This is far and away the worst third installment of any series ever. This movie was overdone and convoluted. The fact that the Venom story was tacked is almost sad, they didn't need three villains, four if you count the impossible building...
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This is far and away the worst third installment of any series ever. This movie was overdone and convoluted. The fact that the Venom story was tacked is almost sad, they didn't need three villains, four if you count the impossible building smashing 'runaway' crane.

They could have taken any one of the story elements and made a decent movie, but instead, they tried to pack as much as possible into the the 'final installment.'

The reasons for this are pretty simple. Sam Raimi wanted Sandman, he couldn't do without him. At the same time, he was under pressure to add Venom, because that's where the people wanted it to go, you can't do a series of Spider-Man movies without Venom. And finally, in the previous chapters, we had seen all the foreshadowing for the 'new goblin,' and it would be wrong not to include that bit of story. Of course, it also helps that it gave them a lot more toys to work with. No one 'really' wants an Aunt May toy, or a 'Uncle Ben's Corpse' toy. The other problem with the movie was that they needed to explain everything within the confines of the story. Did we really need to see Sandman get his powers? I couldn't help but laugh at the oddly specific sign on the fence he scaled: "Danger: Particle Testing Facility". And why is it that whenever anyone gains a super power, it involves a machine with bright lights and spinning?

The symbiont suit (that becomes Venom) falls from the sky and Peter finds it and wears it. He takes a sample to his Physics professor (the one armed man that would become The Lizard or whatever). The man, who's not even a biologist, looks at it through a microscope for a few seconds and nails it's description on the head. "I'm just a physics professor, but I think this is a symbiont." As Peter falls victim to the suits powers, he becomes a bad boy. This basically means he strut walks around town to bad 70's porno music looking like the lead singer of Fall Out Boy. At one point the Professor calls him up, and his tell him that the suit must amplify aggression (his reference is a microscope screen where a molecule seems to be playing Pong with other molecules), Peter ignores him while playing badboy with the Russian Girl that lives next door. The worst thing he can do? He asks if she has nuts and tells her to make him cookies with nuts. Venom. Wow. What a joke. I was worried about Topher Grace when they announced it, and I was right. The comic had Venom as a big ass crazed lunatic. The movie had him as a moronic photographer. His motivation for being angry with Spidey? He stole the girlfriend he never had... or perhaps it was because he got shown up as a hack at work and lost his job. I couldn't really tell. Marko (Sandman) it is discovered, is actually the one that killed Peter's uncle Ben, and Peter and Aunt May are brought in to the station for this revelation. The information is given to them by the Cheif of Police himself. They make it seem like this thing is still being heavily investigated. Here's the problem. They say that Marko actually bragged about this crime to a cell mate. But all throughout we are supposed to see him as this tragic villian. He's stealing money to save his daughter's life... she seems to be sick, though we don't know why. In the end, he says it was an accident (he and Peter have a nice cry over it). Why would someone so morose over this crime 'brag about it', let alone tell anyone?

Next, there's a whole bit where Osborne feels the need to go after Spidey yet again, first component of his evil plan? He's going to force Mary-Jane to break up with him. We don't really understand her motivation in doing it, but he sits by and watches it happen in the park while sitting under the tree. I expected him to say "excellent" like some sort of Hanna-Barbera villian, perhaps stroking his massive handle bar mustache. Then Osborne invites Peter out to coffee to tell him that 'he's' the other guy, because what MJ said totally played into his scheme. The final battle finds Spidey facing Venom and Sandman. We don't understand why Marko and Brock actualy teamed up in the first place. But, Osborne comes to back up Spidey (after Spidey blew him up with one of his own bombs. The reason Osborne comes to help Peter is that the butler, a forensic scientist apparently, says that he cleaned his father's wounds and they could only have come from his glider, so Spidey didn't kill him. Of course, that bit of information should probably have been revealed two movies ago). When Spidey defeats Venom using a bomb (one that had merely burned Osborne's face earlier, but this time went off with near Nuclear force), Marko is on hand to have a quick cry with peter before 'flowing off' into the sunset. It's never clear why Marko worked with Venom when he's really just a good guy trapped in a bad guy's body. The entire thing could have been about an hour and a half shorter without all the pointless exposition. Every few minutes Peter or MJ are crying about something. I get that they want to make Peter the everyman hero, a guy with real emotions, but he weeps throughout the entire film as though he'd just skinned his knee.

This is a tragic example of what happens when movie makers go too far. I would gladly have gone to a fourth movie, and possibly fifth as well, had they done all three of the movies this was correctly. I don't recommend anyone waste their time with this. Of course, it's too late, about 80% of the population already has.

This film was a very pleasant surprise. I didn't go into it with a lot of high hopes, which I think helps. It's written / directed by, and stars pretty much nobody. But, don't let that stop you from enjoying this one. Penny is a young woman who,...
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This film was a very pleasant surprise. I didn't go into it with a lot of high hopes, which I think helps. It's written / directed by, and stars pretty much nobody. But, don't let that stop you from enjoying this one. Penny is a young woman who, after a traumatic car accident as a girl that resulted in the death of her parents in front of her, has developed a phobia of cars. After long term treatment with a renowned therapist, she takes the final step, a long road trip, to help her over come her fear. During the trip, they literally run into a hitchhiker, and then Penny's nightmares become reality. I think that, all things considered, this one is done skillfully. There's not a lot of acting from anyone but Penny (Rachel Miner, who might recognize as she's been in an episode of almost everything on television in the last few years), but she pulls it off. There's a good deal of sheer terror that she accomplishes with a skill not often seen in this level of film. The cinematography is great, the cuts aren't forced or unnecessary as you sometimes see in these things. There's an excellent mix of unknown fear and visual shock as well. Overall, I have to give a good rating, if you're a horror fan, don't let this one slip by. It's failings are easily overlooked to make this one worth your time.

