I felt like blogging and figured that I should since a couple of people have inquired about college.

First, though, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who posted in my 10K post party thread and who commented on my last blog! I received some really nice comments. I had no idea that people even really knew who I am, let alone had such nice opinions. It really was nice, so thank you.

College has been okay so far. It's been a bit stressful, but it's alright. I think I like it better than I liked high school, though I do miss a few things about high school. I miss my Latin clas.s (we'd been together since 8th grade), the Latin club, my Latin teacher, my band teacher, and my band clas.s It's been hard not having Latin and band in my schedule. Luckily I'll be in band next semester! I absolutely cannot wait.

I like Computer Science (my major), but I wish I were better at math. I could be better, and the only reason I'm not better is because I'm lazy. I am just so lazy. I have a lot of ambition, but I completely lack motivation. I really thought that I'd be more motivated in college, but then I realized that you can't just suddenly become so motivated. You have to gradually develop good habits and gradually kick the bad habits. It's not something that can happen overnight.

My clas.ses are pretty interesting and I like all of my professors. My grades are okay right now, but I do need to buckle down in pre-calc and programming...now.

I haven't really made any friends. I occasionally make small talk with people in my clas.ses, but I haven't made any friends... I don't know. I like keeping to myself. Not long ago I was all stressed out about making friends, but I'm not really the type of person who needs to be surrounded by people at all times. I have a group of close friends who are all still in town, and I'm good with that. I also have a large circle of acquaintances, some of whom are in town and some of whom are away for college. I have friends and people in my life. I guess I just don't care enough to go out and make new friends.

I've been pretty stressed lately. School's been stressing me out and my dad's still stressing me out. He's been home from the hospital for about a month now, but he hasn't really done anything. He finally had to go back to work this Monday, and it hasn't gone well because he hasn't done anything while at home. It's just depressing and I wish I could get away from it. I'm tired of every aspect of my life being stressful.

All of the stress has been weighing heavily on my mind, and I haven't been sleeping at all lately. During the week, I usually get 1-3 hours of sleep each night, and only 5 or so on weekends. I'm so exhausted all the time.
I'm disappointed with how I've been doing in college thus far. I guess I've only been there for about a month, but I feel like I should've done more by now. I also dislike how inadequately I've been performing in my clas.ses. I get stuff done, but I'm just not doing as much as I should be.
I'm just really disappointed in myself. I've been so angry with myself lately. I've been a fairly self-destructive person for about five years, but lately it's been worse and more frequent. If you don't know what I mean by that, you can probably guess.

On a lighter note, I've seen a bunch of weird movies lately and I've fallen in love with Elliott Smith. His songs are just amazing and I can't get enough of them.
Also, I feel like I've finally made some GS friends (well, most are on TFG) and it's nice.

Lastly...I just got a new Last.fm account, so feel free to add me if you have one!

That's about all I have for now. I'm sure you're tired of my complaints anyway.