Last night I dreamed that my husband was with me. I don’t really remember the dream but he was there like he had never left. He has been gone for over 5 years now and life goes on. Perhaps I dreamed of him because out daughter will soon turn 6 and will be going into Kindergarten. It’s an exciting time for her and she has so many questions about her Daddy. She makes up stories of things that they did together or she will say that her Daddy told her something. I try not to correct her too much as I feel this is a way for her to feel close to him. I remember last year when we went to visit his grave, my daughter said she “had water coming out of her eyes”. I suppose that we all have crosses to bear, and like my husband use to say “You get your hard knocks whether you’re young or your older, they will still come. You can learn from them and grow or ignore them and get beat down”. I hope that all my children don’t have to take too many hard knocks before they learn. Perhaps the dream was just reminder to stand firm and everything will be okay. He was a good husband and I’m glad we had the time together that we did. We were together 20 years and we had never separated. I think one of the worse things about the death of a spouse is the plans and dreams that you had for the future are gone. There is no one to talk to about what happen that day or what shall we do this weekend. No one to help share the burden.

I know this is a sad post but some days are that way. I don’t have many days like this fortunately  I’m going to try and apply for a job as director at the local library. I didn’t finish my degree in Library Science since I got pregnant while in college and then my husband passed away. But I feel I should try; I have some experience anyway. And if I don’t apply I definitely won’t get it And after all, this was one of our dreams.