Having read this book, as well as several of Dekker's other works and enjoyed them, though this not has much has the Circle Trilogy, and, not being a Christian, I still have to say it was pretty good. The story itself doesn't exactly forge a new...
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Having read this book, as well as several of Dekker's other works and enjoyed them, though this not has much has the Circle Trilogy, and, not being a Christian, I still have to say it was pretty good. The story itself doesn't exactly forge a new trail, thought it tries hard to be something clever. It doesn't exactly accomplish this goal, not entirely. The clues throughout are not exactly well hidden, and I'll admit that there's a great deal of difference in terms of subtlety between the book and the film, the latter having a good bit less. The acting in the film is less than stellar, but, I've certainly seen much worse. Much of the dialog seems forced, from all involved.

The cinematography was pretty good, but the special effects were pretty weak. There were a few moments that you see and you think, wow, there's where the budget went. But otherwise, it's pretty subpar. All in all, it's a fairly decent adaptation, but it's definitely nothing spectacular.

Amazing! Spectacular! Astounding!

Wow!

I went into this thing with high expectations, and it did not disappoint. The greatest component of the whole thing was the attention to the details of the 70's style Grindhouse...
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Amazing! Spectacular! Astounding!

Wow!

I went into this thing with high expectations, and it did not disappoint. The greatest component of the whole thing was the attention to the details of the 70's style Grindhouse films. If you saw Kill Bill, you'll recall some of the things that Tarantino did there that harked back to the old days. This time around, there was more of that. The pops and scratches that seemed to last throughout, the skipping and repeating sound... it made to create a very realistic experience.

First, the 'fake' trailers. There were a few from various directors. They were all great. The first was Machette, which happened before the first movie, was hilarious. It had gore, nudity, and a hilarious concept, which is based on Rodriguez's use of Danny Trejo for characters that always have knife based names. The idea is that it's a Mexican federali who poses as a day laborer and gets hired for a hit job. He's double crossed and goes after the people that hired him. It's hilarious, and it's been announced that they will produce it as a direct to DVD film, since they had enough footage just from making the trailer that it only made sense.


The rest of the trailers were in the middle. The one I had been most looking forward to was Werewolf Women in the S.S. by Rob Zombie. The title pretty clearly defined the concept. But, it's a sight to behold. The best part was that after all the dark and gritty shots of naked nazi babes killing people and turning into werewolves, thy then cut to Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu... hilarity at it's finest.

Don't followed this, and it was just funny... I can't even describe it. Edgar Wright, of Shaun of the Dead, directed the trailer, and it basically just says "If you're blah blah blah that house... Don't" and after awhile, the direction is dropped and the word Don't is repeated over and over, until it's flashed as the title of the film.

Eli Roth presents and Eli Roth production of Eli Roth's Thanksgiving. This trailer was apparently actually going to be a movie, until Grindhouse came around and Eli Roth said to his friend, who plays the psychotic pilgrim on a murderous rampage in Massachusetts, "Dude, guess what, we don't have to make the movie, we can just shoot the best parts." It's about Jordan Ladd, a psycho kid who goes to a mental institution after killing his family over his father's murder of his beloved turkey. He comes back to exact his revenge... It's wrong, on so many levels.

Now, on to the films themselves. Planet Terror is Rodriguez's entry, and while I expected to like Tarantino's entry more, I think I preferred this one. It was just so awful, which is what you'd expect. I throughout almost the entire thing, as the horrible quick cuts and terrible dialog let loose on a story that seems to wander around so much over the multitude of characters.

Deathproof, on the other hand seems more like two 30 minute movies that are just tacked together. Following one group that gets killed by Stunt Man Mike, who uses his death proof stunt car to exact some sort of strange murderous plot against girls he's taken a fancy too. In the second half of the film, we lose Mike for a while and follow another group for while and learn of their lives, when Mike comes back, he learns that he's messed with the wrong ladies. The stunts are just plain fun to watch.

The whole of the this results in a great block of movie joy. I can't imagine not seeing this in the theater. It's just good clean wholesome fun! Theres guns, blood, guts, gore, nudity, campy and silly dialog, poorly written story.

These guys have really hit on a concept that has long been needed. Recalling the classic movies of days gone past. Days when people went to the theater to see a movie, not because of the 3 billion dollar budget, but because it was filled with blood and guts, thrills and chills.

I can't wait for the sequel.

Horror is a genre renowned for it's consistant regurgitation of plot devices. The Hills Have Eyes certainly doesn't break new ground. However, it's a semi-different take on powerful mutant inbred man-beasts is certainly not yet over-used. Rather...
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Horror is a genre renowned for it's consistant regurgitation of plot devices. The Hills Have Eyes certainly doesn't break new ground. However, it's a semi-different take on powerful mutant inbred man-beasts is certainly not yet over-used. Rather than hillbillies, we find people mutated when they refused to leave the New Mexico desert during the nuclear tests of the 50's. The movie revolves around a semi-dysfunctional extended family as they wen their through the desert on the way to sunny cali-for-ni-a. They cross paths with the wrong gas attendant and end up being directed down a 'shorcut' that actually leads to the den of mutants that have lived off those unlucky enough to stumble down their paths for decades. For the most part the film has all those things that a good horror should. It's filled with plenty of gore, disturbing images, and the constant fear of baby murder. There's the typical fair of ludicrously stupid mistakes, which lead to even more.

