Well, I have no idea who's the author of these questioners,but they've been popular around here for quite some time by now and I thought it could be fun to make our hero Gregory House answer one of them...Sure, he wouldn't answer to me as who I am, but we're in a virtual reality ,everything is possible here. So I decided to put on a "skin" of Angelina Jolie (it was a tie between her and Selma Hayek -House ,apparently, has a thing for both of them.But Selma's pregnant right now,so...)No way House could refuse one short (ha!),innocent interview to her...Enjoy!

P.S. All answers written in blue are the real House's quotes.Of coarse ,I've riped them out of the context and sometimes combined...but it's just how it works in the media and is called editing,right?

1. Are your parents married or divorced? . For how long?
Married for 47 years. He was a marine pilot. She was a housewife. They have one child.
2. Do you think heaven exists? I have difficulty with the whole concept of believe. Faith isn't based on logic and experience…On the other hand…macadamia nut pancakes…those little slices of haven. Forget 72 virgins. If I blow myself in a crowded restaurant ,I'm going to be asking for the plate of those babies.

21/2( ) Ever run away from home? Well, apparently, you know me better than I know you…I promised I wouldn't .My fingers were crossed ,though…
3. Favorite place? I'm exactly where I wonna be, doing exactly what I wanna do.
4. Favorite time of the day? "The L-word" marathon…on mute…
5. Favorite website? Internet porn…Gosh , Internet such a wonderful tool…
6. Would you ever have plastic surgery? Come on. Do you know me at all?
7. Are you homosexual? Oh,the way to win me over…I'm gay .. It does explain a lot… No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers…
8. Ever kiss someone of the same sex (not including family)?This is fun…Ever seen an infected pierced scrotum?
9. What do you wear to bed? It depends…
10. Ever done anything illegal? I was wrong. I'm terribly ,terribly sorry...Actually ,it's kinda cool.

101/3( ) Been arrested? I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone ,that someone is probably the last person you should ask…
11.. Fired a gun? Absolutely.
12. Shot someone? Paintball .Doctors vs .Lawyers…And for that I'm, actually sorry. It was stupid.
13. How many illegal drugs have you tried? Really good drugs? ..Oh , you tricked me…Gosh, dang it, I got a chance to make a difference here…I'm in pain. They let me to do my job. And they take away my pain.
14. Did you get caught? I sort of doubt it.
15. Hair color? Psych ward's upstairs…
16. Short or long? Is that like a dare or something?

17. Eye color?Jealous?
18. Favorite saying ?Everybody lies.
19. Ever wore pajamas to cla.ss or work? Sounds exactly like something I do…
20. Future children's name? Is that suppose to surprise me?...Caleb and Cody…Relax…It's not what you think.
21. Do you snore? I've heard rumors since Junior High…
22. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? That's kind of selfish ,don't you think?
23. Do you like to sleep in? Come on. Who doesn't? ..I'm a night owl…
24. How long did your longest phone conversation last? "Not much"…it's always an answer.
25. With who? Hey, I have feelings. I'm trying my best. Isn't that enough for you?..
26. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Reuben sandwich ,dry, no fries, hold the pickles…
27. Ever go scuba diving? Trust me "Six Flags" – way more exiting…
28. City, Beach or Country? Only thing I can do is think .You can pretty much do it anywhere. As long as no one's bugging me.
29. Sleep with your bedroom door open or closed? Cool. I love gossip…
30. Where did you eat last? How mentally incompetent can you get?
31. Are you allergic to peanut butter? Gosh, I wish I would…
32. Are you an artist? Nope .Waste of time.
33. Musician? Every day.
34. Athlete? Are you mocking me?... I kick and I bite.
35. Bookworm? Force of habit….Do I need a better reason?

