I'm a loner alone with neurosis and hate
Anger is a permanent character trait
My letter bombs are primed and they're ready to send
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I'm a wound-up whiner with a fetish for guns
I'm almost fifty and I live with my mom
I hope my nude picture doesn't offend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Chorus:
Add me, add me,
Me mother says she wish she never had me
Add me, add me,
Would you like to add me as a friend?
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I'm a recovering alcoholic; I rarely leave my room,
Peeping through the curtains in my dark costume,
The voices in my head gonna get me in the end
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I really like to mail you the picture that I drew,
It's Kylie's body, but the head is you
I've asked you fifty times before I'm asking you again
Would you like to add me as a friend?

Chorus

Here's a picture of me in my Nazi uniform
Doing a trick with an egg that I like to perform
At a monster truck rally that my mom and me attend
Would you like to add me as a friend?

I've added Britney, and Paris, and you and Tom,
I'm gonna find your address so I can visit you at home,
I don't like people, but I like to pretend
Would you like to add me as a friend?