In short, it's nothing new, but if you love horror, it's well worth a watch.

when I finished watching this movie, I could only think of one thing to say: Wow! By that I mean I think that it's brilliant. The concept of the movie is pretty straight forward. It's a post-apocolyptic style sci-fi film, but it's not your average...
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when I finished watching this movie, I could only think of one thing to say: Wow! By that I mean I think that it's brilliant. The concept of the movie is pretty straight forward. It's a post-apocolyptic style sci-fi film, but it's not your average "nuke falls and the world struggles to carry on". Instead, the concept of the world revolves around an almost more terrifying planet: almost simultaneously, the world over, women became infertal, and now, nearly 19 years later, there hasn't been a sigle child born on the entire planet. The story takes place in Britian, the last country on earth that seems not to have fallen to anarchy. They credit this to their pleasant living to massive deportation and internment of illegal immigrants.Our main character is, as it seems, a regular joe, though one who seems somewhat well connected and a terrible past of some sort. He's approached by his former wife, the mother of their now dead child, and now leader of a terrorist organisation known as "the fishies", for help in getting a woman to the coast and out of Britian. He comes through, but, in the ensuing flight from the country, she is killed by anarchists, or so it seems. When it comes to light that the woman they were trying to extrcate from the country is actually pregnant, and that the fishies actually staged their leader's death in the hopes that they would keep the girl and her baby as a way to unite the world and bring about peace under the baby as a banner. Thus begins a flight for freedom to what's known as the Human Project.

Now, this film is beautiful. The cinemetography is impeccable, almost like a visual meal for the eyes to take in. As a friend points out to me, there's a remarkabley long steadicam shot that qualifies as amazing. The acting in the film is great, although at a few points the dialoge is a little weak, and the dynamic between the main hero and his former wife is a little hard to interperet. Overall, though, the script is solid and admirably performed. The most amazing aspect of the entire thing is the detail. The entire world is crafted beautifully into a believable future devoid of children, a sci-fi world that seems more than plausible given the state it's in. There's stunning changes from the beauty of the cities, to the suburban landscapes pockmarked with pollution belching factories to the run down camps immigrant camps that are literally entire cities that have been converted to dank worlds of despair. Beyond the macro details, however, the micro is even more well drafted, simple things that crop up and stay with you throughout and manage to create something greater than the whole. I really couldn't say enough good things about it. Sure, there are problems, and trust me, I find them with almost every movie. But, I can say honestly, and with conviction, that this is one of the best movies that I've seen in a very long time.

This film didn't exactly broadside my like some I've seen lately. The movie is based on a short story by Lewis Padgett, and I think they did a fantastic job bringing it to life. The tale is somewhat complex, being a thread woven about the history...
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This film didn't exactly broadside my like some I've seen lately. The movie is based on a short story by Lewis Padgett, and I think they did a fantastic job bringing it to life. The tale is somewhat complex, being a thread woven about the history of the future. A teacher stands before her class, in what appears to be a utopian future, and begins to tell them the history of how their world became as it was. The story follows a scientist desperate to try one last time to save humanity, he sends back what she refers to as the last Mimzy. A box is sent back in time, where it's found by Noah and Emma Wlder, who mistake the items in the box, at first, to be merely toys of some kind. Quickly, however, we discover that these are not merely playthings. The story progresses with the children learning quickly and displaying new and strange abilities, almost like magic. But all of this new found talent is actually leading them on an adventure to save the future of mankind. The movie is done beautifully. It's filled with skillful cinematography and beautiful special effects. The story is well crafted, though it feels a little clunky at times, and there are moments where you feel that the screenwriter is trying to cram a few points down your throat. The most obvious comes at the beginning where you see screens of all sorts, whether they be on cell phones, televisions, portable video game systems, or what have you. Throughout, as well, there are mentions of pollutants, both cultural and otherwise. Another thing I have problems with comes from the sheer amount of bizarre Tibetan references, and a call back to Alice Lidell, Lewis Carroll's muse for Alice's Adventure's in Wonderland and it's sequel, which feels a bit pointless. These few things aside, though, the story works well and I, for one, enjoyed it.

Great film. Another movie where the trailers not only didn't do it any justice, it failed completely to even tell us what the film was about. Turns out, Disney still knows how to churn them out. My only real gripe is that with the advent of CGI,...
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Great film. Another movie where the trailers not only didn't do it any justice, it failed completely to even tell us what the film was about. Turns out, Disney still knows how to churn them out. My only real gripe is that with the advent of CGI, it's all starting to look and feel the same. I remember days gone by where an animated film varied from studio to studio. The story is about an orphan boy, who abandon's hope of being adopted in favor of building a machine that would let him see his Mother out of the depths of his own mind. However, a mysterious, although brutally stupid man from the future who tries to steal his invention so he can pass it off as his own. He's taken by a boy to the future, in an attempt to get convince him to repair his science fair project, and promptly gets stuck there. That aside, the film is actually great. The story is pretty amusing, and it's done with Disney's typical humor. I was happy that there was a minimum of toilet humor, which seems to be getting more and more rare. My only real gripe is that the writer's made no real attempt at keeping straight the temporal mechanics of a film of this nature. The other gripe is that the story gets to be a little rushed, but, that's to be expected. And, no, I'm not looking for a time travel story int he veing of the great minds behind Star Trek, just something a bit more plausible... but, still, it's a kid movie. And my kids loved it, and that's really what matters, right?

