And my mama said
There's much weight you will lift
And my mama said
Leave those bad boys alone
And my mama said
Be home before the dawn
And my mama said
You can be rich or poor
But my mama said
You can be big or small

But I'm always on the run

My mama said
That it's good to be fruitful
But my mama said
Don't take more than a mouthful
And my mama said
That it's good to be natural
And my mama said
That it's good to be factual

But I'm always on the run

My mama said
Baby don't ride that crazy horse
And my mama said
You must push with much force
And my mama said
Go get all that you're after
And my mama said
That love's all that matters
"

That was written by Lenny Kravitz in 1991. After the first time I heard it, in 1991 I wondered for a very longtime if this was information that every mother imparted to their children. Mine did. Each and every line was said by my mama at one time or another from the time I can remember until she died. for you younguns go here and check out My Kravitz. I heard that on the radio today and it brought a huge smile to my face.

So at 40 years old and not having heard this song in probably 14 years I heard it today as I was aimlessly cruising, contemplating some home stuff, some work stuff and some general life stuff.

So, stuff I have been banging around in my head for days now was just resolved in under 4 minutes by Lenny Kravitz and my mama.

My mama said "baby don't ride that crazy horse" which I finally get. She wasn't talking about my actual horse who is crazy by the way, she was talking about my pre-disposition to try and do everything to the point of distraction.

And my mama said" you must push, with much force" I went to work and did that as soon as this song was over in the car.

And my mama said "go get all that your after" Did that too, at the same time.

And my mama said "love is all that matters" Well, jury is still out on that one mom, but I'm willing to take your word for it for now.

thanks mom, oh and Mr. Kravitz

Hi everybody. Remember that I told you there were going to be periods when I would not be on a lot. I'm sorry, last week was one of those weeks. My boss was kind enough to have internet installed on my office computer, and I have even signed on a couple of times, but haven't had time to blog. It has however been an interesting week, and I have lots to talk about.

I am posting this blog as a public service. Anyone who is considering working in a Kitchen for whatever reason needs to take notes.

I finally have my Kitchen and crew back exactly the way I want it. Most things remained constant in my absence, but a few things had changed a little. One of those things was the wait staff. I did not hire any of the servers that are there presently, except for Angie. Angie and Kate and Laci are the only ones left of the originals, and only Angie and Laci understand the way things are supposed to work. The rest of the servers are a breed of upstarts that have very obviously never worked in a real restaurant, because they have no understanding of the way things are supposed to work. The servers do not get the minimum wage or less that is normal in most establishments, we can and do pay them well. They make $8.50 an hour plus tips. In a good week, tips can be upwards of 1500 dollars per server. When we do large parties it is more.

Angie, Kate and Laci were ecstatic to see me return. I have a horrible temperament, but I look after my servers. I don't allow the customers to ride roughshod over them like they are some lesser ****of being. the other servers were not so happy to see me. They had heard all the tales of what a perfectionist I am, what a bear I am to work for and that I expect nothing but the best while I am working. THE chef before me was a man, was having a midlife crisis and had young, attractive servers to hang out with, day and night. Bottom line, the servers had him where they wanted him and they were very happy to keep it that way. They had not had to tip out the kitchen in several years, and they were all very down with that.

The end of my second week, Ange, Kate, and Laci dutifully came to the kitchen and very happily forked over the 10percent cut of their tips that we had agreed upon before I left the first time. "is this enough chef?" Laci asked me, completely seriously. I smiled the gentle smile I save just for Laci. She is such a sweet girl. She is like a little kid sometimes. "Sure is Lace" I said. While I was gone, the tips went down A lot. By the end of the first week, tips were up 70 percent. The reason is food was once again fantastic, well presented, and fast. Angies tips on a four day week were just under 1200 dollars. Laci had 900 in tips and Kate brought up the rear with 600. So that was 270 to me. So far. "Um, Kelly" Ange said in a tone that told me what was coming next. "the other girls aren't going to tip out the kitchen." "They said they didn't have to tip out the other chef so they aren't going to tip you out" I nodded and smiled a smile that made Angie flinch. "Don't worry about it Ange" I said. "I promise by next week they will. If they don't I won't take yours next week either ok?" Angie smiled back at me, because she was not a big fan of some of the other servers either. I gave my sous and my two prep cooks their cuts of the tipout and went about my business.

