Fellow GameSpotters, a couple of days ago I posted about my Xbox 360 breaking down in the middle of my second run through Ninja Gaiden II. Three red lights of doom claimed my fourth 360. This unfortunate event inspired me, and I decided to have a bit of fun with Microsoft's finest. Browse through the following pics and story, and if you have a sense of humor I am sure you will appreciate.

Here we go:

After a hard day of work, it's time to let some steam off. What better game to do that with than Ninja Gaiden II. Obliteriation moves, here I come. I can't wait to cut ninja nasties in two and sever demon spawn limbs with my oversized scythe.

The 360 refuses to digest the Ninja Gaiden II ration I'm feeding it. It's giving me three red fingers instead. What gives? Say it ain't so!

Maybe my 360 is feeling particularly unenergetic today, so as a good owner I'm trying to be supportive by giving it GREEN powered energy drinks. Alas, to no avail.

You know, maybe it simply is a digestion problem. Ninja Gaiden II is a heavy duty game, so I can understand if the 360 has some difficulties dealing with it. After all, it needs three cores where other consoles can achieve the same result with just one. I'm giving it various stomach aids, but they don't make the three red lights go away.

Master Chief jumps by to check if he can help out, but as usual he is unable to finish the fight. Hardly legendary. That spartan never fails to unimpress me.

I hear a whisper coming from the right, and there is my PlayStation 3. No nasty blinking red lights that make you skip heartbeats to see there. It's a subtle hint.

A mysterious force draws me to my pile of Ninja Gaiden games. *Duke Nukem voice* Where is it?

Ninja Gaiden Sigma! You rock!

The angy video game nerd would say to pop something in. I'm not quoting him to full effect because it would just get censored anyway. Besides, you can't talk of Team Ninja games like that. They're simply too awesome. Except for the Xtreme ones. Don't get me started about the Xtreme ones.

It's working! Victory, decapitations and therefore therapy are mine!

Before I can fully receive the sweet joy of graphical violence on my retina, one task remains to be done. It's time to take out the trash. Believe me, it's the smart thing to do.

EPILOGUE

The next day, early in the morning. Upon inspecting the garbage bin, I notice my 360 has passed away for good. I am not a horrible person, so I'm sending the 360 off to the zen gardens, where it will receive eternal affection of the DOA girls. Sayonara, 360. Once you were like a flying swallow, but unfortunately you have been hit by Microsoft's dead soul bind. The corporate bs version of it, which happens to be the deadliest.

I'm giving Ninja Gaiden II another run, looking for the last couple of skulls that I missed on my first playthrough. Yesterday, I got a hold of all 30 of them. Pleased with the progress, I turn off my 360. Today it refuses to boot up, giving me the three red fingers.

I thought Elite models were supposed to be more reliable. That may be, but it doesn't take away the fact that my fourth 360 just died on me. A bit of a bummer, as I had just caught on to Itagaki's swan song. A bit disoriented, I turned to Ninja Gaiden Black on my old Xbox that is not filled with cheap components and therefore is as reliable as ever. *sigh* Black is a fine game, but coming hot off Ninja Gaiden II, it feels slow.

FACT: Ninja Gaiden II is too hot for the 360 to handle.

Bursting through doors with axes, hammers or even your own lifelihood seems to be the hype these days. I still prefer to gain entry the old-fashioned way.

Anyway, this is just me signing in to say that I'm back for duty. Still not with enough time at hand, but now that Team Ninja seems to be back on track, so am I. Ninja Gaiden II with Ayane added into the mix makes it all Sigma. For our screenshots fix, we have to head outside of Gamespot.

Oh, if you sent me a message over the course of 2008, chances are high I never read it and probably never will. Sorry, I did post I was gone for about a year, didn't I?

Time to bask in the sunlight now, just like Kokoro.