I was at a friends house, and we were going over his massive collection of DVDs and we came across this film. My initial reaction was, "Huh, they did a third one?"

But, in retrospect, I do recall saying that I would never...
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I was at a friends house, and we were going over his massive collection of DVDs and we came across this film. My initial reaction was, "Huh, they did a third one?"

But, in retrospect, I do recall saying that I would never see this movie when an ad came on television. Alas, I did see it. It's awful. But, at least it's awful in the way that all bad horror flicks should be. First, there's very little consistancy, most notable comes in the very beginning, when our heroine envisions the roller coaster crash. When she throws a fit, she and her cohorts end up off the ride, which promptly crashes anyway. The problem here is that the character carrying the video camera which actually cause the crash in her vision, ends up off the train as well. It's all down hill from there folks. Of course, they again recall the fate of those that weren't on flight 180, but in an even more loose manner than the second. The only redeeming value of this film is that the deaths are terribly fun to watch. The set-ups for each are nearly as good as the previous films, so, it's not bad. Of course, I thought the second was better than the first, but none of these were all that good to begin with. Would I watch it again? Yeah, sadly I probably would... although I'd have to be doing something else at the same time.

I've been meaning to review this... the problem is that I have a hard time doing so without ruining the movie. This is the best I've been able to come up with so far:

I have one word for this movie: Wow!

I knew very...
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I've been meaning to review this... the problem is that I have a hard time doing so without ruining the movie. This is the best I've been able to come up with so far:

I have one word for this movie: Wow!

I knew very little about this movie going into it, save the fact that it was supposed to be a fantasy. I was aware that the much of the talent of this movie came in the form of actors and actresses that are no stranger to the kid show/movie genre. I was also aware that it was done up by Gabor Csupo, very much a part of the Nickelodeon pantheon.

What I did not know was how moving this story would be. I will say that this is the first time in a while that I've cried during a movie. Secondly, it's the first time in a while that I've been surprised, nay, blindsided by a film. Worst, is that these events coincided.

The story is about imagination, growing up, and love. The story is about expression, and feeling. It delves into the far reaching depths of misunderstanding, and childhood ridcule.

Jess is a young boy, an artistic middle boy in a family of girls. His family is poor, his mother and father are struggling under the weight of an economy that doesn't favor the farmer. He's an introverted boy who doesn't have friends, and seems to rely on his drawing skills to keep his mind occupied. He meats a young girl, Leslie, who seems to understand him, she's quirky, a true outsider, from a family of writers who seems to have inherited the gift.

When they become friends, they decide they need a place that is their own. Terabithia is born as they imagine the forest across the creek is another world, it's inhabited my the metaphors for they're own lives, and it becomes real for them.

I won't say more about where they take the story, because I don't want to ruin it for you.

The feelings that this film evokes are real and moving. I don't know what else to say, I was absolutely amazed by it.

Mike Judge, apparently still trying to do things since the Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill. Alright, I'll admit to loving Office Space, but he's certainly not a juggernaut in his own right, and of course, that was in 1999. Luckily, he...
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Mike Judge, apparently still trying to do things since the Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill. Alright, I'll admit to loving Office Space, but he's certainly not a juggernaut in his own right, and of course, that was in 1999. Luckily, he actually managed a pretty funny movie with Idiocracy, unfortunately, the film had nearly no marketing.

This is the first point I'll talk about, because it's annoying. The movie was distributed by 20th Century Fox. The movie does not do much to help the image of large corporations, showing the future of companies like Starbucks as handing out handjobs, and Fuddruckers name slowly morphed into **** Carl's Jr.'s new motto becomes Fuck you, I'm eating", supplanting their "Don't bother me, I'm eating." Most notable is that they depict Fox News as being hosted by beefy wrestlers and having little actual news content. The end result was that the film had a limited release in only 125 theaters, a far cry from the typical 2500-3000 theater release. There were no posters, no ads, no trailers. It seems that they did everything they could be keep the film quiet. Which is really too bad.

Now, on to the actual film. The movie starts out with a montage of videos with powerful voice over, it describes the way that stupid humans seem to procreate much faster than those with some level of intellect. It uses humorous charts and various clips of an oversexed hilbilly.

From there, we are set-up for the rest of the movie, where an Army Sergeant, an meager man who when confronted with the "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" speech, will simply move away into obscurity so as not to draw attention to himself. He's taken from his job as an Army librarian, and given to a military experiment. He's supposed to be frozen for 1 year, to prove that the system works, allowing the government to freeze they're most impressive soldiers during times when they're not being used, so that they can be unfrozen when they are actually needed. The idea is to test this on someone who is completely unremarkable in every way so as to not lose an asset. There's also a hooker who goes under at the same time. Due to a snafoo, the project is dismantled and the Army base is bulldozed. They are never unfrozen.

We watch as 500 years pass, people get stupider, and keep breeding. The pair end up as part of a massive landfill, which are huge towering mountains. Apparently they are prone to avalanche, which is apparently one of several problems now plaguing humanity.

Everyone is stupid, and our hero turns out to be the smartest person on the planet. He is retained by the President to fix all the worlds problems, he's given a week. The main problems are that crops aren't growing and the country is plagued by massive sand storms.

The former Sergeant realizes, that while he's not brilliant, he realizes that the problem seems to be coming from the liberal use of Brawndo, an energy drink that has supplanted water in every application. As a matter of fact, water is only used in toilets.

The movie is pretty funny, and actually has a decent enough message, which will probably be lost on the cretinous mouth-breathers about which the film is written. But, there's enough jokes that even stupid people will laugh and point, while trying not to spill their beer.

