Okay, I know it sounds crazy. I didn't believe it myself at first. Then I started thinking about it, and it starts getting scary.

First of all, you must put aside all the media-programmed, propaganda-driven thoughts or irrational fears you might already have about communists. Forget all that big bad Russian stuff that the 80's taught us, that doesn't exist anymore. Think of communism as just a way of life, a social order, an economic standpoint, a life****choice. Take all the visions of sickles and hammers and tanks out of your head for awhile, and then you will be able to see it clearly.

First of all, the Smurfs shared everything. The food in the Smurf village was stored away in those mushrooms the minute it was harvested and then equally distributed to all the Smurfs throughout the year. No one "farmer Smurf" sold his crop to a "consumer Smurf," or saw his labor exploited by another. It was understood that the crop was for the entire Smurf population, not for the sale or profit of one Smurf alone.

Then there were those jobs each Smurf held. There was Handy Smurf, and Painter Smurf, and Brainy Smurf, etc... Each Smurf had his own specific job and was not allowed to try his hand at any other Smurf's assigned task. There actually was an episode where each Smurf tried to do another one's job, and failed. The moral of the story was apparently "Stick to what you do Best" or to put it another way, stick to what the society has chosen for you, or maybe just "You'll get what you get and like it!" Handy Smurf was always building. Painter Smurf was always painting. Everyone accepted what they were and didn't ask questions.

Some other evidence I've gathered may strain the limits of credibility. Decide for yourself: Papa Smurf wore a red cap. All the Smurfs were the same color and sang the same song everywhere they went - stressing their Smurfy unity. Didn't you catch yourself singing that song as a kid? I know you did. Everyone did. Everyone.

The most compelling evidence that the Smurfs were communists comes from their relationship to the arch-villian Gargamel. If you remember, the only thing that Gargamel wanted the Smurfs for was for his own profit. In the first four or five seasons, Gargamel's master plan was to catch the Smurfs, boil them, and turn them into gold. For some reason, in the later years when the show was dying, they started saying that he wanted to eat the poor blue creatures, but for the most part he wanted to turn them into gold. He didn't care about the Smurfs themselves, their culture, or their well-being. All he cared about was getting gold. His only interest in how to get rich, and nothing, nothing would get in his way.

Gargamel was a capitalist.

The evil antagonist of the Smurfs was the ultimate capitalist, terrorizing the peaceful good little communist Smurf community. It all starts to fit together doesn't it?

It makes you wonder why somebody didn't speak up about this before, especially during the 80's with Reagan in the Whitehouse

I guess nobody thought it worth their time.

(I think I posted this one before, but what the heck!)

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists, or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell in my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragon of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought, I'll shoot him and then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled, "Danger: Don Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will clearly not be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum - a small hotel room well outside my border will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least several round of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital count-down. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable. I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would prove a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legion of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strength and weaknesses. Even though this takes some fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive which is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bed chamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcements and/or romantic sub-plot for the hero or his side-kick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tell me my Legion of Terror is losing a battle, I will believe him.. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super-weapon, I will use it early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all of those pesky time travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys that happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him and say "And here is the price for failure." then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all of my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions of the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legion of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legion of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owners manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: This also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?" I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of this nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a compentant psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be disadvantageous.
65. If I must have a computer system with publicly available terminals, the maps they display will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints and then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon, instead of using my unstoppable super weapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legion of Terror to attack the heroes en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legion of Terror "And he must be taken alive-" the command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonable practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerously unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 stones of power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more alone the lines of "Push the button/"
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to do the task again.
89. After I capture the hero's super weapon, I will not disband legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my main control room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead, I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and the underling who failed or betrayed me, I will die first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cell mate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each other' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data files of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free, unlimited internet access.

Anger Management for Rude People

[When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know - take it out on someone you don't know…]

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Jason Braemore. Could I please speak with Rachel Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me - I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Rachel's correct number and called her - I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again…

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're a scumbag!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'scumbag' next to it, and put it on my speed dial. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a scumbag!" It always cheered me up!

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'scumbag' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a scumbag!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window… so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first scumbag, I thought I had better call the BMW scumbag too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1969 West 35th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hanson," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're a scumbag."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two scumbags to call…

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Scumbag #1…
"Hello."
"You're a scumbag!" (But I didn't hang up… )
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hanson."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Scumbag, I live at 1969 West 35th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, scumbag."
Then I called Scumbag #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, scumbag," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are, I'll…"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, scumbag, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1969 West 35th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called CKVU Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 35th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 35th Street.

There I saw two scumbags beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

Now I feel a lot better…


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Diatribe Facts du Jour

315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.


40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.


A cat's urine glows under a black light.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.


A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-****

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Apples (not caffeine) are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

Believe nothing until it has been officially denied.

Butterflies taste with their feet.


By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.


Celery has negative calories - it takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!


Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying

Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush (… thinking about leaving your toothbrush in the living room now?).

Donkeys kill more people annually than plan crashes.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT".

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Fitness: if it came in a bottle everyone would have a great body.

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club.

Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.


If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs – but not downstairs.

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.


Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time – the beginning of multi-tasking. Leonardo Da Vinci also invented scissors, and it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.


Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.


Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Polar bears are left-handed.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Starfish have no brains.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

The cruise liner QE2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.


The dot over the letter "i" is called a "tittle".


The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer (… so did the first Marlboro Man).

The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. The person behind all these was was William Lear who, after the car radio made him a wealthy man, went on to develop both the 8 track tape player and the Lear Jet.


The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.


The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified Kosher.


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache.


The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before.


The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.


There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.


There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."


Turtles can breathe through their butts.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.


Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.


Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise (… since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?).


Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.