36. When's the last time you cried? Oh, here we go…Next time you want to make me feel all warm and fuzzy ,leave a message…
37. Why? Boo-hoo…
38. Do you talk in your sleep? It's an anomaly. Anomalies bug me.
39. Window seat or aisle? Wow ,excellent question…Please ,tell me I don't have to decide.
40. Ever met anyone famous? Don't care…
41. Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? If we were all just satisfied with what we had, what a beautiful world it would be .We'd all slowly starve to death in our own filth, but at least we'd be happy…No. There's things I can't do .And like you said ,I …have to live with reality.
42. Twirl your spaghetti or cut it? It would be easy and it would be wrong…
43. Are you ticklish? Nice idea, but no… Are you a fan of a Brazilian? I…
44. Ever bite someone? I was in a crazy mood…
45. Ever push all the buttons on the elevator? I was disoriented…
46. Ever make out in an elevator? What is it ,eighth grade?
47. How long do your showers last? Don't you hate doing this?.. Oh, Okay than. One caveat, I've moved past threesomes. I'm now into foursomes. If someone backs out ,then ,you're still got a threesome. And if two people back out, you're still having sex. You'd be amazed, even if three people…

48. Are you self-conscious? Always. It's just who I am.

49. Ever drunk so much you threw up? It's actually much worse than it sounds.
50. Do you drink alcohol on a regular basis? I don't drink.
51. Do you smoke? You know, why they have ribbons for breast cancer, colonrectal cancer, prostate cancer – and not for lung cancer?.. It's because people blame lung cancer patients. They smoke. They screwed up. They deserve to die. The reason people die from lung cancer is guilt.
52. Do you drink a lot of milk? It's…creamy.
53. Ever stay out all night without getting caught? As annoying as you can get, at least I know you're not gonna pop a cap in my a$$.
54. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? You know, from the way you look at me right now, I'd say you just hit #5.Lust.
55. Have you been in love ?Is that the one that makes your pants feel funny?

56. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? I'm a doctor.
57. Police car? It's ,actually, not as glamorous as you might think…
58. Fire engine? It'll be challenging…
59. Can you tango? I hurt my leg. I've got a note.
60.Have you ever been in Europe? Pretentiousness is hereditary.
61. Africa?People do crazy things…
62. Mexico? Key to a long life: exotic women and boring cheese…
63. Last gift you received? Cuddy sent me a stripper again?
65. Last sport you played? I have a cane and I know how to use it.

66. Been on a blind date? Successfully?
67. Dated someone with more than 10 years age difference? It wasn't a date…
68. Been fired? It wasn't nearly as dramatic as I was hopping.
69. Thing you spend a lot of money on?1000 dollars…two all-access passes to… paradise itself…the biggest official monster truck jam in the history of New Jersey…They only give these tickets to the owners..
70. Where do you live? Okay. We have a neurological problem here…
71. Where were you born? "I was born in a log cabin in Illinois."
72. Last wedding attended? No! No, no, no, no. God, no.
73. Have you ever been married? I lived with someone for a while…
74. Divorced???!!!...(sigh hopelessly)..That's impossible…
75. Most hated food? Staffed pepper...smells awful…looks like it was rolled onto your plate by a dung beetle …tastes…better than it looks.
76. Last person you text messaged? I'm not into that…
77. Saying what? In this universe ,effect follows the cause .I've complained about it, but…
78. Favorite regular drink? Testing a new caffeine delivery system…
79. Favorite person? Well, there is this gal I met in Nam, who could blow out a candle without using…
80. Least favorite person? That would be telling…
81. Current crush? You can torture yourself all you want…

82. Are you in a complicated relationship? I don't want any relationships.
83. How about a serious/happy relationship? Nice grasp of concepts .Relationships .Very cool. Very smart..
84. How many houses have you lived in? I've gotta get back at work…

85 Favorite candy bar ?Norwegian chocolate…I'm a sucker for chocolates…

86. Have you ever tripped someone? Technically…(well, you remember the gesture ,right?)

87. Least favorite school subject? Sorry trouble concentrating…The low cut blouse. The "do me" pumps…
88. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Nope…Because I'm just mean son of a …

89. Have you ever thrown up in public? Now I'm feeling nauseous…
90. Favorite genre of music? I saw music..
91. What's your zodiac sign? Seriously…I think red thongs...