This is the second of the 8 Films to Die For series that I watched, and after having a relatively good experience with the first (Unrest, which was pretty good), the second really frustrated me.

It's not that the movie is bad, it's...
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This is the second of the 8 Films to Die For series that I watched, and after having a relatively good experience with the first (Unrest, which was pretty good), the second really frustrated me.

It's not that the movie is bad, it's just not exciting in any way. There's hardly any build up, perhaps it's just knowing that it's a horror film, but you don't go from zero to sixty, it just seems to remain at a zero all throughout.

Don't get me wrong, there's blood, and gore, but never there's never a shock, there's never a scene where even a 13 year old girl would jump. It's boring.

The acting isn't terrible, either, but it's certainly not compelling by any stretch of the imagination. The dialog is pretty piss poor, as well.

As to the writing, everything about the film just rolls along, of course not well, but it clips along. The problem comes in when they try to introduce the twist, it's pathetic. It's sad, and feels as though they were just itching to be clever, but fall well short of the target.

All in all, I hated it. Not in the way that I've hated movies like The House of the Dead, but in the way that I would never watch it again. I really don't recommend it.

This film wasn't bad, on the contrary, I found that I enjoyed it quite a bit. The problem is that there's a lot of really bad elements to the movie that prevent it from being great. Firstly, the movie has all the action you can imagine, there's...
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This film wasn't bad, on the contrary, I found that I enjoyed it quite a bit. The problem is that there's a lot of really bad elements to the movie that prevent it from being great. Firstly, the movie has all the action you can imagine, there's also plenty of blood and guts which is always good. Mark Wahlberg is a Marine Scout Sniper, he and his spotter get into a bit of trouble on a black op some time ago and end up being left alone 8 klicks inside of a country in Africa they had no business being in after being spotted by insurgents. Alone, they begin the process of capping as many of the 100 opfor as possible. Then there's a helicopter, which misses Mark Wahlberg's character, but tears his partner apart with machine gun fire. Marky Mark gets pissed and takes out the chopper, and some 70% of the over 100 enemy soldiers. Cut to 36 months later, he's now a hermit living in the mountains of some state where you can live in the mountains and be the only person. An Army Colonel comes to recruit him to scout out positions from which the snipe the President of the United States at a distance of at least a mile, because they have intel that says someone will do this. He's one of the few people who could make the shot, and outside of the government, and therefore the best man for the counter intel. At first he declines, but his sense of patriotism is too strong and he begrudginly goes to work. Once he recommends the position the shooter, and then is on hand the day of the speech.

Instead of capping the president, the Arch Bishop of a country in Africa is capped, and, without even a little surprise, our man gets framed. There are loopholes a plenty in this, from the reasons why the Arch Bishop is capped here and now, when he likely could have been killed any time, to the to the way that Danny Glover and his Senator cohort celebrate their 'victory' in the end, as though Marky Mark was just gonna leave well enough alone. The biggest complaints I have from this movie come in the way of Danny Glover's apparent stroke, which leaves him talking through his teeth with hardly an expression at all, the fact that every scene is subtitled as though the film makers didn't think we could discern from the scene where we were (the best example is at the end, when the subtitle says "Department of Justice" while the camera hovers over an official looking building, we cut to Mark Wahlberg being brought into the room in an orange jumpsuit, capture, and through the double doors can be clearly seen a massive seal that says "Department of Justice".). The other frustrating thing is the dialogue, which is so corny it's hard not to laugh at it. Most of this is delivered poorly from Danny Glover, but, there's also a scene where the guy that played Casey Jones gets his thumb shot off and starts cackling about how he can't believe he took the shot. There are other problems too, but, for the most part, they're consistency issues. The problems are not enough to keep me from enjoying the flick for what it is, but, it's still enough that the person I watched it with couldn't help but think out loud, as a group of high ranking officials sit around a massive table, "What if that guy stands up and he's not wearing any pants?" It's at that point that it becomes clear that you weren't riveted.

Like I said, it's not a bad film. But, it's not great. Seriously, I don't remember character names, except Marky Mark's was something like Bobby Lee Swagger.. it had a Lee and a Swagger, but it could have been Billy or Franky... I just remember thinking, duh, three names, he's going to get blamed for the assassination, because all assassins have three names.

TMNT. I probably wouldn't have loved it like I did if it didn't recall fond memories of my youth.

The fact is that it's a movie filled with regurgitated jokes, overused sight-gags, campy one-liners, and massive plot holes.
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TMNT. I probably wouldn't have loved it like I did if it didn't recall fond memories of my youth.

The fact is that it's a movie filled with regurgitated jokes, overused sight-gags, campy one-liners, and massive plot holes.

The writers of this one seemed intent on recalling the greatness of the original cartoon and movies, they also seemed to be trying to bring back some of the darkness and style of the old Eastman and Laird comics. The only problem is that they seem determined to cater to far too large of an audience, everyone from loyal fanboys to the 8 year olds who're watching the current iteration of the show. Now, I'm more than willing to overlook a lot most of the time to enjoy a movie about something I like, and that's just what I had to do for this one. It seemed as though they weren't sure whether they were taking themselves serious or not. Now, the most important thing to mention is that this movie is still classic turtles. I was hoping for something a little more highbrow, but, overall it still harks back to the days gone by for me.

I will say that the CGI is spot on, it's beautifully done, of course, that goes without saying these days. I will say that everything is smooth and linear, and even though you're watching the impossible movements of mutant turtles and massive monsters you still believe what you're seeing.

