I promise that I'm going to try and not get too angry.

I promise that I'm going to try and not end up typing in all caps.

I promise that I'm going to try and not get modded.

Now... with all that said, let me just say that people behind "technological advances" are complete and total morons. These people make George W Bush look like a Nobel Prize Physicist. My dog leaves a stronger collection of intelligent life in huge piles in the yard. The stuff I clean out of my drain could score higher on the SAT's.

My girlfriend is a finalist for a movie role. In order for her to be able to do the real audition or "screen test" process from our little corner of the world we had to shoot a scene from the scrpt and send it to the production company.

On Friday night, we went and got the JVC Everio HD camcorder. We did some research and it had all of the features that we were looking for as well as some extra ones that were cool and it was right in our price range.

Keep in mind this one key part of the story as I continue... the box said that included in the package along with the camera, cables, battery, etc were the words "Includes Conversion Software". Got it? That's important.

So we take the camera home and shot just random stuff. The dogs, the kids, we both took it to work we had a good time with it.

Yesterday we were both off so we decided to shoot her scene yesterday and with my film editing experience I figured that I'd end up staying up a little later than usual but I'd get her audition edited, encoded and sent by this morning.

OH, HOW I WAS FREAKIN' WRONG!

So we shoot all the shots that we needed and I transfer them from the camera to my hard drive. (This process took more than an hour.)

After the clips were transfered I decided to open my PROFESSIONAL digital editing software. This software was expensive even at the price I got it at. What makes it great is that it updates itself with patches, codecs, and occassionally even free effects. You figure that something this expensive and hardcore shouldn't have a problem opening the file format from a mainstream HD camcorder.

WRONG AGAIN!

For some reason JVC uses a "god forsaken, orphan of a proprietary format" (actual quote from somone else who came about the same problem as I did) this format is so odd and proprietary that even a PROFESSIONAL digital editing suite cannot open the files. Ruh, roh, Raggy.

So the next solution is to just install the software tha came with it and convert more than 4 gigs of clips into a format that "is compatible with most digital film editing software". So, once again, I figured that these formats might not work with someone as pedestrian as Windows Movie Maker but a PROFRESSIONAL editing suite should not be a problem.

STRIKE THREE!

After installing the software the software (another 30 minutes) I start to convert the files. Figuring that the software would work I just set the task manager to convert every single file that I had shot figuring it would take a while but once done I could just plug them into the editor and start cutting away.

0-4 BIG GUY!

So after almost 3 hours of converting and my whole rig almost bursting into flames the computer lets me know the files are done being converted, or at least I think that's what the computer's going to tell me. Keep in mind, it's almost 1am at this point. The computer instead tries to tell me that the files are all corrupted and were unable to be converted.

At this point I'm really about to start throwing and breaking things. So, I head back to the internet and discover that the conversion software doesn't work and that LOADS of people have encountered the exact same problem. My solution is going to come in the form of an internet download that converts this horrific proprietary format into something usable by, you know, the people who would buy this camera.

So I download the software and start converting the files and they're successful! Yay, something finally going my way. Then I open the files and apparently since I didn't spend the $30 on this software that I'm sure is created by a JVC offshoot just to get more of my money, there is a HUGE freaking water mark right in the middle of the shot. Not like Fraps where its at the top and while you notice it, it doesn't take away from your work, this thing completely ruins your footage.

How is this a trial version? Its a sabotaged version. Like I said, with Fraps the watermark doesn't look uber-professional but it doesn't keep anyone from trying out the software. What I got was more of a sample. "Here look this software works, too bad it won't work in any sensible way until you shell out more loot, jackass!"

So now, I'm at the end up my wits, I basically have to pay for software that was supposed to come with my camera and make the process infinitely longer because JVC decided to use a whack format and bundle it with broken software. (To this point there is no patch or reissue of the software from JVC.)

Thanks, JVC, I swear to Atheos himself, that I will make it my life's work to make sure that no one who ever comes within 100 yards of me for the duration of my life does not buy a JVC product. You are morons.

Laughlyn