Well...anyways I said screw it with that hot guy and found another one but I feel really bad for not noticing him before. I was walking out of a restaurant with my sister and I looked over the parking lot into the back of a pickup truck. There were three people, two eating food and on sitting against the cab. I couldn't tell what he was holding but like, I was walking over there and I noticed even more of him. He had such long sexy looking brown hair with glasses. I seriously thought the glasses gave him a lot of character...I don't know how to explain it! So as I was walking by, I saw that this pointy thing said "ESP" on it and I'm like WOW he's playing a guitar in the back. It wasn't an acoustic so I couldn't hear but I'll finish up this part later. Anyways as him and I made eye contact, I felt so weird. It felt so awesome!

I felt super discouraged after that because he was probably so old and here I am sitting at fifteen years old. So as I'm sitting on the bus at the back (my usual spot) I was hoping to see some cute guys come on the bus and THERE HE IS! He goes to the same school as me! I studied him for a couple days. He's very shy and he has some european accent. I couldn't believe it when I heard him talk. His friend was talking to him about guitar and like from what I heard (YES i was eavesdropping!) they rock out to a lot of the music I like and like it's soooo sweet! I hope that I can make something happen but I'm so shy too. I have a feeling he's in the last year of high school so like, I'm a little down but would it be wrong for a 17 year old to date a 15 year old girl? I mean he is soooooooo cute and the way he walks, sits, and stares is so stunning. I seriously could mistake him for someone who's famous. I need help!!!! Any help you guys can give me is much much appreciated. Sorry about the bad grammar, I'm tired and excited right now. Uggggghhhhh!!!!!!! He's been on my mind for like two weeks now and I can't let him go but I'm too scared to say anything. HELP!!!!!

My older sister took me to see Paranormal Activity and like it's totally terrified me. I have never been this terrified before, I don't know how to explain it. I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight!!!

I don't know who else to say this to so I'll just post it here. If anyone can give me some advice I would be really happy. There was this extremely cute boy on the bus that goes to my school and he's two years older than me. He's like so hot and I have seriously grown really attached to him. Well anyways, today I built up the courage to talk to him while I was standing at the bus stop and when I got on the bus, he was sitting next to a girl with his hand on her leg. I am so discouraged right now, I feel so worthless. I can't even get a boyfriend. What should I do?