We had a very busy weekend service that weekend. Two of the girls that did not tip out the Kitchen were working with Angie and Laci. I walked into my kitchen and announced to the boys that we were going to have a round of waitress games. My sous smiled his evil little smile at me, and both my line preps looked at me with quizzical expressions. I quickly explained the rules and we waited for chits to start coming in. First chit was Ange. Apps went out in record time, because that is part of the game. Second chit was one of the evil ones and right on its tail was a Laci Chit. My sous quickly rearranged them on the chit board and we got Laci out her apps. Ange had another order come in, so miss evil got bumped again. Ange got her apps, laci got her mains and we decided to start tending to little miss evil. Evil number 2 came in and my sous misplaced that one for about 5 minutes. Evil number 1 came back to see what was going on with her apps and was unceremoniously tossed out of the kitchen. Ange came back to pick up some mains and was snickering all the way out the door. Evil number 2's apps were wrong when they went out. Evil number 1 I guess didn't hear me when I told her the plate was hot. The fact that I had one of the preps put it in the oven for 5 minutes had nothing to do with her not hearing me. Laci came back and while picking up some desserts burst out laughing. She told me Ange had filled her in on why my perfectly run kitchen was acting all broken all of a sudden. I nodded and told her to carry on. This went on for about half the service. Evil number 1 came back with the most disgusted look on her face I have ever seen on a human being. She asked if she could speak to me in my office for a moment. I said I would be there as soon as I got these chits out. She waited. When I got in there, she handed me $100 . "What is this" I asked? It's my tip out from last week she said through clenched teeth. " I thought you weren't going to tip the kitchen out?" I said. She couldn't take it any more and snapped. "Well, she said, I don't see where I really have any choice if I want to make any money here" "oh, I said sarcastically, tips down a little?" She wanted to slap me so bad I could see it on her face. "how can they not be with the way you are acting" she said. "Exactly right" I said. "get this into you, and get it in real good. I run the show. I decide who's food goes out when, if it goes out at all, and I make the schedule" If you don't like it, turn in your uniform and buh byes. There are literally a couple of hundred servers that would fight each other gladiator ****for a job here" She knew she was beaten, but she was still mad. She turned to say something else and I raised my hand to silence her. "By the way" I said, I go through all the chits and I have a good idea of what he tips should be, so I don't recommend holding a portion of them back." WIth that she stomped out. Her food miraculously started going out after that. It took number 2 a few more hours to catch on, but by the end of the night I had both their tip outs from the previous week.

Server games continued with the others until they were all back in line.

I got both The Force Unleashed and The new Viva Pinata and did get as far as taking the wrappers off. Christopher has been having a good time playing them. I am booked off next weekend, so I may actually be able to play something. WooHoo.

Hope you are all well and really hope I can get on here a little more regularly this week.

Because it is important to keep order on GS and because Jbul has made another I hate blog, I thought I better throw this one up and re-balance things.

Waiting on the phone. I dial a number. Some recording tells me to press 1 to continue in English. I press 1. Then it says press 2 if I want my call recorded for quality assurance purposes. I then have 17 options. The first one is always for self serve help press 1 the last option is if you forget what your first 16 options were press 0 and you can hear the whole spiel all over again. I ultimately have to press 0. Option 7 is customer support. I now have 46 and 1/3 more options. I start pounding randomly on keys on the phone and eventually I either disconnect myself and have to start over, or I hit the magic button combo just like on god of war and I get to go directly to mount Olympus er customer service. Why I love waiting on the phone: It is excellent finger exercise and the 17 hours I am on hold is a good time to think about other stuff that I love waiting for.

waiting for my darling, wonderful, special, awesome, fantastic, glorious husband to get home. The phone rings and its him. Hi hon, be home as soon as I do one more thing at the shop. "no you won't you lying sack of **** I say (but very lovingly). "yes I will" he says. "NO, you won't" I say. THis goes on for about 10 minutes while I stare longingly at my browning and wonder if I could possibly get away with an insanity defence. FInally I humour him. OK hunnyyyyyyy, see you soooooooon. "Ok" he says," but don't leave to go (insert really cool place here) because I will be right home." Bastard gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Why I love waiting for my husband: Because I almost have the entire insanity defense worked out and he is the one that afforded me the time to do that.....Bwahahahaha!!!!

I love waiting on tables.......OK, I don't actually do that, but I totally love waiting for the wait staff to wait on tables. Today was no exception. My favorite server Angie, brought back an order today. Angie is a veteran of this business and my temperament. Nothing fazes ange. "Ange has that look that I have come to read as "we have another food tv junkie that thinks they are a food critic out front" Starter was the very exquisite cream of butternut squash soup. Please read CREAM OF BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP. Ange took out the soup and came back it 2 minutes. She is laughing hysterically (it's been one of those days) "The cream soup is to creamy chef" she says. Now, even I did a double take at that one. "huh" was my brilliant response. Ange nodded her head emphatically. "yup, she said "too creamy" Well, I said, isn't that special. Please take me to meet this amazing palate. Why I love waiting for the wait staff to wait tables: Because every once in a while if I am patient, some dodo bird comes along that would not know haute cuisine if it jumped up and bite them on the arse. Then I get to go out front of house and suggest something a little more to their palates liking. A nice broth perhaps, or maybe I could send Ange around the corner to the store for a can of Cambells chicken noodle. Yes I actually did say that and yes, it made my day. I LOVE that.