I know it's been a while since my last chapter, but I haven't really had much time to work on the story because of school. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy the latest installment of A Zero's Tale. Thank you for the support, and remember that there's a Zero in all of us hahaha!!!

Characters involved:

Jet E. Evil (pspitus)

Aidan (Aidan129)

Red (red0584)

th3d3c3ption (Blaze C. Ember)

Catherine

A Zero's Tale

Chapter Four: A Lesson in Love

Song- Wild Arms: Port Town Theme

Scene: Inside of Catherine's Happily Ever After Outlet. The store is filled with a plethora of formal attire from top hats to ballroom dresses. On the walls are rows upon rows of various clothes all alphabetized based on the location from where they were acquired. The rows themselves are organized to showcase the different outfit sizes, with the bottom row being the smallest and the top most row being the largest. There are circular marble clothing racks dispersed within the store towering above like Greek temple columns- the whole store itself is similar to that of a labyrinth. Jet, Aidan, and Red walk into the store with a sense of excitement boiling in their blood.

Aidan: Oh-
Red: My-
Jet: God-

[Jet, Aidan, and Red look at each other with astonishment.]

Aidan: Dude this place is freakin' huge!
Red: It's like a maze full of clothes.
Jet: I've heard that this place was big, but [short pause] God this is ridiculous. I don't even know where to begin.
Aidan: Let's just jack some shi-
Red: [interrupting] Or we could talk to the store clerk or something.
Jet: [agrees] Yeah, that's probably the best idea. We should find the right clothes first before we make our next move.
Red: Alright then, let's get going.

[Jet, Aidan, and Red begin roaming around the seemingly endless maze of clothes when they come across the store clerk sitting at her marble topped desk. It is a young woman around her early twenties- she's wearing a black and red dress that seems to have come straight out of a cosplay magazine. Her dark brown eyes, silky black hair, and luscious figure captures Red's heart. A drop of sweat rolls down Red's forehead.]

Jet: [looks at Red with a huge grin] So, you think she's hot?
Red: [glares at Jet, angered] What are you talking about?
Aidan: C'mon bro, you can't fool us. We know that you know that I know that you're in love dude.
Red: Shut up.
Jet: [thinking] Hmmm….. you know, this might actually work.
Red: What are you talking about?
Jet: Don't worry Red, [gives a thumbs up] I'll break the ice.
Red: What are you talking about?
Jet: It's an expression, sort of like, you know, "Break a Leg"
Aidan: [shakes head] Dude man, that's just wrong.
Jet: [stares at Aidan with disbelief then glances at Red] Anyway, leave the introductions to me. I'll hook you up.

[Jet approaches the young woman while Aidan and Red idly watch in the distance.]

Jet: Excuse me miss.
Young Woman: [looks up from her desk, smiling] Hello, how may I help you?
Jet: Oh yes, me and my good friends here are looking for formal clothes to wear to the annual Sirania Castle's 17th Annual Ball.
Young Woman: [looks at Jet from top bottom] If you ask me, [with a flirty tone] I think you would look good in anything.

[Jet's heart skips a beat, he quickly tries to change the subject.]

Jet: [nervously] So…ummm… miss….uhhhh
Young Woman: Call me Catherine, Catherine Aldehide.
Jet: Ummm…. sooo Catherine, do you have any suggestions for which clothes we should wear?
Catherine: Oh yes, of course. But first I need to take your measurements.
Jet: Alright.

[Catherine takes Jet's measurements from his shoulder length, to his waist size, down to his leg height. As she slowly runs her measuring stick around his body, Red's fists begin to tighten.]

Aidan: Oh my god dude, I wish I was in Jet's position right now.
Red: [pulls out Charizard flyer and begins twisting it with anger] That bastard!
Aidan: C'mon dude, chill out.
Red: I'm going to murder him!
Aidan: [laughing] Never thought you were the jealous type.
Red: [furious] I'm not jealous.
Aidan: [with a silly grin] Yeah you are dude, just look at yourself.
Red: [throws Charizard flyer at Aidan's face] You know what, screw you!

[Red quickly walks over to Jet and interrupts Catherine's measuring procedure.]

Red: [suppressing his anger] If you'll excuse us miss, I need to talk to my friend real quick.
Catherine: Alright, no problem.

[Red quickly jerks Jet's arm and pulls him away from Catherine.]

Red: What the hell are you doing man!?
Jet: Listen, I can explain.
Red: Explain what exactly? How you're seducing the very girl that you said you were going to hook me up with?
Jet: Wait, it's all misunderstanding.
Red: [irritated] Oh no, I think I understood that measuring stick quite well.
Jet: Will you calm down. She came onto me okay. [places hand on Red's shoulder] But don't worry, you'll be hooked up with this girl before we leave this store. I promise.
Red: [sighs] Okay, fine. But it's my turn for measurements.

