Wednesday, Dec 3, 2008
It happened few days ago, last week actually... I was with a high-school friend (who is a girl) having coffee and cake in a student bar. We haven't seen each other for a long, long time so we had a lot of catching up to do... As the time went by laughing and retelling each other stories, I spotted one guy looking over at our table...something attracted me to him but I couldn't figure out what...he was good-looking...but it was something else...and it wasn't his green sweater...he...looked kinda familiar...
As I was sitting with my back it was awkward for me to look over to his table...but I did few times because I was drawn to him...and I didn't know why...He was sitting alone so I thought that he was waiting for someone, probably his girlfriend...he was texting something on his mobile...but time passed and nobody came...
After some time I remembered where I knew him from...we went to primary school together but only for couple of years because he moved...so I told my friend that I think I know this guy sitting opposite to her and she said that he's been looking over at our table all the time , well actually staring, and that she doesn't know him... then I was sure, it was HIM...
I haven't seen him for ten years or so...he changed, but then I changed too...that's way I didn't recognize him at first...he looked like a man now...
When we were kids, actually teenagers...we were always bickering/fighting about something in front of others,and getting on each others nerves...we weren't best of friends but we weren't enemies either...we were in the same cla'ss and moved in the same socity...I help him with some subjects in school, couple of times...
Thinking back now I remember that someone was teasing me that he had a crush on me...and it really annoyed me because well, he annoyed me...He wasn't popular in school because in a way he was different from others, among other things never going with the flow but he wasn't a nerd or a bully just different...One time after a lot of discussing the whole cla'ss finally managed to agree on something very important for our cla'ss but he was against it and he didn't have a good, vaild reason, so it failed and we were all mad at him...
The thing that puzzled me was that when we were alone he was really nice and kind, totally different...but when we were among others it was like he become this other person, a bit taunting, full of himself even a bit rough but not in a violent kind of way...
Reflecting now I think I had mixed feelings towards him, kind of love-hate type of "relationship"...I had a little crush on him but when I tried to talk to my friends about it they thought I was joking and didn't take me seriously at all...and about that time he moved...
and then...there he was...after almost 10 years...I didn't know how to act and I got caught into what my friend was telling me...and caught in memories but they were all blurry and I remembered not so nice ones first and so unconsciously I tried to block him from my thoughts unsuccessfully...but time flew and suddenly I saw him passing me by and I supposed he was going out of the bar but few minutes later he came back through the same door which I later realized it was the toilet. How could I've I known that was the toilet because I've never been in this bar and there was no sign and it was a strange door for a toilet hall...well...
All the time I had the feeling he wanted to come over to say hi or something...but he didn't, actually I think he was waiting for me to give him some sign...more then I smile... but as I said I got caught up and didn't know how to act.It was like I was in an emotional whirl...felt like a teenager again...
And then...suddenly he was gone...
and I felt so sad, disappointed...like I missed out on something...
All in all...it's all so strange...
If this was a movie...then probably this encounter wouldn't end like this...
But this is life...and I got caught up...and it's strange because I'm the one who always trys to be down to earth, real, sensible...one step ahead of situation...but...
I just...I don't know...
As I was sitting with my back it was awkward for me to look over to his table...but I did few times because I was drawn to him...and I didn't know why...He was sitting alone so I thought that he was waiting for someone, probably his girlfriend...he was texting something on his mobile...but time passed and nobody came...
After some time I remembered where I knew him from...we went to primary school together but only for couple of years because he moved...so I told my friend that I think I know this guy sitting opposite to her and she said that he's been looking over at our table all the time , well actually staring, and that she doesn't know him... then I was sure, it was HIM...
I haven't seen him for ten years or so...he changed, but then I changed too...that's way I didn't recognize him at first...he looked like a man now...
When we were kids, actually teenagers...we were always bickering/fighting about something in front of others,and getting on each others nerves...we weren't best of friends but we weren't enemies either...we were in the same cla'ss and moved in the same socity...I help him with some subjects in school, couple of times...
Thinking back now I remember that someone was teasing me that he had a crush on me...and it really annoyed me because well, he annoyed me...He wasn't popular in school because in a way he was different from others, among other things never going with the flow but he wasn't a nerd or a bully just different...One time after a lot of discussing the whole cla'ss finally managed to agree on something very important for our cla'ss but he was against it and he didn't have a good, vaild reason, so it failed and we were all mad at him...
