Monday, Feb 16, 2009
The following is some random sayings that I have picked up from friends or, in some cases, created on my own. Some of these may be dependent on an understanding (maybe even a misunderstanding) of American English, but I hope you will be able to see the wisdom or humor or both.
1. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
2. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
3. The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job!
4. If you are good, you will be given all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
5. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
6. All those in favor of conserving gasoline, please raise your right foot.
7. The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
9. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
10. It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.
11. If you want the last word in an argument, just say, "You're right."
12. The trouble with life is that you're half way through it before you realize it is a do-it-yourself thing.
13. I don't know why the police was so upset, the sign said, "Fine for Parking."
14. College is where you have three options: to sleep, to study, or to party. You can only pick two each semester.
15. Pain is bearable until it hurts.
Do you have some you'd like to share? Can I use them if I do a part two?
Thanks for reading and comments are welcome.
There is a new form of the tag rotation where you tag five people in your blog and then they are supposed to tag five people. Anyway, the new one is a zombie infection, so I have been 'infected' and the five I have chosen to 'infect' are:
1. optiow
2. Papitar
3. Plaweird
4. bigd575
5. FireBirdPheonix
Some of these I chose because it is time for a new blog from them. 
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Posted Feb 16, 2009 4:52 pm PT
lol nice blog I like 3,6,11,13,14.
Posted Feb 16, 2009 6:40 pm PT
Some very good ones on that list sir. I expected nothing less from you.
Posted Feb 16, 2009 7:46 pm PT
Nice sayings, some are very wise, I like 11 and 15 the best.
Posted Feb 16, 2009 9:12 pm PT
9. I'd actually like to live to 200 or 300.
11. Or you could cheat by looking in a dictionary.
14. I wouldn't have much interest in any parties.
I've got many aluminium lifts in multiple colours which all converge at the centre of the queue.
11. Or you could cheat by looking in a dictionary.
14. I wouldn't have much interest in any parties.
I've got many aluminium lifts in multiple colours which all converge at the centre of the queue.
Posted Feb 16, 2009 10:10 pm PT
lol I agree with the clock one
Posted Feb 16, 2009 11:10 pm PT
Just wanted to let you know, your blogs are always amazing.
Posted Feb 16, 2009 11:22 pm PT
Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? 
Posted Feb 17, 2009 12:06 am PT
Lol, I like these, I like 8 and 11 the most.
one of my ones-
'A broken clock is always right at least twice a day'
one of my ones-
'A broken clock is always right at least twice a day'
Posted Feb 17, 2009 3:11 am PT
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
Posted Feb 17, 2009 5:52 am PT
Travis, thanks, my friends and I are always coming up with these things.
Josh, thanks and I still hate to write, but I'm glad you liked them.
Nate, thank you and I guess it is not less than nothing.
optiow, some are very wise and some you have to think about to see the wisdom.
Richard, Why settle if you have to give up everything that makes you want to live that long...go for 1000. Then you get to do like I did the first few semesters, sleep and study.
FM thanks, that one helps if you understand but misuse like we do a lot of times.
Travis, thanks again, but I still don't like to write and I'm hoping that I don't get tired of looking at this one for a while.
Brian,
that's a good one, can I use that if I do a part two?
gormo, thanks and I often feel like that broken clock.
Since 11 is so popular I said that the ONE time I had the advantage in an argument with a girlfriend and she started to get flustered, so I said just say you're right and you get the last word.
Josh, thanks and I still hate to write, but I'm glad you liked them.
Nate, thank you and I guess it is not less than nothing.
optiow, some are very wise and some you have to think about to see the wisdom.
Richard, Why settle if you have to give up everything that makes you want to live that long...go for 1000.
Then you get to do like I did the first few semesters, sleep and study.FM thanks, that one helps if you understand but misuse like we do a lot of times.
Travis, thanks again, but I still don't like to write and I'm hoping that I don't get tired of looking at this one for a while.
