So today, well tomorrow technically, will be a year since I joined tv.com.
I'm still trying to wrap my heads around this. A whole year? It seems like just yesterday I was that annoying newbie that double posted and went OT.
Oh wait...I still go OT...never mind! : P
The other day I went all the way back through my old blogs and I can't believe I wrote some of them. I don't know what you guys thought of me back then, but some of the things I posted, nothing in particular, but , well I annoyed myself reading back over them, so I want to thank you first of all for putting up with me!
This is not to say I'm not annoying now, I'm sure I am, I just hope I'm a tad more bearable!
I would like to say I've grown up a lot more in the past year than I have any other year.
You guys. Oh gosh, I literally don't know where to start.
Since I find music so amazing at putting my feelings into words, I'm going to post lyrics throughout this blog.
I like the way you're not afraid, you've got the world planned in your mind , people say you cannot do it, but they don't know a friend like you
I suppose I'll start at the beginning. I first joined because my obsession with CSI: NY was getting to be more like a medical condition than just a favourite TV show.
I started during my Easter holidays. That was a time when I felt as though I was alone in this world. I know it sounds so stupidly cheesy but it's true. I hadn't seen my friends for a while, I'd sort of shut myself off I suppose. But then I came on here.
So you lost yourself, so you lost your way, found life through someone else, but you threw it all away.
I was somehow lucky enough to have you let me into your lives, and I am never going to stop being thankful for that.
I have never not been myself on here. For some reason, I felt myself open up to you all, I felt myself not caring about being vulnerable with you because I knew you would never let me down.
When I'm with anybody else, it's so hard to be myself, and only you can tell.
I feel like you all know me better than my "Real World" friends do. Though I feel strange using the term "Real World" now because you are my real world friends. I could not be happier about that fact.
I've never been good at the whole making friends thing, I'll always say something awkward or stupid on first meeting, so I guess it was probably easier on here cos I could actually think about what I was saying to you before I typed it!
I don't want this to be one of those "you know who you are" blogs, because you might not know, you might not know just how important you are to me. That said, when I name names, I tend to forget someone, not because they're not as important, just because I'm forgetful like that.
So now I am going to name people, but if you're not listed, don't think it's because I don't love you, it's just because I'm a bit awful at things like this.
You seem to know the way, to turn my frown upside down, yeah you always know what to say, to make it feel like everything's okay.
The Wendy Bunch You really do know who you are. Char, Lottie, Leila, Ellen, Jenne, Heather and Kris. If there is one thing that I have to look forward to in my life, the road trip is it. I can't literally put into words how excited I am for it, because I know it'll happen, because I'm going to make it happen. You have all got so many qualities in you that add up to this one astounding group of people and there's not much I feel I can add to that group to make it any better. So I'm sort of the girl in the corner watching you and loving you and occasionally making a very blonde remark. We've been through a lot together, what with "The Black Weeks" as we've taken to calling them and everything else life throws at us. There is a certain strength in me I cannot call my own, because I know it comes from all of you. A text, An LJ post, a stupid blog, that's all I need to make me smile. That's all I ever need. Thank you for making "Wendy" mean what it does. Thank you for giving me you. I love you.
And I think to myself, it's a beautiful night, and I know everything is gonna be alright,. Yes I know everything is gonna be alright.
BM, Gwen & JJ I call you guys my "internet big sisters", and it's possibly the most apt description. You are the kind of big sisters I wish I had, you give me advice when I need it and a good foot tapping when I need it come to that. You are all funny, sweet and caring and just downright amazing! Thank you for the letters, for the cards, for the postcards, for the comments and for the words. Thank you for always being someone to talk to on the TIU thread, thank you for listening to me when I don't know when to shut up. Thank you for being the best role models I could ask for. Thank you for giving me three wonderful women to aspire to be. Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! I love you,
It just takes some time little girl you're in the middle of the ride, everything, everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright.
Hayley You're pretty amazing aren't you? I want to thank you for being someone I can text pretty much whenever, even though I know it takes you while to respond, it's always something to look forward to. I love you so much for sending me that card when you heard about my Dad. I love you for texting me episode synopsises at the beginning of the season. I love you for your crazy Twilight obsession, which I am understanding more and more every day. Thanks for that by the way. You are going to go so far in life, I can tell. You don't have to take me word for it, but when you get to that point in your life when you make an outstanding achievement, I want you to remember this and remember that I always knew you could do whatever you wanted when you put your mind to it. Thank you. I love you.
I'll follow you where you're leading, to the first sweet taste of freedom, you got me running baby, wild at heart.
Brina I'm not sure if you're going to get the chance to read this, but I wanted to include you, because you have been a great friend to me. I fell in love with fanfiction after reading your story "Secrets" and promptly read about 7 other ones. Thank you for convincing me to go and write my own fanfiction. That whole story would not have been possible without you so thank you so much for helping me discover my love for writing. Writing is now my greatest love, and I could not have discovered that without you. You're such an amazing writer Brina, everything you have ever written has blown me away. Never ever stop writing. Okay? Thank you so much. I love you.
Patry and Stacy and Maria Thank you both so much for the endless amounts of laughs you give me on the TUI thread. Stacy, thank you for constantly leaving Carmine shaped brownies; you know I love you for it! Patry, thank you for the Christmas card, it was so lovely of you. Thank you both a crazy earth shatteringly amount. For being so awesome! Thank you. I love you.
A year has come and gone. I've already posted a "new year" blog so I feel there's not much else to say.
Oh, yes.
I lost my way a bit at the start of this year and what helped me through, and what is still helping me heal now, is knowing I have friends like you. You are what keeps me going, knowing that you cared enough when everything went wrong to PM me. You don't know how much you do for me. Even when I'm not online, knowing is all I need.
So thank you thank you thank you. I'm sorry you had to read through all my ramblings, but I figured, such a milestone deserved a long blog. Now I need to see if tv.com will let me post one of such size! J
I love you all so much, and I go through every day wishing that someday I will meet you all in real life. Someday.