The thing that puzzled me was that when we were alone he was really nice and kind, totally different...but when we were among others it was like he become this other person, a bit taunting, full of himself even a bit rough but not in a violent kind of way...
Reflecting now I think I had mixed feelings towards him, kind of love-hate type of "relationship"...I had a little crush on him but when I tried to talk to my friends about it they thought I was joking and didn't take me seriously at all...and about that time he moved...
and then...there he was...after almost 10 years...I didn't know how to act and I got caught into what my friend was telling me...and caught in memories but they were all blurry and I remembered not so nice ones first and so unconsciously I tried to block him from my thoughts unsuccessfully...but time flew and suddenly I saw him passing me by and I supposed he was going out of the bar but few minutes later he came back through the same door which I later realized it was the toilet. How could I've I known that was the toilet because I've never been in this bar and there was no sign and it was a strange door for a toilet hall...well...
All the time I had the feeling he wanted to come over to say hi or something...but he didn't, actually I think he was waiting for me to give him some sign...more then I smile... but as I said I got caught up and didn't know how to act.It was like I was in an emotional whirl...felt like a teenager again...
And then...suddenly he was gone...
and I felt so sad, disappointed...like I missed out on something...
All in all...it's all so strange...
If this was a movie...then probably this encounter wouldn't end like this...
But this is life...and I got caught up...and it's strange because I'm the one who always trys to be down to earth, real, sensible...one step ahead of situation...but...
I just...I don't know...
Comments
Page
1
« prev
|
next »
Posted Dec 3, 2008 12:08 pm PT
Hey Honey... hugs.... I'm with JJ it would have happened the same in a movie, but 10 years is a long time and like you said people change... so here's to hoping you bump into him again and soon.
Posted Dec 3, 2008 12:22 pm PT
Thanks girls...
Rethinking I agree with you in the movie it would end the same...
Huge HUGS
Rethinking I agree with you in the movie it would end the same...
Huge HUGS
Posted Dec 3, 2008 2:50 pm PT
From what you tell, that teasing relationship sounds like the typical one of teenagers who have a crush on each other and either don’t want to recognize it or to act on it. It is really typical of boys to act cute when they are alone with a girl and then act like a jerk while among his friends. They are somehow ashamed to recognize they have feelings for someone, I guess they mature later. And since the magnetism seems to still be very present, it’s a pity that you both let the occasion slip between your fingers. Hope you guys meet again and you can grasp a second chance. Maybe he frequents that bar 
And the fact that you weren’t able to take the first step doesn’t mean that you aren’t down to earth or sensible, you just got caught off guard and doubting is very human. Thanks for sharing it with us. Huge hugs
And the fact that you weren’t able to take the first step doesn’t mean that you aren’t down to earth or sensible, you just got caught off guard and doubting is very human. Thanks for sharing it with us. Huge hugs
Posted Dec 3, 2008 4:18 pm PT
BM you are so right...it was a typical teenagers behavior but I didn't realized it back then...being a teenager myself...LOL...oh and word the magnetism describes it perfectly,I couldn't find the right word while I was writing the blog...just wanted to vent, to let it all out quickly...so it would stop haunting me...
...Muchas gracias para tus pensamientos carida ESTHER (hope I got it right)
...Muchas gracias para tus pensamientos carida ESTHER (hope I got it right)
Posted Dec 3, 2008 5:43 pm PT
Awww honey!
I'm sure you'll bump into him again, it can't just be a coincdence!
Love you loads
I'm sure you'll bump into him again, it can't just be a coincdence!
Love you loads
Posted Dec 4, 2008 3:28 am PT
HAYLEY - oh how sweet, thank you hunni...but I think I took it like it was a coincidence...to be honest I haven't thought about him since school time...OK maybe he crossed my mine once or twice but he didn't stay there for long... but I am surprised with all this emotions that came out of nowhere...it was in a way like some movie encounter ...chic flick movie...hahaha
but I am surprised with all this emotions that came out of nowhere...it was in a way like some movie encounter ...chic flick movie...hahaha
Posted Dec 4, 2008 5:33 am PT
Awwww Petra *hugs* Maybe you'll bump into him again you never know. If you're ment to connect again then the universe will find a way.
Posted Dec 7, 2008 7:56 am PT
Page
1
« prev
|
next »
Friends
My Friends
jordinajamaica
HUGE HUGS PETRA!!