Brian,
that's a good one, can I use that if I do a part two?gormo, thanks and I often feel like that broken clock.
Since 11 is so popular I said that the ONE time I had the advantage in an argument with a girlfriend and she started to get flustered, so I said just say you're right and you get the last word.
Posted Feb 17, 2009 6:04 am PT
Some of these sayings remind me of Steven Wright and George Carlin, funny points to ponder
Posted Feb 17, 2009 7:48 am PT
Celtic, most of these came from one friend saying something and then another wise-cracking with a finish. I guess it wouldn't surprise me to see or hear similar things somewhere else. I know Carlin had some funny stuff, but I wouldn't have thought these were in the same class. Well, I guess some of them are pretty good.
Posted Feb 17, 2009 8:21 am PT
That was a great read. You should post more if you can, cause I'd sure enjoy seeing more of them. They were all good, but I want to try out number 13 with a cop and see how that goes. Though I'd assume it might go poorly. At least the cops here are pretty chill. So more!
Posted Feb 17, 2009 9:08 am PT
Robert, that was the easiest way for me to do that one, even though it isn't exactly how it happened it gets the point across. We have several that are sign related, like: Slow Children Playing...The only time I've ever seen slow children is if you were trying to get them to do something.
Posted Feb 17, 2009 11:38 am PT
I understood most of them, quite funny. Us Brazilians love this kinda stuff, I may get some, translate and send you if you like.
Posted Feb 17, 2009 1:07 pm PT
Thanks slip, sure you can pm me anytime and so can anyone by the way. I just wish I had written all of ours down, I could write a book.
I just wish I had written all of ours down, I could write a book.
Posted Feb 17, 2009 3:55 pm PT
Feel free my friend, good stuff you have too btw.
Posted Feb 17, 2009 10:01 pm PT
Thanks Brian, well some of them are better than others.
Posted Feb 18, 2009 4:15 am PT
Nice blog =P Too bad I didin't really get every one of them, but most on the list were good ones =)
Posted Feb 18, 2009 11:03 am PT
nice one I like all of them, but number 5, that should be me in future (economic high school ) but number 4 is the best
I like all of them, but number 5, that should be me in future (economic high school ) but number 4 is the best
Posted Feb 18, 2009 11:03 am PT
Linda, yeah that is the problem with American English, we have so many possible meanings that the same word can have opposite meanings. It doesn't help that I'm a poor writer either. I hope you enjoyed some of them.
AZ, there are times when all we do is define occupations. I thought the economist was one of our better ones. Are you going to be good or are you going to be really good? I seldom got to really good.
AZ, there are times when all we do is define occupations. I thought the economist was one of our better ones. Are you going to be good or are you going to be really good? I seldom got to really good.
Posted Feb 18, 2009 12:25 pm PT
Some of them reakky make sense
Posted Feb 19, 2009 10:09 pm PT
Dean, that's what makes some of them funny, at least a little. I guess it was funnier when we were coming up with them. Hey, did you get your computer straightened out?
Posted Feb 20, 2009 4:33 am PT
FINE DON'T TAG ME.
I like this blog. Number 1 is fun.
And as for my top 10 games, Ocarina of Time is the last on my list to be from N64, so you're in luck if you played PS and PS2 games.
I like this blog. Number 1 is fun.
And as for my top 10 games, Ocarina of Time is the last on my list to be from N64, so you're in luck if you played PS and PS2 games.
Posted Feb 21, 2009 4:48 pm PT
Tyler, you're safe, I've done my tags. I thought 1 was pretty good too. I've played PS and PS2 games.
I thought 1 was pretty good too. I've played PS and PS2 games.
Posted Feb 22, 2009 2:39 pm PT
Very interesting to say the least
Posted Feb 23, 2009 10:47 am PT
Clarence, we do have some interesting discussions...some more so than others.
