Saturday, Dec 1, 2007
I'm not just talking about the site. I'm talking about the entire state of the world.
I've been coming to this site and it's various iterations for over ten years. All the recent events make it clear to me that something significant in my life has either ended or will at least never be the same.
This comes at a strange and sad time. My life for the past 10 years has been a very good, happy one. However, in the last few months, a series of horrible things have happened. My longtime girlfriend and mother of my child informed me that she no longer loved me, and has subsequently broken up with me and moved on to other people, I have regressed back in to the nonfunctional alcoholic of myself that I thought I had left behind years ago (although that is a lie, because I was never truly able to leave it behind,) and I have had to drop out of college (where I have been a straight A student for the past three years) as a direct result of my drinking/ depression. I have also gained almost fifty pounds because of the drinking, and am generally in horrible shape.
I know this may sound like I'm piling it on, but all these things in my life have been changing for the worst, and now this thing at Gamespot happens, and while it is in no way comparable to the other things I mentioned, it still is a very distinct and present reminder of the horrible realization that I have been trying to deny myself of for so long: Things are never going to be how they used to...
I am so sad recently, and Gamespot has (at least a little bit) been there to help me think of other stuff, but now there has just been this horrible change recently; and just as I feel with the other changes that have happened recently, it seems as though there will be no recovery...
I'm not articulating myself very well, and I've never written in a blog or anything like this before. I just have noticed the whole world changing for the worst and I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this. I'm not sure how many people are tracking me, but I'm pretty sure its only a small number. This isn't a cry for help or anything, but it would be nice to hear what others had to say on this topic. Thanks for reading this far.
I've been coming to this site and it's various iterations for over ten years. All the recent events make it clear to me that something significant in my life has either ended or will at least never be the same.
This comes at a strange and sad time. My life for the past 10 years has been a very good, happy one. However, in the last few months, a series of horrible things have happened. My longtime girlfriend and mother of my child informed me that she no longer loved me, and has subsequently broken up with me and moved on to other people, I have regressed back in to the nonfunctional alcoholic of myself that I thought I had left behind years ago (although that is a lie, because I was never truly able to leave it behind,) and I have had to drop out of college (where I have been a straight A student for the past three years) as a direct result of my drinking/ depression. I have also gained almost fifty pounds because of the drinking, and am generally in horrible shape.
I know this may sound like I'm piling it on, but all these things in my life have been changing for the worst, and now this thing at Gamespot happens, and while it is in no way comparable to the other things I mentioned, it still is a very distinct and present reminder of the horrible realization that I have been trying to deny myself of for so long: Things are never going to be how they used to...
I am so sad recently, and Gamespot has (at least a little bit) been there to help me think of other stuff, but now there has just been this horrible change recently; and just as I feel with the other changes that have happened recently, it seems as though there will be no recovery...
I'm not articulating myself very well, and I've never written in a blog or anything like this before. I just have noticed the whole world changing for the worst and I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this. I'm not sure how many people are tracking me, but I'm pretty sure its only a small number. This isn't a cry for help or anything, but it would be nice to hear what others had to say on this topic. Thanks for reading this far.
Friends
My Friends
