This morning I had to make a bi weekly trek from my home in the southern most region of the St. Louis area to north St. Louis County (90 mile round trip). During this trip every single thing that horks me off on the rooad happened. These are all things that I belive should be CAPITOL crimes. Let me share my morning with you.

1) Cell Zombies! A cell zombie is a person that shuts out all external stimuli the second their cellular phone touches their ear. Today one of these morons drifted into my lane at 65 miles an hour with less than a car length seperating us. I wanted to rip her arm off and beat her to death with it.

2) Traffic Monitors! A traffic monitor is one of these waste of stem cells that feels it is their responcibility to enforce the the speed limits. They do this by getting in the passing lane, and set their cruise control at or right below the speed limit (usually while pacing the cars in the other lanes). I was trapped behind one of these morons for 17 miles of my commute.

3) Dog F#$kers! These arguments for abortion allow their dogs (usually the lap variety) to roam free about there car. A majority of the time the dog plants themselves on the owners lap and paw at the steering wheel and/or window. The dog owner then pays more attention to the dog than the road. I was nearly side swept by one of these waist of space.

4) Gappers! These self important wastes of space will close the gap between themselves and the car infront of them as soon as they see a directional that indicates some one needs to get into this space.

5) Punishment Lights! These are stop lights that are on a set cycle, causing motorist to have to stop, idle and waste gas while absolutly no one else is at the light. I hit a half dozen of these obsticles this morning.

Thanks for letting me vent and I hope you got a chuckle from this.