I think everything in my life is going to come full circle this year

My life is a huge mess my mom is always upset and criticizing me my brother is always rude and very unfriendly to me and were brothers although I wish we weren't. I am always under fire and being pursued by girls who I dont like and don't have feelings for and I have a girlfriend who I just don't talk to enough thats why I have been trying to get a goddamn cellphone for almost 3 years now I may only be one shy of a fortyear but I still need someone to talk to besides my mom and my dad. My brother is out of control and on a rampage that is skyrocketing at an evergrowing rate and I just dont know what to do I cant hurt my brother because then I become under fire by my parents and I get yelled at and the funny thing is that matt does not get into trouble for doing this. My mom just continues to allow my brother to be rude and make me be good just so I could be an example to him and he doesn't want to listen anyways. My brother is so ignorant and so enveloped in his own bulls**t that he doesn't realize he's hurting the people who love him very much but me. I wouldn't give a f**k if my brother get's killed he can do all the stuff he wants but there will be a day when someone is better and bigger than him and beats the crap out of him or just scares him to death so badly that he behaves better. My brother deserves a rude awakening like I had one a long long time ago and it should be coming soon. My brother needs a wakeup call like me so he can turn his life around like I did and stop being the a**h*** that he is.