I hate them. I honest to God hate them. I love the handheld device. Some of my favourite games are on the machine. There's nothing wrong with the machine. What is wrong with it is the adverts for it. I'm not sure if you have them in the States or any other part of the world - BUT MY GOD.

First of all the people they pick to praise the DS make me sick. Old people who are retired and are rotting away waiting for death have now postponed that appointment thanks to the magic that is the DS. Their lives are so busy now, what with the raising of the puppies; brain training to take care of that Alzhimers or whatever the hell you call it; chortling insanely with loved ones as they race with Italians, turtles and frigging monkeys. I MEAN MY GOD WHY NOT JUST SAY DS CAN CURE CANCER. Chemo Therapy should be a game for the DS. Comes with a device that emits powerful radiation rays and exercises to ensure the cancer stays benign or something. Okay that's a little drastic but stating that a handheld has made your life better is going a bit too far for me. I play games as a hobby. Occasionally I sing and dance about them but I don't go on TV saying games have practically taken care of money worries, social problems and my cancer.

Oh and the celebrities. THE CELEBRITIES. Why can't they play proper DS games on the machine? Oh wait, they can't. Anything remotely like a proper game and they just look bored and uninterested, their face just anchoring for the paycheck look (case in point remember the Halo 3 launch party with **** Pharrell Williams). Ninja Gaiden DS, Kirby Powerpaint Brush and a whole host of other severely underappreciated games went by unnoticed because of the bevy of advertisements for the quick fix games I like to call em. NInja Gaiden DS is probably one of the best games for the damn machine and it's sickening to know how many people actually played it. It's not perfect, but it plays extremely well on the DS and I rate it more than Ninja Gaiden 2 because NGDS is a far more pure undiluted experience. And it's fun. And it's a technical masterpiece for the machine. Unlike the TIMES ROMAN HEXAGONAL HEAD DR KAWASHISHSHSHAHDSSGSAN and co.

Oh and the Cursed Mountain advert. No. NO. NOOO. For those who haven't seen it, it's basically people playing in the dark with a night vision camera watching em jump and scream. I felt embarassed watching it. There's no way a game like that can possibly make anyone jump or go "ARGH". It's not on man. The scariest game ever made is Silent Hill 2 and incidently one of my favourite all time games because of that fact. I have my mint collector's edition stowed away safely so I can admire it as I destroy the laughable scariness of Cursed Mountain.

I am glad that games are becoming far more mainstream but at the moment it's juvenile advertising and insults me to no end. It's just aggrovating that the focus seems to be on the actual people playing the games and not the game itself. Many a time I see a poster of a massive photo of a family playing the game that is being advertised and is designated to just three squares in the corner. I have no idea on what to take from that. I am suppose to be hip because I have the same game? Should I not feel bad because these perfect people are playing games? I get so confused

Well rant over. Nintendo adverts suck big time. Except for the Punch Out back cover advert I saw on Retro Gamer. That one was done right