Well I just had to didn't I? After the comments over the last hour or so. Having read his profile, quite a few of his posts and comments, I have been entertained, enlightened, educated and of course embiggened, so I felt he was right in asking just where his lifetime achievement award was, so here it is;
Unless you prefer this sort?
Please raise your glasses to Vendbien (and give him one) and toast an award a long time in the making, and I'm sure just as long in the celebrating 
. it's a good thing he's just joined the household, at least he won't have to drive home.
Oh, and as to the other thing, the imagination is always fertile ground, but I'll leave a little something in your room.