So Rayman. A armless, legless, neckless hero of sorts. Remember playing "Rayman" on the Playstation? Remember how brilliant it was? Remember how great the feeling was when you reached that ! signpost at the end of a really tough level? Remember how freakin' awesome the Moskito level was? I do. It was a great game which I played over many a morning back when I was 10 years old, in the hour before school, and then continued to play when it was re-released on the GBA.

Look at it. Don't you just want to play right this very minute?

So, Ubisoft had made a game that had sold 10 million copies on the PlayStation (making it the best selling PS1 game ever). This provided Ubisoft "with the financial foundations it needed to become a major games publisher." according to Wikipedia. So it seemed logical that Rayman would have a sequel. And it did.

Inventively called Rayman 2: The Great Escape (although, I don't remember doing much escaping, it was more of a rebellion, but I guess Rayman 2: The Great Rebellion sounds a bit weird), it took Rayman into the third dimension and for no apparent reason, replaced his ability to punch with this bizzaro orb firing power. I never really got that. Anyway, Rayman 2 wasn't bad. The story line was okay(ish), the gameplay was fairly consistent, and it mixed platforming with combat well. By today's standards, the graphics are poor, but in the context, it was pretty good.

As it goes, this is what a regular Friday night looks like in Essex

Personally, I didn't enjoy Rayman 2 that much. I was expecting more of the original, but in 3D. But I could live with it, becuase it had pirates, and ninjas. Fair game really. But then Ubisoft buggered it up. They made a third game.

Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc. I could just sit here for an hour pointing out how this game doesn't deserve to be considered a Rayman game, but I feel sorry for it, truly I do. I'm looking at the box right now, and I feel geniune sorrow for it. Okay, so I previously mentioned how in Rayman 2, he couldn't throw his fists anymore, so they gave him the orb-shooting ability. Well, in Rayman 3, they brought back the fists (with some stupid curving ability, which made the tutorial three times as long as it should have been, thank you very much). But what confused me is that they gave Rayman a grappling hook ability. Right. So a guy with no limbs, who can evidentally throw his fists to grapple on to things needs a grappling hook. Oh sorry not hook, claw. It's a claw. This along with weird costumes, and a story which makes Rayman 2 look like Shakespeare, made Rayman 3 a craptastic journey. All that said, I did play it on PC, which could explain it.

"Ubisoft, no! You're destroying my franchise!"

So, three games, on a sliding scale, from awesome to fair to sad. Then nothing happened for a while and things just got remade and re-released. Then someone at Ubisoft decided they should bring back Rayman. So they did. And several things happened.

When the Wii launch line up was first announced, the game "Rayman Raving Rabbids" was announced as a new platformer game, in which Rayman's world would be invaded by, unsurprisingly, rabbits, and it would down to him to fight back, save the world, etcetera. The intial screenshots showed Rayman fighting the rabbits, with the player using the Remote and Nunchuck to control his fists. There were also images of Rayman riding huge creates to help destroy the Rabbits. My first impression of this was "meh". After Rayman 3, I was disheartened, and what with this games story seemeing to have little to do with the other games, I filed it as a "get a few months after release as a "2 for £10" deal". So when the announcement came that the game would be minigame based instead, I wasn't really that bothered. However, several months after the Wii had launched, and I was bored of my current collection of games, I borrowed RRR off of a mate, and played it through to the end.

Remember this part of the game? No I didn't think so...

It wasn't bad. It wasn't good but it wasn't bad. The plunger sections... they were weird. Some minigames just didn't work at all. Others were a good laugh. But this is avoiding the point. Rayman had been shattered as a platformer game. It had become a WarioWare type of game, without the frantic-ness. There was no story line, and the end bit was anti-climatic. It annoyed me. A lot. I still have a lot of respect for the original Rayman game, but RRR seemed like a kick to the face of Michael Ancel.

And now it is now. Today. There was a sequel to RRR, which I haven't played but apparently involves even less Rayman. And now a new Rabbids game is coming out, where they have taken over a TV station and the minigames are based on TV shows... I've got the preview here in my hand, and the magazine actually describes it as "the Rabbids third outing". Apart from the title, it doesn't actually mention Rayman once. It's essentially a hostile takeover. It wouldn't surprise me if the next game didn't even feature Rayman in the title.

In my opinion, Ubisoft need to make a decision. Say that Rabbids games are their own franchise, and then bring back Rayman, in a separate game. I envisaged a side-scrolling game, with a visual ****similar to that of LostWinds, with the game play being the same as that of the original. Sure, it wouldn't be realistic, but neither are rabbits that have plungers.

But until then, Rayman shall remain locked away, in a rather ironic metaphor. Maybe Ubisoft will listen, and bring him back. Maybe not.

You know, those rabbits are weird though. It's probably because they're French. They always stick their hands up in the air, i.e. SURRENDERING! And "BWAAAA!" is probably French for "I want some garlic and onions!"

There we go. I had to save the French-bashing for the end.

Thank you all. Stay awesome.