Posted Feb 23, 2009 3:03 pm PT
here's a war 1 "Just because you fighting the british army, doesn't meant that you should only place Anti Tank mines in the left side of the road"
Posted Feb 24, 2009 9:05 am PT
Hey tazzer, I haven't seen you in a few months, welcome back! We don't do too many war ones so I'll have to start that up with them.
Posted Feb 24, 2009 12:20 pm PT
No one loves life. Living is love enough. 1, 5, 8, 10 are my favorites.
Posted Feb 24, 2009 3:57 pm PT
Thanks black_hen, Man that one is deep, good one.
Posted Feb 25, 2009 12:55 pm PT
I see you're playing Xenogears! Crazy good game.
It is also, hands down, THE most convoluted game I have ever played. Ever. And by convoluted, I mean in terms of story. It's just insane.
I hope you have a good time with it!
Btw, where in Florida do you live? I'm from Jacksonville. But I go to school in South Carolina.
It is also, hands down, THE most convoluted game I have ever played. Ever. And by convoluted, I mean in terms of story. It's just insane.
I hope you have a good time with it!
Btw, where in Florida do you live? I'm from Jacksonville. But I go to school in South Carolina.
Posted Mar 2, 2009 12:37 am PT
Posted Mar 8, 2009 8:19 am PT
My head hurts.
Posted Mar 8, 2009 3:36 pm PT
@tazzertwo, I'm glad you got it back. To loose both at once is not fun.
@msudude211, I'm sorry, I tried to have enough humor so that wouldn't happen.
@msudude211, I'm sorry, I tried to have enough humor so that wouldn't happen.
Posted Mar 10, 2009 4:29 am PT
i have not got them back yet 
i'm at my mt8's on him slow slow laptop
i'll tell you when i have it (juneish)
i'm at my mt8's on him slow slow laptopi'll tell you when i have it (juneish)
Posted Mar 10, 2009 8:49 am PT
I don't get # 6. But hey, the rest are funny. In contradiction of # 11, I should have to say, If I said "You're right", They would ask me why I'd said they were right, in conclusion, they'd have the last word. That is, unless I could explain myself why I would just say, you're right.
Posted Mar 10, 2009 4:36 pm PT
@NinjaMunkee, hehe, I have considered 11 as being all you have to say to end the argument, but there can always be other things said...like "thank you"...but technically when you say you're right, the argument is over and anything else that is said is just conversation.
For number 6, I didn't think about the possibility that the gas pedal could be controlled some other way than with the right foot. The point is based on the normal "all in favor raise your right hand" but we replaced it with right foot because that is the one that normally controls the gas pedal.
For number 6, I didn't think about the possibility that the gas pedal could be controlled some other way than with the right foot. The point is based on the normal "all in favor raise your right hand" but we replaced it with right foot because that is the one that normally controls the gas pedal.
Posted Mar 11, 2009 6:33 am PT
Ahhh, now I get it. Thanks for explaining.
Posted Mar 11, 2009 2:25 pm PT
Posted Mar 11, 2009 10:55 pm PT
@NinjaMunkee, you're welcome and thanks for commenting.
@furu13, glad you liked them, and thanks for commenting.
@furu13, glad you liked them, and thanks for commenting.
Posted Mar 12, 2009 4:01 am PT
Yay no infection.
Posted Mar 14, 2009 5:47 pm PT
@Allwhitez you were lucky because I didn't know when you would get things squared away.
Posted Mar 15, 2009 7:13 am PT
You need a new blog! I want to see another blog I can comment on!
Posted Mar 24, 2009 10:36 pm PT
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
Posted Mar 25, 2009 1:12 pm PT
@MareInfinitus: You can comment anytime. The PM works well too. Ok, I'll see what I can do for you soon.
The PM works well too. Ok, I'll see what I can do for you soon.
Posted Mar 25, 2009 5:41 pm PT
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