Absent a Forum to journey toward (fairly scarce here in SoCal, though we do have a coliseum), we'll just call these random travels:

Corporate Malfeasance (or, does the left hand know what the right is doing?) – CBS apparently hasn't kept their Watch! magazine columnists up-to-date with the company's recent acquisitions. Odd, since other parts of the August 2009 edition highlight several different sites that were part of the CNet purchase. Nominated for most clueless employee of the year with a symbolic demotion for mentioning TV.com's only real competition: Marianne O'Leary of the "Ask Mo" column (I have to admit, I got the most evil glee from this one):

Q: Guest star credits at the end of programs go by so fast. Is there someplace I can find out who played a character?
Mo: When I see a familiar face I can't quite place on my favorite programs, I'll try the Internet Movie Database (imdb.com). It lists not only all of the regular performers on a series along with their other credits, but also the same information for the guest stars for each episode.

Perhaps she should also lose a month's salary for wildly overstating reality.

Proof That Water/Talent Rises To Its Own Level – Miley Cyrus, yet another pop sensation with no rhythm or discernible musical talent, has inked a clothing deal with Walmart. Yes, Walmart. A corporation with a miserable history of mistreating its employees, obliteration of small businesses, and a feudal view of America where Walmart plays royalty despite its place at the bottom of the shopping hierarchy.

Best Forum Response Ever – "Dude, don't be gooey chocolate chip cookie."

You Did See Who Ordered, Yes? – I stopped at a Del Taco (think Taco Bell but with better beans and fries) on the way home from the airport the other night. When I got to the window the girl asked me if I wanted ketchup, but didn't ask about the hot sauce. I didn't worry about this, because usually, if they don't ask my preference, they just take one look at my pale gringo face and load me up with mild. I got home to find two handfuls of "Del Inferno" in the bag with my food. Now, I ask you, really?

I'm Not Sure How I Could Have Been Clearer – While checking out at the grocery store, the girl who was bagging my purchases asked whether I wanted paper or plastic. I asked for paper. Imagine my bemusement when she loaded my paper bags, each lovingly bagged in its own plastic bag, into my shopping cart.

Last, but Not Least – The New York Times had an amusing and clever editorial on the battle over the origin of haggis. The full article can be read here if you're interested (it will probably require a free registration), but I thought I'd share the final lines that recommend the best way to eat haggis. You gotta love a dish that requires hard liquor to mask its taste :

"Never heard of haggis? Never tasted it? Try it on your next visit to Scotland, or even England. It is best taken with mashed turnips, which, incidentally, were invented in Scotland, and with a shot of whisky. The whisky is to neutralize the taste of the haggis, and the turnips are there for health reasons. Highly recommended."

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Apparently we have a new, or newly stupid, staff journalist on board. A reviewer he should never become, and perhaps he ought to give up journalism altogether. Fox News might be looking to fill a spot, they don't seem to care about accuracy or relevancy.

Wait, the rant got ahead of the backstory, silly me.

I signed in yesterday and found that Adam Buckman had posted this recommendation for the Cleaner: The Cleaner Is a Big Downer

If you don't have the patience or inclination to read it, the upshot is that because he doesn't get warm fuzzies while watching the episodes he recommends staying away from the show.

I'm in no way stating that the Cleaner is the pinnacle of TV quality -- it's fair to middling at best -- but my reasons for saying so would not be that it didn't have a heartwarming ending (this would be a big old line of smilies rolling their eyes while watching Barney and Friends, probably Adam's most favoritist show ever). I've been to the A&E boards for this show, where real addicts are participating in the discussions. While it may not appeal to Adam's simplistic view of television, it does have an audience, and dismissing them as "downers" is also a little simplistic.

So here are a few thoughts for Adam, may he rot in a journalistic circle of hell where he must rewrite the same tabloid story about Jon & Kate over and over again:

1. Please consider limiting your viewing to things you understand and can emotionally handle. Teletubbies and Pee Wee's Playhouse come to mind. I'd suggest I Love Lucy, but she cries in almost every episode, and that'd probably leave you suicidal.

2. Maybe you thought this was a safe bet for an easy piece: cable show, low rated, no fan boy response. It still doesn't excuse laziness. You made no attempt to thoughtfully review the show as a whole, and your sole comment on the two episodes (I guess) you viewed is that because people are sick beyond their addictions it's an even worse show than it was last season.

Just in case you weren't aware, drug use and alcoholism lead to a number of comorbid conditions: Hep C, various cancers, AIDS, kidney failure, etc. This is actually a valid story arc. Not that you care about the facts or verity in the script, apparently, just that it didn't make you feel good. If you want to see true idiocy in medicine, check out HawthoRNe. You'll like that. All the histrionics you could wish for, ridiculous stereotypes, and a heartwarming ending every week. Just your speed.

3. You do realize this is a CBS Studios co-production, right? Talk about biting the hand that feeds you for no good reason.

4. Next time, could you pass your assignment on to Tim Surette? He's a better writer, does his homework, can snark like no one's business... you know, he does his job and adds a little flair.

Okay, I'm breaking my usual practice of waiting anywhere from 3-9 months before bestirring myself to a new blog, but (my) needs must.

The women's rights/abuse card needs to be used only when there's truly been an injury, in my opinion. Heidi Pratt, smarting from her interview with Al Roker (and aren't she and Spencer so mature to denigrate Roker as "the weatherman"), lashed out that she "was shocked at how rude he was, and I was crying afterwards because I couldn't believe I felt personally attacked. I wanted to say to him, 'Do you feel proud of how you're talking to me right now? I'm just a young woman and you're coming at me so aggressively and meanly and mean-spirited.'" Not content with the victim card, she decided to portray him as a predator, "I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all."

Just to be clear, this is because he pressed her on whether she was proud of her behavior on I'm a Celebrity … Get Me out of Here!, pointedly restating the question when she tried to blow it off. He also asked them if they thought they acted as Christians should (quite honestly, I'm not sure they understand what this word means. Baldwin, unlike real pastors, didn't actually do any quality Bible studies with them, he just notched another mark on his conversion bedpost). It's only fair to point out that Roker has been equally childish post-interview via Twitter, but he isn't playing the sex card -- at least as far as I can tell. You can see the full interview here: http://www.tvguide.com/News/Heidi-Pratt-Al-1006892.aspx

What I find so offensive about this, aside from "Speidi"'s very existence using up my oxygen and other valuable earth resources, is the cheapening of the words and concepts. Heidi was never in danger of assault – physical, sexual or psychological. Hurt feelings or frustration that the interview didn't go your way are not the bedrock components of abuse. Ask anyone who's been abused and they'll tell you this.

So here's my plea. No matter how angry you are or how much publicity your ego needs to consume for validation, please choose your hyperbole carefully. Do not play the "abuse" card just for the heck of it, or because your divorce attorney or publicist says it's the best way to win. Don't call your husband, wife, child's teacher or late night talk show host a pedophile unless you know it's true. Do not hand defense lawyers the "eye-roll strategy" because you've sapped the words of all horror and meaning by your frivolent usage.[/rant]

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest :-) .