The story is actually pretty good. I haven't really seen the current show, but I've the entire original series, all three movies and read quite a few of the comics, including the very first ones. This film seems to pick up, more or less, at the end of the second movie. Shredder is dead, Leonardo has gone into training far away from New York, so the three remaining brothers are getting by through various means. Donatello is now a one man IT service, Michalango is now a turtle party clown, and Raphael has taken to running around as a one man crime fighting machine. April O'Neil seems to be some sort of archaeologist, and Casey Jones is still a wisecrackin' vigilante. The story takes on a new challenge for our heroes. Leonardo comes home, but, it's not hugs all around. Raphael is still brooding, but more importantly, there's a bunch of 3,000 year old monsters running around the city. I won't ruin everything for you, but, it's pretty decent stuff, though. The main problems that I have I've already outlined, and I won't go into too much detail at all. Just trust that this is flawed on many levels, but, for anyone who's a fan of the turtles, it's well worth the watch.

I loved this movie, though I almost let it slip by.

It's a great story, it's different than most of the titles available right now. It's got a little of all the things I enjoy in a movie, including sex, violence, action, dark humor,...
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I loved this movie, though I almost let it slip by.

It's a great story, it's different than most of the titles available right now. It's got a little of all the things I enjoy in a movie, including sex, violence, action, dark humor, Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci.

This one caught me off guard, mostly because the ads and the trailers really didn't tell me much of anything about the movie. You see Samuel L. Jackson quip a bit, you see Christina Ricci chained up. And, that's it.

The film itself, though, is so much more. I will admit that I don't know how they could have advertised it differently, but it seems like they should have at least tried.

The movie is a tale about Rae (Ricci), whose history is sexual abuse turned impropriety catches up when her boyfriend (Timberlake), a panic-prone prone man who relys on her for stability, leaves for the military. Immediately, her past causes her to jaunt off on a bender of epic proportions, drinking and pill-popping until she's beaten and left for dead.

She's discovered by an aging black man, Lazarus (Jackson), a defunct blues singer in the deep south, going through marital issues with his wife (she left him after their long marriage, for his younger brother). He takes the girl into his home and takes care of her, but as he learns about her past, and she begins drunken sleep-walking fits, he chains her to the radiator (one that his former wife complained about, which becomes an interesting metaphor in and of itself). He decides that he's going to help this girl, no matter the cost.

The story can be used as a metaphor faith and infidelity, strength and love, it can be seen as a dark romantic comedy with teeth, and, it can be viewed a touching coming of age story of sorts. The point is that there's a deep and meaningful story.

It's twisted, and in the end, people don't end up just hugging and riding off into the sunset. The writing is tight, the imagery is raw and stunning, the human drama is palpable. It's worth a couple hours of your time.

Since he's a Minnesota boy, I probably like him more, but, I really dig Josh Hartnett. I enjoy his laid back characterization. He really can only do a few roles, but, for the most part I think he's been pretty underused as an actor. I'm really...
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Since he's a Minnesota boy, I probably like him more, but, I really dig Josh Hartnett. I enjoy his laid back characterization. He really can only do a few roles, but, for the most part I think he's been pretty underused as an actor. I'm really excited about 30 Days of Night, since I loved the comic so much and feel they've really done a good job in casting him.

Amazingly visual. Disappointingly poor adaptation.

This film had everything at its disposal to make perfection. Money. But, unfortunately, they didn't quite get it.

You can read the plot summary on your own. Basically,...
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Amazingly visual. Disappointingly poor adaptation.

This film had everything at its disposal to make perfection. Money. But, unfortunately, they didn't quite get it.

You can read the plot summary on your own. Basically, the story goes thusly: Due to Spartan law, the king is unable to take the full force of his highly trained (read, from birth) army to face a massive Persian force numbering in the 100's of thousands. He merely takes a small handful, 300, to try and stop the advance of this multi-continental force by hole-ing up in a small mountain pass that eliminates the numerical advantage of their enemy. It's based, albeit very loosely, on true historical recordings. The film is an adaptation of the Frank Miller's fantastic comic. I'll focus first on the positives: Visceral visuals. Violent and powerful shooting, excellent effects, and more (gruesome) sound than the human brain should process. There's something to be said for the current trend of big budget green screens. That something is: WOW! It's incredibly immersive, there's nary a point in the movie that you don't feel convinced that the things on screen are real, even when you know they cannot be. The sound comes at you from every direction, and in the extremely well choreographed fight scenes (the majority of the film), the sounds of blades rending flesh and bones being crushed are amazing.

The character design is also spot on, and translates well from the original books. There's more than a few moments where you'll wish you could pause it on the big screen just to examine some strangely disfigured creature, or amazingly detailed animal. The costumes are also astounding, while the Spartans merely sport red capes and leather bikini briefs, the Persians are well adorned with Jewelry and armor as are the animals. The most amazing is the "God King Xerxes", whose costume is as dazzling as his stature (which I would guess at around 8 feet). The negatives, however, are a bit more problematic. It's hard to really settle on the problems, because they aren't really consistent throughout the film. There are bits of dialogue that you'll hear, and you'll regret them for the writers. There's a sub story involving the romance between the Spartan King and his Queen that goes more or less unnoticed, although it seems as though they wanted it to be a pivotal plot device. There's a plus / minus point, depending on your point of view, in that there's a near soft-core like pornographic sex scene that really does nothing to further the story in any way, but does give the viewer a few moments of visual carnal knowledge that's hard not to "enjoy".

