Okay so...this is just me rambling on about how crappy things are so dont feel the need to read it.

Depression. What is depression? A lack of control over one's life? A feeling of no hope? A supreme sadness that affects every aspect of one's life? Okay so i aint exactly depressed yet but its getting there since i am defo displaying some symptoms!

Everything in life at the moment is crappy...im stuck in a building that is falling apart piece by piece. University is the major factor. My essay is currently 2 days late, going on three meaning thats a possible 15% of the marks are going to be snatched from me. I am on the verge of giving the pile of supremo sh!te in which is way less than the word limit, and is just a piece of crap. I only need 40% to pass so i have lost the will to care. Well it's my own fault, i left it way too late. Then there's the test i did not revise for. Then there's the week long sleep deprivation i have so far endured.

I look a complete mess aswell. Just trying to cram sleep has left little time for personal maintenance...and the shower is broke! That in itself is a hell!

Also, internet connection seems to have crapped out. Why must you leave me. WHY?! sure it monopolised my life a bot too much but sadly that and tv is all i have! And that means i havent seen my beloved SUPERNATURAL episode!! the only thing i actually look forward to during the week!

Next it's the lovesickness. Possibly the worst kind of illness you can get. I have this kind of crush...well ive had it for a while on someone that is unavailable...really unavailable and it is driving me mad. What with that and my ind thinking up evil plans to be squished by my conscience ....ahhhhh!

Finally there's the loneliness. yep...since uni, the friendships which were already diminishing are close to finally being extinguished... .

So my life consists of uni (hell)- sleep - uni - lovesickness - sleep - panic attack - uni - sleep , with an occasional meal or two.

NOT EVEN TIME FOR TV!

And every day i wake up i think..."thats it, you're one day closer to death" yep....death lately has become soooo terrifying. And i know we all got to die someday and theres no point worrying about what may come but i cant help it.

So...thats about it. The moanings of a crazy woman. If i had a little faith then maybe i would pray to find some inner peace...yet i find a belief in god illogical... one supreme being dont make sense...though i wish i could believe in something. Just for some hope.

xXxXxXxXx

ASYLUM

That's right people, they have finally decided to lock me up...okay so it was voluntary...who wouldn't want to spend a weekend mixing it up with a bunch of crazy people hooked on Supernatural! Yes! I am off to ASYLUM 2009 in the UK! It is going to be awesome...got to get shopping for the themed parties though...one of them is School of Rock. A bit stuck on the costume idea though...because I don't want it to look too much like my costume idea for the heaven and hell masked ball. I am thinking it would cool to be like a black/goth/angel of death! Kind of like Peyton's off One Tree Hill

I want HUGE black feathered wings! Might be tough to get through doors though lol.

SPEAKING OF SUPERNATURAL

How great has season 4 been? It just keeps getting better every season! And the introduction to our new heavenly character played by Mischa Collins. Such a great character and I just love the way Mischa does it...with those really expressive eyes. Anyway...CANNOT wait to get into the thick of the plot...EVIL SAM! when are you going to rear your fine head? I find Jared is at his best when evil.

FAVE SUPERNATURAL S4 SCENES SO FAR...

1. Well, the fave just has to be...the beginning of metamorphisis when Dean and Sam are in the motel. Jared and Jensen were so good in that scene...all the emotion, and with the music...and the punching...i just really felt the love!

2. Bobby's reaction to Dean. The dude trys to stab Dean twice then when it seems he has finally accepted Dean is alive he chucks the holy water at him! Just c!assic Bobby, but a really great scene.

3. ANYTHING with CASTIEL! Every time he comes on screen he leaves such a great impression. Like his SPECTACULAR entrance...one of the best...no wait, THE best entrance of any tv character i have ever seen. I need an entrance like that everywhere I go! might get expensive with the lights...but hey its worth it.

Anyway, guess i'll end here...and i think i will do it with one of my fave jokes...it's short and sweet;

Q. What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

A. The taste

1. The blinding white has to be sorted, there is just way too much of it ... and it is not good for the design of the site, the environment or the people viewing tv.com...this should be the top priority really since it can actually cause heath problems! Well, the whole colour scheme in general is just bad I mean (and i have said this a lot) it went from warm, friendly, community-like format to a cold, unwelcoming and generic format. The character and life of tv.com feels like it has been stripped away.

2. The grey font on the forums for a quote. This is quite puzzling, like why is the font grey with a white background? It seems ridiculous when people are already having to strain their eyes due to the white and then even moreso to read a quote.

3. Blogs, now the old blog system was much better. You could see the entire entry from beginning to end. And the number of tracked blogs too small, only 4! This number should be increased.

4. When posting in forums the top of the post, you know where the user info is displayed is way too big with too much unused space, either fill the space or just make it a little smaller would probably be better

5. And finally, it would be nice if there was like a place to go where users are told of upcoming redesign ideas and plans tv.com staff are planning on implementing...unless there already is one???