Do people get sucked into games anymore these days? I don't mean figuratively, I just remember that this was a common occurence back in the 80s but I haven't seen it happen in any entertainment spectacles lately. They get pulled into comic books and TV shows/movies, maybe, but it's been awhile since I saw anyone get dragged into a game. The reason I ask, is because I was playing Beyond Good and Evil a few weeks back and it got me thinking about the best "role" to take on if you happened to become a victim of transplantation into a game.
See, almost every Pearl (the currency in that game) I found had to be handed over to a bunch of rasta rhinos so they'd upgrade my ship enough to enable me to continue in the game. I was only trying to save the whole planet, but I still had to pay through the nose to do it. I realized this happens time and again in games, and I arrived at the conclusion that taking a path of "selling or creating" is probably the best bet in the volatile world of a game.
Sure, the Hero gets all the glory. Whey-hey, they kicked the Evil Ruler out the window of the top floor of the Oppresive Dark Tower! All hail the Hero! Sure, that would be nice if you could get that far, but what about all the saves and extra lives you had to use? Naah, that's cheating. The heroes always have a whole lot of work to do and are frequently placed in precarious situations. Frankly, it's a lot more hassle than it's worth to get a kiss from a princess or something. Who knows if you're going to be the vanquishing hero, either? You might end up being one of those morons imprisoned somewhere and have to wait until the hero comes along and kills your guards, or, worse still, just a skeleton along the road, to be inspected (boots and coins taken), and forgotten.
You could be the evil overlord too, but you're just too big a target. You'd never get any sleep from all the worrying over whether you put enough spikes in the pit or goblins guarding the door. You do get to plot and scheme, though, and pepper it with a maniacal laugh. That does count for something, I'll admit, but think of all the things you have to plan for - foiling a hero's advances would surely take up all of your leisure time as well as business hours. What if he attacks when you're sleeping, too? You'd never get any decent rest. No wonder they're usually insane.
Don't even get me started on sidekicks, either. You risk your butt constantly, always get the second-best armor/weapons, and are frequently loaded with crap your boss doesn't want to be bothered carrying around himself. You also get stinky hand-me-downs from the Hero when he finds something better. And when you finally finish your quest, everyone remembers only the hero, at best you get relegated to "and co" in the history books. Nuts to that.
Now, I also think a bunch of those people standing around all day (or walking to and fro!) have it quite easy, but you don't really get anything out of it. Sure, your house is saved or he finds your lost frog, but overall it's a drab existence of shuffling about and whining. "You have to stop him!" or "Please, you're the only one who can save us!" are the types of things you have to spout. Lame, isn't it? Plus, if the Hero falls into the lava pit, you're doomed - I wouldn't like an existence like that.
And what about the Important Quest givers? Even worse. It's true that they don't have to work much, butthey're usually someone who can't do the mission themselves for who knows what reason, and once the hero is done with it, who's going to remember them? They're most likely going to be put under intense scrutiny and probably lose their job as a result of the fiasco. "So, you were the sheriff, were you? Why weren't YOU out in the bandit caves, then?" Once the press get a hold of it, you're finished, because frankly all you did was, yes, walk to and fro the whole time. Yes, like a chicken.
No, no. The best profession is the merchant, no doubt. You're never really put into any mortal danger, you sit in your house all day (where you can play Minesweeper at your leisure, as no one visits), and wait until that Hero sap stumbles in, bleeding, so that you can fleece him at your convenience. "I know you're saving our town, sir, but a guy's got to make a living and that's my best magical shield! 60,000 gold, I'm sorry. Okay, 59 999, because I like you. Sorry, you need more gold. Get back to fighting those orcs and stop ruining my rug." The Hero also saves you from going into any dangerous situation by bringing all the dungeon items back to you, leaving you to just knock 2/3 off the buying price and sell it yourself. You'll make a fortune from his constant visits! The merchants are also hardly ever in any real danger from the hero. Sure, you can slap some people around in some games, but the games mostly stop you from doing anything too serious. That, or there are loads of Fuzz around to make you pay dearly.
Overall it would depend what game I was in. Fallout, for example, allowed you to kill just about anyone, including merchants (although you might open a world of hurt on yourself), so I'd probably think twice about being a merchant in that world. All those mentats pills look mighty tempting to all the wrong people, whereas some loser eating tar off the side of the road doesn't merit a second glance. Come to think of it, I wouldn't want to be in that world at all if possible.
Most of the time, however, Merchants are well protected, and are definitely worth considering. I'm not really sure how you get started, though. Do you have to go spelunking somewhere to get some basic things to sell and build up your empire? In that case being a craftsman would be even better, as you'd only pay for raw materials. Or you could just go to the easier areas, clear them out, and wait until Bad Man realizes he needs to beef up security and sell your wares to the saps going in there to fight. Yes, methinks this needs much more planning and maybe isn't as easy a path as it would seem, but it's definitely the safest one.
Sometimes it seems the merchants get their just rewards, as in the fate of Griswold the Blacksmith (and the whole village) in Diablo, but this is not true. The fact is, if Griswold had given you the best stuff for free from the start, you would have made it to the bowels of hell all the quicker and accelerated everyone's demise. No, if you *are* doomed, you may as well stretch out your existence as long as possible.
Even the merchants in RTS games like WarCraft 3 have it easy. They just sell to whoever shows up and don't have to worry about being crushed like the rest of the people on the map. You make no enemies, and make a tidy profit to boot. Win win! In an RTS the merchant, if present, is by far the best, if you can't snag the role of "commanding arrow", that is.
In conclusion, I can't really find any reason why not to choose to be the merchant if the game decides to "play you" one of these boring sunday afternoons. You have great financial stability, you don't have to do the dangerous work, and you have a steady supply of goods coming in from all the adventurers out collecting. Saving the world is for suckers, the real money is in investing in the hero! Remember that, and don't forget to move out of the room quickly if your gaming system is suddenly hit by a wierd lightning bolt or ever starts glowing oddly. Do not touch it! Seek assistance! Oh and one more thing: if I ever play the game you're in, please give me some kind of finder's fee discount! I need that pistol!
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