By far, my biggest complaint is the pace. It seemed as though the actual story component of the movie was rushed, or possibly cut, in favor for the massive battles. The battles are amazing to behold, and you still feel very much compelled by the Spartan's plight, but, there are pieces of the puzzle that feel like they're missing. A great example would be the size of Sparta itself. They focus so very narrowly on merely the king at the beginning of the film. When he takes his handful of Spartans, the 300 to which the title refers to, you get the 'impression' that this is a small number compared to those which might be at his control. They explain why he's taking a small number, but not very well, and you really have no sense of the size of the Spartan army until the very end. Perhaps that was the intent, but, none-the-less, it seems as though you might feel more impressed if you knew from the beginning that his numbers COULD have been 10,000 strong, and, even facing armies that out number them 6 to 1, this would have been an adequate figure to do some damage to King Xerxes masses. As a matter of fact, the movie does a terrible job depicting the actual size of Sparta in general, in the beginning, when an messenger from the Persians comes, you see what seems like the entire city of Sparta, all 27 of them.

Are these things enough to make the movie 'bad'? NO! It's an excellent film, even if just for the incredibly detailed visual immersion. But, for those that are going in looking for a powerful story, historical reference, or even just Sin City 2, you'll be horribly disappointed. It's a movie that I loved for what it was. And, I recommend that everyone do the same.

I'm going to be as kind as possible, because I had high hopes for this. High hopes that were dashed.

First, a little background. My birthday is February 23rd, so, you may be able to understand that I saw this and thought,...
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I'm going to be as kind as possible, because I had high hopes for this. High hopes that were dashed.

First, a little background. My birthday is February 23rd, so, you may be able to understand that I saw this and thought, "perhaps it is fate."

To say this movie is bad doesn't do bad movies justice. I mean, House of the Dead was bad, but this movie is bad on a whole other level. The movie is about obsession over the number 23, but the problem is that, for the most part, it's all just a ridiculous series of coincidences. Coincidences that start from the opening, and continue all throughout. Honestly, it's like 'The DaVinci Code for Dummies'. You hope, when you figure out what the twist is going to be, that you're wrong. You really hope that something amazing happens to tie it all up, but, then, when it turns out the thing you've been fearing happens. That's when you want to throw things at the screen. It's when they proceed to try and justify it, that's when things get really bad, because, no matter how hard you try, you cannot justify this. It's unjustifiable. I will say that I love Carrey in a movie where he's just flailing around like a lunatic. Truly, that sort of humor lost it's luster when I was 12, and, honestly, even though the movie itself isn't great, Carrey gives a fairly solid performance.

I cannot in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone. It's just not good. I don't mean that it's the worst movie I've ever seen, I have honestly seen far more horrific ventures in film making, but, do yourself a favor and avoid this one. Unless you really enjoy terrible movies.

This was a film I didn't expect to like. But I did. Immensely. The story seems silly on the surface, but, it really speaks to a lot of people, because the ability to control the world around you is a very tempting proposition indeed. The reason...
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This was a film I didn't expect to like. But I did. Immensely. The story seems silly on the surface, but, it really speaks to a lot of people, because the ability to control the world around you is a very tempting proposition indeed. The reason this spoke to me so much was the dynamic between characters, the family. I was drawn in an felt deeply, perhaps because I recognized the problems that they went through as things that I've felt.

In the end, you feel a deep sorrow for the ways in which everything ends, and elation for the 'happy ending' that comes. I loved it! Even if this review isn't very eloquent about it!

The film is directed by Richard Linklater, who has done a few movies I've enjoyed, but nothing I'm immensely big on. It has Keaneu Reeves as the main character Rob Arcter / Fred, and also includes some other big names in the supporting like,...
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The film is directed by Richard Linklater, who has done a few movies I've enjoyed, but nothing I'm immensely big on. It has Keaneu Reeves as the main character Rob Arcter / Fred, and also includes some other big names in the supporting like, Winona Ryder, Woody Harrelson, Robert Downey, Jr., and Rory Cochrane. on top of that, big names like Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney are in the executive producer spots. There's enough big money name dropping involved on this one that it's almost bound to do well just on name draw alone.

A Scanner Darkly is based on a novel by the same name written by Pillip Kindred Dick. Pillip K. Dick is responsible in no small part for many infamous sci-fi movies, including Blade Runner, Total Recall, and Minority Report the screenplays for which are based on his works, a man that had died in 1982 his legacy has lived on, and probably will for some time. Currently in the works is the film Next, which is based on his story The Golden Man.

The story of A Scanner Darkly is a futuristic tale of the world and it's addiction to a new drug called 'Substance D', a highly addictive psychoactive drug. Undercover narcotics officers outside of the the seedy underworld they are trying to bring down wear special 'scramble suits' which resample their appearances and voice patterns constantly so that they cannot be identified, they wear these suits even when in the police station so that no one, even those directly superior to them, can figure out who they are. Inside the seedy underworld I referred to earlier, however, they take copius amounts of drugs, and therein lies the basis for our story. Substance D has a longterm, and violent affect on the users brain, causing the left hemisphere of the brain to begin to fail until the right hemisphere attempts to compensate, causing hallucinations, and general visual impairment. Robert Arcter, a narcotics officer known as Fred to the precint, is already beginning to feel the affects of prolonged use of D. He feels his mind unraveling around him, and as he's ordered to spy on himself and his friends using holographic scanners, the title of the story takes on it's meaning, as he wonders how the scanners see him, "clearly, or darkly?" The story has several twists and turns that, while somewhat predictable, still give you the feeling of being yanked around, and you feel in the dark, as if suffering with Arcter throughout the entire thing.