92. Do you like beer? Any particular ...variety?

93 .Have you made a prank phone call? Oh ,I'm just too nice…
94. Are you sarcastic? I have a feeling I gonna regret this, but - yes.

95. How many watches do you own? You know, relative to their size, gorillas have smaller testicles than humans…
96. Summer or winter? You want a medical opinion on that?
97.Is anyone in love with you? Who wouldn't?

98. Favorite color to wear? Blue…It sets of my eyes…
99. Where is your second home? Real question is why are you still here? You need a hug?

100. Have you ever slapped someone ?You would just love it, do you?

101.How many lamps are in your bedroom? You are brain damaged .Doomed to feel good for the rest of your life.
102.How many video games do you own? Helps me concentrate. Even better than drugs…
103. First pet you owned? That would be…Steve McQueen…the rat…Jealous?
104. Do you use chopstick? I'm missing my soap for this?

Any minute we refuse to love one another ,another puppy cries another tear…

106. How many children do you want? Oh, you know me too well..…those two jury-friendly moppets, Caleb and Cody…
107. Favorite breakfast meal? Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I'm that good.
108. Ever thought you were in love? Oh, welcome to hell…I'm not sad I'm complicated .Chicks dig that…
109. Have you ever been in a castle ?High School reunion?
110. Nicknames ? Yeah, I'm good at that…...The littele ones call me uncle Greg...
111. Who was the last person that called you? Wilson James, wonder-boy oncologist …Are you done?..
112. Do you own a diamond ring? Call me crazy, but I'm sensing unresolved issues…
113. Are you happy with your life right now?I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you are, like half your age…
114. Do you like your hair? God, I've got to learn not to beat around the bush…
115. Who is the one person who can make you happy any day?Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again.
116. . Do you own a box of crayons? Sorry, can't play anymore. My mum's calling me…

117. Are you closer to your Mother or Father? …I don't hate her...I hate him.

118. Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Chicks with no teeth turn me on…that and those chocolate –covered marshmallow bunnies…
119.Have you ever eaten pasta?I've had Puttanesca…
120 Do you own a webcam? Yep. Work smart, not hard, that's my philosophy…
121.Have you ever stripped?Boogie…oogei…oogie...They make movies about it..

122. Ever broke a bone? No pain, no gain…
123. Have you ever had your heart broken? Nothing can hurt my heart…
124. Ever had a wish come true? Beat the Yankees and save the free world…Oh, bite me!...
125. Ever kiss in the rain? Nope…That's my story and I'm sticking to it…like a wet tongue to a dry ice… No applause?

126. Do you own a car? Oh, yeah...Two-wheeled vehicle that go 180 miles an hour.. Evel Knievel had the same set up…
127. Can you cook? I cook a lot...Stop talking…
128. 3 things that annoy you? You see, that's why the face- to- face interview is so important .You gotta know who you're getting in bed with..
129. Money or love? There's two things we get stupid for : money and sex…

130.Do you have any scars ?Quite the insight…
131. Gum? ...breath mints…
132. Do you enjoy sweet food? Time for Girl Scout's Cookies already?
133. Do you like yourself? Yes, sure, why not… I'm the big poobah, the big cheese, the go-to guy...

134. Who was the last person you said "I love you" to? I suppose, that's your point…Double-entry bookkeeping?
135.Who was the last person that made you mad? I don't like loud, angry giant's threatening me with violence..
136. Who was the last person that made you cry? I'd hate that – that's why I, cleverly, have no personal life.
137. Who was the last person that made you laugh? Sharon's plan for Gaza…?
138. Who was the last person that called you? Nobody ,but it's not even lunch.

139. What is your favorite scent? I love the smell of puss in the Morning. It smells like…victory.

140. When is the next time you will kiss someone? I find your interest interesting…Time's up. Thanks for playing.