It happened few days ago, last week actually... I was with a high-school friend (who is a girl) having coffee and cake in a student bar. We haven't seen each other for a long, long time so we had a lot of catching up to do... As the time went by laughing and retelling each other stories, I spotted one guy looking over at our table...something attracted me to him but I couldn't figure out what...he was good-looking...but it was something else...and it wasn't his green sweater...he...looked kinda familiar...

As I was sitting with my back it was awkward for me to look over to his table...but I did few times because I was drawn to him...and I didn't know why...He was sitting alone so I thought that he was waiting for someone, probably his girlfriend...he was texting something on his mobile...but time passed and nobody came...

After some time I remembered where I knew him from...we went to primary school together but only for couple of years because he moved...so I told my friend that I think I know this guy sitting opposite to her and she said that he's been looking over at our table all the time , well actually staring, and that she doesn't know him... then I was sure, it was HIM...
I haven't seen him for ten years or so...he changed, but then I changed too...that's way I didn't recognize him at first...he looked like a man now...

When we were kids, actually teenagers...we were always bickering/fighting about something in front of others,and getting on each others nerves...we weren't best of friends but we weren't enemies either...we were in the same cla'ss and moved in the same socity...I help him with some subjects in school, couple of times...

Thinking back now I remember that someone was teasing me that he had a crush on me...and it really annoyed me because well, he annoyed me...He wasn't popular in school because in a way he was different from others, among other things never going with the flow but he wasn't a nerd or a bully just different...One time after a lot of discussing the whole cla'ss finally managed to agree on something very important for our cla'ss but he was against it and he didn't have a good, vaild reason, so it failed and we were all mad at him...

The thing that puzzled me was that when we were alone he was really nice and kind, totally different...but when we were among others it was like he become this other person, a bit taunting, full of himself even a bit rough but not in a violent kind of way...

Reflecting now I think I had mixed feelings towards him, kind of love-hate type of "relationship"...I had a little crush on him but when I tried to talk to my friends about it they thought I was joking and didn't take me seriously at all...and about that time he moved...

and then...there he was...after almost 10 years...I didn't know how to act and I got caught into what my friend was telling me...and caught in memories but they were all blurry and I remembered not so nice ones first and so unconsciously I tried to block him from my thoughts unsuccessfully...but time flew and suddenly I saw him passing me by and I supposed he was going out of the bar but few minutes later he came back through the same door which I later realized it was the toilet. How could I've I known that was the toilet because I've never been in this bar and there was no sign and it was a strange door for a toilet hall...well...

All the time I had the feeling he wanted to come over to say hi or something...but he didn't, actually I think he was waiting for me to give him some sign...more then I smile... but as I said I got caught up and didn't know how to act.It was like I was in an emotional whirl...felt like a teenager again...

And then...suddenly he was gone...
and I felt so sad, disappointed...like I missed out on something...

All in all...it's all so strange...

If this was a movie...then probably this encounter wouldn't end like this...
But this is life...and I got caught up...and it's strange because I'm the one who always trys to be down to earth, real, sensible...one step ahead of situation...but...


I just...I don't know...

Hello my dear friends,

if you still remember me...hope you do...I remember YOU!

It's been awhile from my last post...

Actually it's been 6 month ago... OMG...

In my last post or comment I mentioned that my dad wasn't good, well acutally he had a tumor on his vocal chords and had to go on urgent surgery...That was a a very stressful period in our lives but thankfully now he's doing great...

So I just hadn't had the time or the strength to come here...and later I also had some medical problems, too much stress caused it...and I'm afraid it's back again...and of course my computer crashed...

Anyways, I'm back...hope you're all alright...

CSI:NY I must say I'm very sad & disappointed with all this Danny/Ricki situation, actually I'm heart broken...

Oh, I have a new laptop so hopefully no more CRASHING!

I should be craming for my exams but I decided to come here instead...

That's it for now...I'm off to study but will be back soon I promise...

Lots of huggs'n'kisses

.... I have a terrible cold...

a runny nose...

head hurts like...h*ll

sneezing so loudly that my neighbours across the street behind closed windows can hear me...

my eyes hurt... they are watery and leaking...

I was so happy and looking forward to I S U EuroChamp's Figure Skating and going and bought the tickets... went yesterday...LOVED IT ...

but I caught a bad case of cold... I barely made it home...I drove praying that I don't collapse...my parents had to bring me to the house, I was so dizzy...felt so sick...couldn't stand by myself and had a bad BAD case of MIGRAINE !!!
I thought that my head will explode...

tonight I'm a bit better...I just wanted to let you know the reasons why I'm/will be MIA again...

must go now... have a temperature...

luv ya... would hug ya but am afraid that you don't get sick...

Love, Petra