Hey all, hope you are well on you way to being prepared for the upcoming holidays. I am a little behind, but given just a bit of time to myself should have everything done with time to spare...so hurray for that.

I have had an interesting week, and I am using the word interesting to prevent me from using many other words I could think of to describe my huge unexpected repair bill for my car. Poor Ethel, (yes, she now has a name) was sick again and this time it cost me an arm and part of a leg to get her back up and running. Good thing I took her in when I did, or she may have needed life support. She is back home now and all is well, but I sure did miss her for the days she spent at the service garage.

So anyway, I have been spending quite a bit of time baking and making candy for the holidays, this morning my house smells like fresh oranges, as that was the last kind of candy I made before I went to bed last night. I do love waking to the different scents and it inspires me to make the next flavor, just to see what the aroma will be. Sampling is not a bad thing either and with the kids, there is no lack of willing guinea pigs ready to try whatever new thing I come up with.

The subject for this blog literally came to me out of the blue, a simple statement made by a woman I know and it made me stop and think about so many things that I take for granted in my life, past experiences that have helped shape me into who I am, experiences both in loving and in heartache that are the very foundations of how I think and how I react to things around me.

This woman, I choose to use the term lady, as that is certainly what she is, stays pretty much to herself. In the eight years I have known her, I have never seen her carry on a conversation with anyone except me and those are usually rather short, very quiet, and very average day to day kind of chats. Nothing too personal, nothing controversial, just a little chatter to make the work day go faster. She will be waiting for me once in a while to share a joke she has just heard, or to tell me something interesting about her volunteer work at the animal shelter. She is a shy and quiet lady, but warm and kind, always asking about my children, my life, or what I think about the latest headlines on the news.

This lady, in her early 60's, came to me on Friday to tell me that she had gone in for a physical, she said that most everything was fine, nothing to worry about, but she also said that she had a bit of trouble with the annual pap smear. I asked what the problem was and she got even more quiet than normal and confessed to me that she has never had sex and so was a bit timid and very nervous about that particular test. I was floored! I struggled to keep my mouth from gapping open as she explained that she has never had a boyfriend, never gone on a date, never been kissed by a man. I must admit, I was taken aback, her just saying the word sex was the closest I have ever heard her come to using a swear word and the way she said it made it sound like a dirty word. So what do you say to something like that?

I know from our chats over the years that her father died very young and she was left to care for an ailing mother, and help raise a younger brother. She took care of her mother for years, working to support the family until the brother finally graduated. He moved away, leaving her to continue to care for the mother, leaving her own hopes and dreams behind to do what was needed at the time. She has never complained to me about that, but says with a certain pride, how she took care of her mom right up until the end. The mother finally passed away, leaving the house to the daughter that had given up so much to take care of her.

By this time, she was in her late twenties, and her focus was not on finding a husband, someone to love her, but to survive. She had given up on her chance to further her education and so had to work hard to pay her bills and take care of herself, leaving no time for romance. She did what she needed to do and in that she lost the chance to love and be loved in a one on one way. While she has no regrets about the choices she has made and lives a contented life, she does feel that she missed out on some things.

As I thought about this I realized some of the things that we that are in love, or have loved take so much for granted. Sex, yes, that is a big one, but even more than that is the kindness shared between lovers, the little things that go without comment, but that mean so much. Having someone to take your hand and help you along, having that person you can be totally yourself with and they love you anyway. Knowing that no matter what, you always have someone in your corner to cheer you on, or to wipe away your tears, someone to build memories with, to share your dark days as well as your glowing ones. Someone to touch your cheek and tell you that your beautiful, to hug you at the end of the day, to hold you in the night.

Loving someone, being in love, can cause so much pain, but it can lighten you up more than you could ever imagine. It gives you strength, it gives you courage, and it brings with it a certain peace, a harmony and melody in this chaos filled world. To never have experienced the joys and sorrows of love, the fluttering of your heart as your lover touches you, the swelling of your heart when you feel your love is too big to be contained within your heart alone, all the wonders of that intense connection to another human being is allowing one of life's greatest experiences to pass by. To love is to risk pain, to risk heartache, but it is beyond worth that risk. Love, even if it is fleeting, short and painful in the end is worth it and I can't imagine what my life would be like had I never taken a chance on it.

My friend, great lady that she is, has missed out on a wonderful thing, but never having known love, all the wonders and pain that can accompany it, does not miss it. It is one of those things that until you have experienced it you cannot miss. She has no idea of what could have been and that is probably a good thing. For to have known love, how could you ever live without it again?

So that's it, my thoughts for the week. I hope you are all well, happy and looking forward to the holidays. Just be sure that with all the craziness of the season, you make time to have some fun...after all, fun is what life is all about...

later...