[Catherine continues recording her measurements for Red and Aidan. She then tells Jet that everyone's clothing sizes are located near the store entrance along the wall.]

Jet: Thank you for your help.
Catherine: It was my pleasure. [winks]
Jet: Yeah, so… [takes a quick look at Red] what do you think of my friend over there. [points at Red]
Catherine: [examines Red closely] I wouldn't know, I've never talked to him.
Jet: Well you should.
Catherine: Why?
Jet: Why not?
Catherine: [with a seductive smile] Why would I if I can talk to you instead?
Jet: [whispers to himself] Freak, this girl just doesn't quit.
Catherine: Come again?
Jet: Oh nothing, anyways I think you should meet my friend Red, he's a really ummm….. interesting guy once you get to know him.
Catherine: Okay, that's fine.

[Jet quickly walks over to Red and Aidan. He explains the situation.]

Song- Persona 4: Backside of TV

Jet: [quietly] Alright you guys I need you to listen. Here's the plan. While I go "borrow" some formal clothes for us to wear I'm going to need you [looks at Red] to distract Catherine, and you [looks at Aidan] to give Red some moral support.
Red: Wait, why do I have to talk to her? [looks at Aidan with disgust] And why do I have to listen to him?
Aidan: [with confidence] C'mon dude, I'm the love guru, I know everything and anything there is to know about girls.
Jet: Yup, you may think he's a complete moron but when it comes to women this guy here knows his stuff. And besides, remember I promised you that you would get hooked up with the girl.
Red: But you never said that Aidan would be the one to help me. I thought you were going to do it.
Jet: Technically all I said was that you were going to get hooked up with her. I never specifically said who would help you. [smiles] Anyway Aidan is way more capable of giving love advice than me.
Red: Are you sure?
Jet: I'm [coughs] positive.
Red: Wait a second why did you just cough?
Jet: Oh nothing, just coming down with a cold.
Red: [raises an eyebrow] Right….
Jet: So you know the plan?
Red and Aidan: [nod heads] Yeah.
Jet: Alright, I'll go get the clothes, you two do your best to distract her for as long as you can. When I'm done I'll give the signal.
Aidan: Wait a second dude, what's the signal?
Jet: [grins] Don't worry you'll see.

[Jet rushes off towards the entrance of the store and begins gathering various amounts of formal attire. Meanwhile Red and Aidan discuss their plan to distract Catherine.]

Red: [with sarcasm] Alright Mr. Love Guru, how are we going to do this?
Aidan: [laughs] Hahaha, don't sweat it bro I've got it all figured out.

[Aidan picks up the Charizard flyer off the ground, folds it, and makes it into a cup. He then uses the Cheese-ZITS box he kept back at the junkyard and makes another cup as well. He tears a long thread of material from his shirt, and connects it to the bottom of both of the cups.]

Aidan: [with pride] Check this out dude! [holds up both of the cups to Red]
Red: What the hell is that suppose to be?
Aidan: It'll help us communicate with each other from a distance.
Red: How?
Aidan: I learned this from one of my friends. [raises the Cheese-ZITS cup] See, I talk through here. [raises the Charizard flyer cup] And you listen from here.
Red: [grabs Charizard flyer] Hmmm….. does it work?
Aidan: [talking into the Cheese-ZITS cup] I don't know, can you hear me?
Red: [nods head] Wow it actually works.
Aidan: And to top it all off. [grabs a top hat from a nearby rack, places hat on Red's head]
Red: [looks at Aidan with confusion] What are you doing?
Aidan: [takes the Charizard flyer cup and puts in underneath Red's top hat, talks into Cheese ZITS cup.] Can you still hear me?
Red: [listening] Yeah I can hear you. [impressed] Wow Aidan, maybe you're not as dumb as you look.
Aidan: [confidently] C'mon dude, never underestimate the love guru.
Red: [curious] By the way, why did you keep that Cheese-ZITS box?
Aidan: To smell it of course.
Red: [sarcastically] Yeah, of course, how did I not know that?
Aidan: Anyways dude, let's get this started. I'll stay back here, and give you directions through this cup. Just listen to what I say and this girl of yours will be all over you.
Red: I don't know man, what if she suspects something.
Aidan: C'mon bro, have you ever played a dating sim?
Red: No.
Aidan: [explaining] Well it's just like that. Me and my fifty other girlfriends always use to play that game. They would give me a bunch of pickup lines to choose from, and all I had to do was pick the right one that they liked in order to get points. [smiles] If I earned enough points they would then make out with me.
Red: And why do I care?
Aidan: The same rules apply dude. Just listen to what I say, and do what I say. The rest will follow. Trust in the love guru.

[Red walks over to Catherine who is idly sitting by. He tries to strike up a conversation.]

