Instructions: YOu read the story and then choose an action. You then scroll down and read the consiqunces of the action you picked.
You are walking down a street. Two guys walk up from behind you, you think they are going to mug you. Instead they walk past you. You see them cross the street. A guy sitting on the stoop across the street sees them and trys to run. They catch him and start beating him. You can't get the police, you dont have time. You know they are going to kill the man. You are alone on the street.
Do you
1) Walk away
2) Try to help the man
3) Hide
Results:
1)As you start to walk away, a 3rd man starts to walk down the street. One of the beaters sees the 3rd man. They seem to know each other. The 3rd man starts to run. One beater follows him. When he is gets close to you, he knows you have seen the whole thing. He grabs you by the collar. He starts to punch you in the face. All of a sudden you see Blue and Red lights. The Cops arive. The man drops you and starts shooting the cops. The cops kill both of the 1st guy and the 2nd guy. They walk up to you and ask you what happened. You look over at the man who was getting beaten. He is dead. You let the man die, but you escaped with your life.
2) You know you have to help the man. You look around for some kind of weapon. You see a rusty pipe. You creep up behind the 2 guys. You hit one in the back of the head. The other guy turns around but it is too late. You hit him in the face also. You notice a gun in one of the mens belts. You reach for it and pick it up. All of a sudden you hear sirens. The police arrived. One of them gets out of their car and shoots you. You realise that you had the gun in your hand. As you lay on the ground coughing up blood and slowly dying, you see the man you were trying to save. He is ok. You then loose your vision and die
3) You duck in to a near by building. You see a phone. You call the cops. You look out of the window. You see a third man walking down the street. One of the beaters pulls out a gun a shoots him in the head. He is now dead. You vomit. The killers hear the police coming. They know they have to hide. The other one pulls out a gun and shoots the man on the ground. They start to walk to ward the building that you hiding in. The bust down the door and shoot you. You die.
The commercial brags about the buzz that it has created. Yes, 300 have created a lot of buzz. Unfortunately, many people mistake good buzz for a good movie. I am here to ask the **** question about 300. No, the question is not "Why were all the guys in leather Speedos" (although that is a good question). No, my question is was 300 really THAT good. I am going to break this down in to three parts.
Part One: The Writing
"Their Arrows will block out the sun"
"Then we will fight in the shade"
This is just one of the many pathetic attempts at a "cool" line. This line may seem cool but I must remind you that their is a difference between cool and good. A good line is one that really means something, a line that really stays with you. The only reason I remember that said line is because it is on the commercial. A good line is also one that takes some thought. This line looks like it was written by someone who watches too many cheesy TV cop dramas. Unfortunately this is one of the best lines in the movie. One of the most widely known lines is:
"This is Sparta"
When I hear this I just feel like asking the writers "wow, did you figure that out all on your own?" I mean, come on! Anyone could write a line like that. I just feel like saying to Gerard Butler (King Leonidas) "Thanks captain obvious." I will just say this, this movie has some of the worst writing, it's almost like they did not even try. 3/10
Part Two: The Acting
This is my favorite part. Why? This is my favorite part because this is the part where the movie falls flat on its face. Let's start out with Gerard Butler (King Leonidas). Gerard Butler gives the best performance of all the actors in the movie. This, mind you, is not a good thing. About 80% of the time he is yelling about something. Really I just can't keep up. Also, why does he have a Scottish accent? His performance is mostly dry. He talks about stuff and yells about other stuff. All of this is just a stall for the action. Rodrigo Santoro (Xerxes) is by far the worst actor. His performance was so bad I laughed half the time. He said all his poorly written lines with no emotion. I don't know if that was part of his persona or not, but either way he was just horrible. Theron (Dominic West) is decent. He plays the guy everyone loves to hate. The traitor, who everyone knows will be dead by the end. He has a smarmy British accent. He delivers his lines. That's about it. He puts in a little emotion here and there, but nothing to make me remember his name or say "Wow, that has Dominic West!" The acting is really bad, that's all that can be said 4.5/10
Part Three: Everything Else
This movie was about one thing: Action. This is where the movie delivers, in a way. This movie was mostly CGI. In some places the CGI was good and in some places bad. In one scene that takes place in rows of wheat crop it looks horrible. It is obviously CGI. The action is rather well animated. Unfortunately the slow motion is poorly implemented. It seems that it is in all the wrong places. Enough about CGI, lets get down to it. The action is good. It's not really all that disgusting. I have to admit I did enjoy the fight scenes. The hack and slash was fun to watch. It was like a video game. I am sad to say that I would of much rather of stayed home and played Half Life Two because its more fun and the writing is better in HL: 2. The last part of this movie which I will review is the monsters. There are several weird monsters in this movie. 300 is having an identity crisis. It needs to make up its mind, is it a real action movie or is it an action movie like lord of the rings. It comes off as the latter, and not in a good way. At one point there is a humpback. Yes, I said humpback. It is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever scene. The action was good but that's about it. 5.5/10
Summary:
Pros: It's on a big screen. People get their heads chopped off. CGI can be cool in places.
Cons: Its 10 bucks. The writing is horrible. The acting is horrible. Parts that are supposed to be serious are funny. Like a bad video game
Total Score (Note that it is not an average)
4/10- Its like you're in the move, only you are the one who just lost their head.
Friends
Tracked Blogs
