Today was a LONG day at work. I have to admit that I was watching the clock from the very first moment. Thus, it seemed the hands of the clock weren't moving, so that wasn't helping at ALL.

Not that I wanted to leave work, mind you. But I was watching the clock to see what time my next victim was clocking in.

Yes, April 1st is MY holiday. And I celebrated it in full glory this year.

In no particular order...

Our manager is pretty lenient on people clocking in "late". As long as the person has an isolated assignment, such as Cake Decorator, and don't abuse it, they came come and go as they please. In his opinion, it's important that they get the work done right, but not the exact moment of the day. (Note to the idiot bagboy who's YET to come even close to arriving on time. That doesn't apply to those us on the front end. Somebody's waiting on us to get there so they can take a break or go home. LEARN TO TELL TIME, FOR @#$%'S SAKE!!!)

Sorry about that. I guess I've been watching to much Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares. Where was I?

Oh yeah.

To dairy clerk as he walks in, obviously still half-asleep. "Where have you been?!!! The yogurt case went out. The manager and department head have been loading product into bascarts and putting it in the cooler for the last thirty minutes. They're LIVID that your not here yet." That's adaptable to just about any department in the store.

Fun variation with front end employees who NEVER work the same shifts two days in a row. "What are you doing here? I thought you were off today." The major enjoyment from this one comes from the fact the employee walks all the way to the breakroom in the back of the store to check their schedule, and then has to walk all the way BACK to the front so they can clock in.

To opening office clerk as she walks in. "I'm having to check in the night checker's till because the CAST is offline." Gotta explain this one. I've no idea what C.A.S.T. stands for, but all checklane tills are controlled by this system. Nothing goes in or out of the safe unless it's been thru it. "And we can't get U-Scan open. It's giving us an unknown transmission error. Oh, and the second checker (due to clock in NOW) called in sick." I admit I ruined this prank by laughing when she did a U-turn without breaking stride.

This one took some timing. The set up required me to be coming back from a smoke break, and for the checklanes to be backed up DEEP. And for the victim to have been away from her car for several hours. "You drive (whatever the @#$% it was), don't you? I think you left your lights on." I swear I've never seen her check so fast in my life!!!

But the two highlights of the day...

To employee who recently transferred from another store. "You didn't park your car in the parking lot did you? Today?!!! Don't you realize what today is?!!! Good Lord, you NEVER leave your car in the parking lot on April Fool's Day. There's people in this store who @#$%ing LIVE for the opportunity to get away with messing with other employee's cars today. They'll let the air out of your tires, unplug all your spark plugs, or something to totally destroy your day. Call your husband and tell him you're coming home on break and he'll have to bring you to back to work. Tell you what, I'll watch U-Scan so you can hide your car until you can take it home." After she had parked her car WWWAAAYYY at the opposite end of the shopping center, she called her husband. I walked up to her while she was on the phone, and said "Uh... I TOLD you it was April Fool's Day, and that didn't provide any clue at all?"

(You have to love an practical joke that works because you specifically warn them they're being punked.)

I've saved the best for last. I didn't plan it. I was just smarting off to the boss, and pulled the what may just be one of the funniest April Fool's joke of all time.

All of our check lanes have a globe above the check lanes. Customers know that a lit globe means the check lane is open. This is important because cashiers sometimes have to step away from their stations, but our customers know to go ahead and unload groceries; the cashier will be right back.

Now that the set-up's out of the way...

I'd forgotten to flip the switch and the light wasn't on, even though I was already checking. The manager walked by and told me to turn the station light on. I turned to him and said "I tried to. But when I flipped the switch, the light went off. Flipping it the other way turn the light on. I think somebody wired this station up wrong."

I noticed the other cashier and his customer completely stopped what they were doing when the manager said "Oh. I'll call maintenance and get that fixed."

I actually had to say "Think about what I just said." before he remembered what day it was.

Something tell's me, next year when I ask for an extra day off so I can take a long weekend, THEY'LL LET ME !!!