Song- Mario and Luigi Partners in Time: Boss Battle

Red: [nervously] So…..my name is Red.
Catherine: Oh I know that, your friend Jet already told me about you. [sighs] Do you know if he has a girlfriend?
Aidan (through cup): Uh oh, danger, danger, quick change the subject. Umm….tell her she's a hot tamale.
Red: [having difficulty understanding] You're a hot tomato.
Catherine: What are you talking about?
Aidan (through cup): Tell her she's a sexy beast.
Red: Uhhh….. you're a sexy beast.
Catherine: [confused] Okay, ummm….thank you?

[Sweat begins to trickle down Red's neck, he knows that this isn't going to end well.]

Aidan (through cup): Ask her if she has a boyfriend.
Red: Do you have a boyfriend by any chance?
Catherine: No, why do you ask?
Aidan (through cup): Tell her, "Baby, is that a banana peel cus I've fallen for you"
Red: [talking to Aidan] What are you, stupid? That's not going to work.
Catherine: Come again?
Red: Oh nothing, nothing.
Aidan (through cup): Tell her, "I'm like a piece of cheese and you're like a meat patty- I want to melt all over you."
Red: [talking to Aidan] Will you quit it, you're not helping.
Catherine: Is something wrong?

[Red can hear Aidan laughing through the cup hysterically.]

Aidan (through cup): [still trying to recover from laughter] Phew, sorry about that bro, I couldn't help myself. [regains composure] Let's get serious here.
Red: [shakes head in disbelief] Idiot.
Aidan (through cup): Tell her, "Catherine, from the moment I met you, I knew you were the one…."
Red: [complying] Catherine, I want you to know, that from the moment I met you, I knew you were the one….
Catherine: [listening carefully] Yes…..
Aidan (through cup): [trying to contain his laughter] "….that would start a party in my pants."
Red: …..that would start a party in my pants.
Catherine: [disgusted] What is wrong with you?
Red: No wait, I'm sorry. [flustered] I don't know what I'm saying.
Catherine: [annoyed] Obviously, Jet said you were an interesting person, but I didn't think he meant that you were a complete nut job.
Red: Look, okay. [takes a deep breath] I really like you….
Catherine: [calms down] Go on.
Red: I've had feelings for you since I first laid eyes on you.
Catherine: [interested] Yes.
Red: I can't explain it, but I have this uncontrollable urge deep down inside of me.
Aidan (through cup): [dying from laughter] Hahaha!

[Catherine slaps Red in the face and he falls hard on his butt. The top hat rolls onto the floor revealing the Charizard flyer cup.]

Catherine: You're an idiot you know that.
Red: Wait, let me explain, that came out wrong.
Aidan (through cup): [still dying from laughter] What came out wrong? Hahaha!!!
Catherine: [stares at the cup on the floor] And what is that?

[Catherine picks up the cup off the floor and notices a long string attached to it. She gently tugs on the string and realizes that there's something at the other end of it. She pulls it hard, Aidan lets go of his cup and falls onto the ground.]

Aidan: Uh-oh, busted.
Catherine: [furious] BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF MY STORE!
Red: [stands up and places hand on her shoulder] Please, let me explain.
Catherine: [shoves Red back onto the ground] GET OUT NOW! I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOUR FACES AGAIN!
Aidan: Even my good looking face?
Catherine: [at the top of her lungs] GET OUT! [looking around] And where's that other friend of yours, [angered] I have a few words to say to him.

[Suddenly Blaze C. Ember bursts into the store.]

Song: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wild Pokemon Battle)

Blaze: [desperate] Save the Charizards, we need to save them! Their species is dying! Help me! Please!
Catherine: [annoyed] And who is this suppose to be, another one of your friends?
Red: No, not really.
Blaze: [notices Red and Aidan] Oh, my friends. [rushes over to them] How are you guys doing?
Catherine: [throws an evil glare at Red] As you were saying?
Red: [trying to remember Blaze's name] Oh, ummm hey uhhhh….
Blaze: You don't remember me? I'm Blaze C. Ember. The Charizard Savior.
Aidan: [laughing to himself] Oh course we remember you bro. You're that crazy dude.
Blaze: [shakes Catherine's hand violently] Will you help me save the Charizards miss? [talking to himself] No you have to be more assertive, how many times do I have to tell you? Listen to me Ember I know what I'm doing. Yeah I know what you're doing. You're being crazy that's what you're doing. Be quiet. I can say whatever I want.
Catherine: [pulls hand away from Blaze] Let go of me you weirdo!
Blaze: [grabs Catherine's hand again] Miss, you have to help me. The Charizards need us. Help me or else I'll destroy your store! You can't do that. Yes I can. Stop it. No YOU stop it.
Red: [whispers to Aidan] We should get out of here while we still have a chance.
Aidan: [agrees] Yeah no kidding dude, let's get out of here.

[As Blaze continues talking to Catherine, Red and Aidan make their way to the store entrance unnoticed.]