The acting is actually fairly good, considering the cast. I'm not a huge fan of ANY of the names in the film, but being that half the main cast are real life drug addicts and activists, I suppose the 'acting' wasn't too hard for them anyway. The big draw for me, at least at first, was the artistic value. It uses a technique called rotoscoping to produce vector keyframes which are interpolated and leave you with a beautiful and incredible visual spectacle. It, of course, is meant to add to the feeling of bizarre drug induced sight, which works really well. Had the film been merely left alone (without rotoscoping), it would not have had even near the effect it had otherwise.

My opinion? I really enjoyed it, it doesn't exactly rank on my top 10 list by any means, but it's fantastic and definitely worth an hour and a half of your life to watch.

I will try to make this review as simple as possible. This movie is EXCELLENT!

I would say that the acting throughout is superb, the story is well written, and very well developed, and the shooting is excellent. The major plus that...
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I will try to make this review as simple as possible. This movie is EXCELLENT!

I would say that the acting throughout is superb, the story is well written, and very well developed, and the shooting is excellent. The major plus that this film has going for it would be its 'twist', which is pretty good. I don't think I've seen a movie in a great while that I wasn't able to predict early into the story, and this isn't' an exception, but, I'm an exception. If you found yourself amazed by anything from M. Knight Shyamalan, then this movie will have you locked up and won't let you go 'til the end. I will not go so far as to compare it to 'The Illusionist', because, they are not the same movie, but I will say, don't feel as though you need to watch one or the other, because you'll do yourself an injustice.

I've not been more upset with a book to film adaptation than with this movie. It's awful.

I try hard, when I go to see remakes and adaptations of things that I've enjoyed previously, to go into it with 'fresh eyes', as if I'm watching...
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I've not been more upset with a book to film adaptation than with this movie. It's awful.

I try hard, when I go to see remakes and adaptations of things that I've enjoyed previously, to go into it with 'fresh eyes', as if I'm watching something new.

I couldn't manage this, however, for Eragon. I will say that I've read the first two books from Pauolini, and enjoyed them immensely, even if they were rather verbose, and did borrow liberally from several fine fantasy works.

Paoulini is very visual with his descriptions of characters and actions so that you cannot read Eragon and Eldest without having incredibly accurate images all throughout, and, having read the story so thoroughly, my visual images are very vivid.

So, it is with great frustration that I see so many liberties were taken in the casting and reproduction of the characters. Esepcially given the amount of money they used in the creation of the dragons, it seems impossible that they could not have done more with the other 'non-human' creations. As an example, the Urgals, which are described as creatures with with horns and greyish skin, are in the film, merely filthy looking men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the movie isn't visually compelling. Saphira is amazing, the sound is astounding, and the effects of the magic are impeccable.

The most frustrating thing about the entire film, though, is that they use so many ridiculous plot devices to cram a 550 page book into an hour and a half. An example comes at the very beginning, where the extremely young Saphira is first learning to fly, she soars into the air and through heavy clouds, his apparently hit by lightning and suddenly grows about 5 times her size... something that took a while to happen in the book, and, frankly doesn't make a lot of sense, even if you've never read it.

The other issue that effects my enjoyment is that very little character development. The plain truth is that there's no way to fit this book into an hour and a half. It just doesn't work!

Now, I have to apologize that I've given this review based on reading the books, but, I can't find any other way.

So, the sum of everything? If you've read the books, it's best to avoid the film. If not, well, it's not so bad.

Curse of the Golden Flower is a little bit different than any of the previous 'Asian Cinema' movies that I've seen, but not substantially.

It is, in every way, an incredible piece of filmmaking. From the moment the film starts, you...
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Curse of the Golden Flower is a little bit different than any of the previous 'Asian Cinema' movies that I've seen, but not substantially.

It is, in every way, an incredible piece of filmmaking. From the moment the film starts, you are accosted with over-saturated colors and a plethora extremely well choreographed movement. The most noticeable thing all throughout is the wardrobe, which is phenomenal, and the set design and construction, which is amazing.

Understand that it takes quite a bit for someone like myself to use words like phenomenal and amazing.

Beyond the visuals, which make up a majority of the films strong points, there's also the incredible 'fight scenes', which are, in no uncertain terms, as amazing as you'd expect from a film of this type. The only problem is that there's not nearly enough of them for the first 3/4 of the film, no, the story is what dominates.

The story, however, is another 'story' entirely. It's in depth and rich, but, I feel gets lost slightly in 'translation'. It's hard to watch, truly, because so much of the story requires you to set aside your concepts of 'normal' culture and society. It's also very slow going, and I feel that much of the story is withheld from us for far too long, until the end, when everything is 'revealed'.

The epic battle at the end makes the entire thing worthwhile, though.

You know, I had written what I thought was a very witty review of this movie, but, alas, it seems to have disappeared into the depths of the interwebs. Now, I still want to tell people how wonderful it is, but, I don't know if I can really...
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You know, I had written what I thought was a very witty review of this movie, but, alas, it seems to have disappeared into the depths of the interwebs. Now, I still want to tell people how wonderful it is, but, I don't know if I can really recreate the pure genius of my previous review. Instead, I will say that this movie has absolutely EVERYTHING one could want from a martial arts movie. I really enjoy the various 'Asian Cinema' movies that cropped up before and around this movie, such as Crouching Tiger... and Hero, but this film has all of the same quality in terms of choreography and special effects, but it adds an extremely humorous storyline that's just a laugh from beginning to end. So, without going into a synopsis, I will simply say that this movie is everything it's cracked up to be and well worth watching a few times!