Ok, I alluded to needing advice in my last blog with my boyfriend who in my opinion is being 'crappy' (that's how i put it...) I got a few people telling me to dump him or to elaborate on my problems and since I don't feel like typing my Sociology paper for tomorrow methinks I will. You all will probably think I am crazy for some of my complaints but meh. Besides you guys aren't obligated to tell me I am too good for him like my RL friends so you might give some better advice than them (that and you can't throw a dating book at my head...)

Alright. I'll tell you right now I am hopeless with boys romantically and even more hopeless with relationships. My boyfriend who my best friend has dubbed "Peaches" (twas a codename since I was crushing a little before we went out and I didn't want my brother to know, its his best friend...) and I have known each other for years. By years I mean since he was six and I was seven. He's been best friends with my brother for that long and we share almost all the same friends here while I'm at home. (At least all the male ones, all my female friends are seperate from them thank the gods.) He had been flirting with me for awhile, much longer than I realised and it took him kissing me (several times) for me to realize he was even actually interested.

Peaches though from the moment we started going out was not an ideal boyfriend (at least that is what Jynx keeps telling me, I have had only one other relationship and that one was slightly abusive, so I really wouldn't know). He lives with two other girls who he constantly talks about, not sure if its just to make me jealous or what. He won't call me ever. He once left for a week (on a trip I knew nothing about with said room mates and cousin) and I called him to tell him I had strep and he might want to see a doctor, he caught an attitude with me for calling him! He apologized once he came home, but I was a litte peeved that he would even yell at me when I am sick over the fact I called him to warn him. He won't answer my phone calls half the time and then he swears he never got the calls or had his phone on vibrate so he didn't know I called. When I do hear about him it is because he has called my brother and told him what is going on. I know he hates the phone a little bit but shouldn't he want to talk to me at least sometimes on the phone especially if he hasn't seen me for over a week?

Also is it normal not to tell people (like his other friends, ones we don't share) that we are dating. His room mates don't even know he is in a relationship, which makes me nervous becuase he won't even let me meet them and at least one of them has a crush on him. I am unsure if his other friends besides our mutual ones even know he has a girlfriend at all. In the beginning I could understand, after all it could not work out and that could be akward, but we have been going out for three months now. Three months!

In the whole time we have been going out he hasn't taken me out at all, but he has come back to tell me stories about this club he went to and that club he went to with such and such people. I have hinted a few times I would like to join him on these excursions, and have even given suggestions on days we could go. He has shot those down or ignored me completely. He even took his ex out after her father died to take her mind off of it (this is while we were dating mind you...), but couldn't do the same for me when my grandfather died. He also ignored my request that he call before he comes over so that I know to expect him but he refused claiming he liked to be spontaneous.

The only time I really seem to have his attention is when I am crying (which used to be really rare, because I hate showing emotion) or someone else points out I am pissed. He doesn't take to talking to me well for all his love of confrontations... I don't know what to do. I have tried being nice, I have tried talking to him, I have tried ignoring him (which Jynx assured me would make him interested again, he didn't notice since he never answers my calls anyways..) I don't know what to do. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Am I making too much out of the fact he won't take me anywhere, or only see me at night? (which I have explained to myself is becuase I have classes and work and he has work some days) Am I making too much out of the fact he won't call me and seemingly ignore my calls? Am I making too much out of the fact he seems ashamed to tell anyone about me? Am I just being a whiney, needy girlfriend?

Sorry about this rant. My best friends in RL are tired of hearing about this and if they could would have his head on a pike. I actually care about the bugger too which makes it harder for me, especially since when I tried to break up with my last boyfriend he actually cut himself in front of his little brother that very night, so I don't know what to do. *wipes a tear* I hate letting people get under my skin like this. *growls* Any advice would be appreciated, even if you do tell me I am being unreasonable.

*runs off*

-Ashes