Recent paranormal studies have proven true a strange and selective curse placed upon some people in this world.

All those with the curse display ALL SIX of the following characteristics:

1. They are over three feet tall.

2. They eat a lot.

3. They are very hot-natured and don't like it.

4. They get scared easily.

5. They believe depression over a mail order package is best dealt with through art.

6. They like crackers.

The people with ALL SIX of those characteristics barely live past the age of 30. The reason? Starting when they learn to walk, they rapidly turn to dust while alive. At 17 years of age, their bodies begin to get weaker and weaker until the day they completely turn to dust.

It is best that these people do not attend football games, take IQ tests, or go outdoors dressed as a giant carrot (that last one is only applicable to people whose family name appears anywhere on their property).

I have talked with basselope7 and she says she is one of those people; she has all six of those characteristics.

If you are too... get help. NOW.