My life is going good right now.
Well, to be completely honest, it's going more mediocre than good. To say that it's going good would imply that there is more positive than negative; but that is not the case for my life right now. There are some good aspects, but there are also some negative aspects. And when I say this, I am simply describing my mentallity at a certain point. Whether something is good or bad is purely subjective; my mind is the only thing that can determine between positive and negative.
I wish I could sometimes close my eyes and jump forward in my life without having to experience the bad stuff. I wish I could wake up years from now and skip the boring parts of my life. But this is why these feelings only remian a wish.
Isn't it better to live through bad times, rather than skipping over them and never growing as a person? How can anyone appreciate something if all they ever experienced is good times?
It takes bad times to truely learn life lessons.
So I'm glad I'm awake right now, and I'm glad life throws piles of junk at me. Otherwise, how would I ever learn to be compassionate, caring, and a well-rounded person?
Is it wrong to dislike your friends?
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company of my friends. But, on a deeper level, I don't like who they are. Most of my friends of hoodlums, more interested in acting stupid rather than concentrating on school.
So, if I feel like this, then why are they still my friends? Why shouldn't I simply do-away with them, forgetting the lies I tell to avoid them?
On some level, I don't think I can. Sure, I tell myself it's not the end of the world, that being alone isn't so terrible. After all, it's only high school. And if I truly dislike them (which I do), why shouldn't I just get new friends? I am a pretty amiable guy, not to mention I'm smart and quite witty.
It's difficult though. These people are a safety-net for me, which I am not ready to cut. Call me weak if you must! But, one day, I will learn courage!
Until then: "Dude, sorry I can't make that party, but I got stuff to do."
:]
