With another year coming to an end, comes another mad dash to release films for this Oscar season. Films that would never have a snowball’s chance at a Styx concert are released in the vain attempt to win either the Best Adapted...
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With another year coming to an end, comes another mad dash to release films for this Oscar season. Films that would never have a snowball’s chance at a Styx concert are released in the vain attempt to win either the Best Adapted Screenplay award or the Best Original Screenplay award.

Enter The Fountain, Darren Aronofsky’s follow-up to the rollicking screw-ball comedy Requiem for a Dream. Now, the humor is a little lost on this one, as is the unnecessary Jennifer Connelly mirror sequences, but what it lacks in nudity, it more than makes up for in Wolverines. Not since David Lynch made a movie that had to be explained in the linear notes of the DVD, has a movie been so easy to understand and so flatly uninteresting. Before you say anything, yes, I did get it. Its not very complicated. Believe me. Its pretty painfully clear what its about. It just isn’t very good. I like flying future bubbles. I love Christian Mayans. I adore anything where Rachel Weisz dies, but this hit far from the mark for me. Like a Virginia Wolfe book brought to the screen by Literalist, The Fountain fails at almost every level. When one of its endless subplots begins, any interest that is presented quickly fades away as Rachel Weisz enters a room and asks Wolvie to go for a walk. Remember in Star Wars how there are all those silly wipes, cross-wipes, star-wipes, between the scenes? Well, they do the same thing here, but its with Rachel Weisz asking to go for a walk…Brilliant.

So, got a date with a hipster? Want to scare someone into breaking-up with you? Just taken Quaaludes and your Cable’s out? Get your butt to the theater in the next four days, cause this movie won’t be seen until the four director’s cut hits DVD in a month.