1. i admit my life has been a living hell since the age of 3.

2. i admit me and my bother are poor

3. i admit i dont eat on pourpose

4. i admit i like cutting seeing the blood poor down my arm makes me rember i controll my pain.

5. i admit i dont know my real father

6. i admit i hate my family in america

7. i admit i smoke

8. i admit i feel like a 14 yearold acholic

9. i admit i HATE the attention i get

10. i admit my smiles and laughs are fake

11. i admit im jelous of anyone who looks happy, i wish that was me.

12. i admit i cry myself to sleep

13. i admit im not 100% okay with my brother being bi even though its not my choice

14. i admit i lay in bed and think about having the perfect life because it feel great to feel like i have one even if its just for 2 minutes.

15. i admit im not really stupid im just lazy.

16. i admit i have thought about sudicide more then once.

17.i admit i've been through more things then most grown ups.

18. i admit my family thinks me and my sisters are a disgrace.

19.admit i'm terrified of something happening to my brother.

20.i admit im adicted to newports.

21.i admit my moms an alcoholic

22. i admit i want to stop hurting.

23. i admit i lost my vergnity in 6th grade

24.i admit im scared of my self

25.i admit i'm the least loved child.

26.i admit i have no self control

27. I admit that i have anger issues.

i admit even after all these confessions i just made, i still have some things to admit

im back. not like yu care. ive been gone for like wat a couple months and NOTHING cahnged not 1 blog comment not one Pm. why am i writing it no ones gonna answer ha. and if yu do yur f*ckin amazing. schools been ruff. i faild 2 classes its because im stull figuring out most my french dude like i lived in america were they speak english i havent spoken french since i was little and they just expect to throw me into a french speaking school and get straight A's. w.e its not like i get in trouble anyway i live with my brother who also failed out of high school. but i love him. i really do. he helps me with SO much. i never relized their was someone out their that understood me till i met my older brother spencer. he trys to work so hard to keep the damn roof over our head tho i feel so guilty that i dont work yet. were barely making it through month by month. we live on monster and cup of soups. my parents send us $ for clothes but thats if they rember. i walk everywere. my friends tell me they feel bad but it doesnt bother me. spencer even said he rather live like this with a person along with him then live like this alone. he always tell me if its to hard to handle living in a 1 room aparment i can move back home but even tho we have just a portible heater and just one tiny tv and a microave and a mini fridge thats it no big appliances no heating system just a room(literally a room not a bed room, like my kitchen living room and bedroom is the same room) and a bathroom and 2 matrices and 2 cardboard boxes were we keep our clothes i love it SO much more then home. me and spencer make it trust me we make it.i feel bad tho like spencer is such a nice guy and he doesnt have a grilfriend. he actully isnt completly straight he is bi and i respect it but i just dont understand why he doesnt have a boyfriend or girlfriend trust me all my friends are like omg your so lucky your bbrothers so hott. and wen we go places liek girls stare at him like trust me he looks like one of my exs but he is single. i feel bad and i wanna help hahah maybe i should lol anyway i g2g bye ?

your gonna be disapointed in me =/. i started smoking again. no that much tho like literally a pack last me 5 days. but nothing else is coming it to my life drugs are gayyyy and im not oding them. its just hard not to smoke me and my brother akways has a cigg in his hand was finally temted and im liek light me one and we sat on the porch and smoked i was liek i miss it so much !! i gate menthal ewww my favuorite is definally just plain old ciggs hahaha. umm so yeahhh i got my extentions their like 3 inches under my boobs and their pink and bleach blonde like i have coontails on a strip then the rest is blonde and then my regualy hair is blackkk. im geeting the inside of my lip tatto what should it say ?????? i took out one of my snake bites because it was getting anyoing ! so now i onyl have one hahahahaha w.e it looks cool and i took out my toung ring for good because i heard a disgusting story about them soo i decinded not to have it anymoree lol okayy im doen telling you about my boring @ss lifee!!