Okay so...this is just me rambling on about how crappy things are so dont feel the need to read it.

Depression. What is depression? A lack of control over one's life? A feeling of no hope? A supreme sadness that affects every aspect of one's life? Okay so i aint exactly depressed yet but its getting there since i am defo displaying some symptoms!

Everything in life at the moment is crappy...im stuck in a building that is falling apart piece by piece. University is the major factor. My essay is currently 2 days late, going on three meaning thats a possible 15% of the marks are going to be snatched from me. I am on the verge of giving the pile of supremo sh!te in which is way less than the word limit, and is just a piece of crap. I only need 40% to pass so i have lost the will to care. Well it's my own fault, i left it way too late. Then there's the test i did not revise for. Then there's the week long sleep deprivation i have so far endured.

I look a complete mess aswell. Just trying to cram sleep has left little time for personal maintenance...and the shower is broke! That in itself is a hell!

Also, internet connection seems to have crapped out. Why must you leave me. WHY?! sure it monopolised my life a bot too much but sadly that and tv is all i have! And that means i havent seen my beloved SUPERNATURAL episode!! the only thing i actually look forward to during the week!

Next it's the lovesickness. Possibly the worst kind of illness you can get. I have this kind of crush...well ive had it for a while on someone that is unavailable...really unavailable and it is driving me mad. What with that and my ind thinking up evil plans to be squished by my conscience ....ahhhhh!

Finally there's the loneliness. yep...since uni, the friendships which were already diminishing are close to finally being extinguished... .

So my life consists of uni (hell)- sleep - uni - lovesickness - sleep - panic attack - uni - sleep , with an occasional meal or two.

NOT EVEN TIME FOR TV!

And every day i wake up i think..."thats it, you're one day closer to death" yep....death lately has become soooo terrifying. And i know we all got to die someday and theres no point worrying about what may come but i cant help it.

So...thats about it. The moanings of a crazy woman. If i had a little faith then maybe i would pray to find some inner peace...yet i find a belief in god illogical... one supreme being dont make sense...though i wish i could believe in something. Just for some hope.

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