Chez Starbuck. He's a good actor, he is tall, he is athletic, he has the most perfect wavy dirty-blond hair that hangs down a little past his neck, large hands (for hugging!), he's smart, funny, dresses average, not a blemish on his skin, and his name is gorgeous. He'd be the ideal and perfect boyfriend. But then my dreams were shattered by his awful movie. In The Thirteenth Year, he was 17 playing a 13 year old (and he even sounded younger than THAT!). What's up with that? And how typical: He's a popular high school jock who everybody likes to hang out with and he gets all the hot girls, and then he slowly begins to turn into a fish on his birthday. He can climb walls, generate electricty, and whenever he gets wet, scales appear on his arms and fingers. They foreshadow this 'water-association' at the beginning when he is staring for a long time at some fish in the water, almost like he is being hypnotized by them. There was a scene where he tried to wash the scales off his hands by rinsing them in water...NOT GONNA WORK PAL! Also, if he gets wet, sometimes his feet turn into fins, and if he stays in the water long enough,his feet fuse together to make a tail. Too bad he's on the swim team...? Of course, at the end, he turns entirely into a fish-boy, and swims away into the depths of the ocean...leaving his loving family behind... How bizarre! Again, if he didn't have such a humiliatingly embarassing & crappy role in that movie, he'd be perfect. Especially in that one idiotic scene where his hand sticks to the orange juice container...and when he finally gets it unstuck he spends like 8 hours staring at his palms and trying to figure out just what the heck is going on here (it was in this scene that I noticed he has pretty large hands, even for a 17 year old) It wasn't very funny, I mean it looked like Chez was falling in love with hand and he was gonna just eat it up any second! This particular hot 17 year old was top-notch...one of the greatest...he could've been crowned Mr. Hottie for having the best and most attractive body and attitude out of any other teen on the planet! (Slender arms, long fingers, large palms with lots of wrinkles, broad shoulders, perfect smile, average build, nice voice, I mean you couldn't go wrong! And that scene where he took his shirt off to go swimming, and then came out of the water, hair dripping, muscles bulging, skin shining in the sun as he ran onto the beach...BEAUTIFUL...only to be destroyed when he looked down and saw the hideous scales protruding from his beautiful biceps. And throughout this scene he is barefoot, and his feet are average size, and all his toes are perfect, too). OH, there was another scene at the very end where his voice (his beautiful voice) disappears because of the mermaid's spell she puts on him (I was sad). That nasty mermaid though, she is infuriating. She brainwashes him while he's dreaming into wanting to go back to the ocean, and by the end she's practically taken over his body and starts controlling him (well, not controlling him per-se...but she manipulates his desicions,) most notable when she telephically tells him to step into the water, and when he obeys, he doubles-over and starts grunting and groaing in pain and agony. Suddenly, his fins and scales become permanent (his slender arms become a seaweed monopoly, his perfectly-shaped hands and fingers become scale central, and his gorgeous unblemished face is now the undersea ground-zero). Worst of all, his tail becomes permanent (his wonderfully attractive legs and feet transform into hideous monstrosities, all slimy and floppy...WAAHHH!) Now, since he is no longer able to walk on his own (my poor mutated hearthrob), he is captured and used as bait and a whole chain of events is activated because of that awful mermaid! Yeah... But that movie forever destroyed his reputation with me when I saw it. It was alright in the beginning, but when he started to act out-of-character (all sci-fi like) saying he could communicate with his birth mother (a mermaid) and that he was finally accepting this transformation that was happening to him that he could not control...blah, blah, blah..it scarred me for life. It stinks because he was so perfect, physically and personality, and now, in present time, he's actually like 25 years old, and hasn't been in any movies for a long time. But we can still remember him by watching the first half of The Thirteenth Year and maybe something else he was in that was actually worth buying and watching! So perfect...yet not. So near...so far. So gorgeous...so ugly. Other teen stars that act just as good, but fail in comparison with Chez's looks, include: Chad Michael Murray, Tom Welling, Jesse McCartney, Josh Harnett, Jared Padelecki, Zac Efron, Jensen Ackles, David Gallagher, & Chad Krowchuk. But seriously, if you want to see Chez Starbuck, rising teen star (hottie), at least rent The Thirteenth Year and you'll get a glimpse of how amazing (and sexy) this teen is (at least until the point where he turns into a fish) Oh well... I'll always love the popular 17 year old high school jock he was at the beginning of the movie...!
Just something to note: like I was saying before...did anyone notice that Chez has really big hands? I only saw him in The Thirteenth Year, but in all the scenes with close-ups of his hands (the orangejuice scene, the alarmclock scene, the fishfood scene, the scalyhands scene, the wallclimbing scene, the transformation scene) I just happened to notice that, even for a 17 year old, his hands are pretty huge. I mean huge as in, his fingers are very long, and his palms are very wide. I actually decided to measure them with that of my own, and all his fingers were an inch and a half longer than mine, and his palm is three inches wider than mine. And this was a scene where it wasn't a close-up. Overall, his hands were 4 1/2 inches taller than an average 17 year old's. Could that be why he was picked for that role? Cause the director wanted someone with big hands so they could get good shots of the scales on them? You can really see what I'm trying to say in the scene after he's washing his hands and his mom tells him they're having fish for dinner. He turns away and looks down at his hands and you could see how massive they really are. Also, to be blunt, his palms have a lot of lines and wrinkles. I mean, his lifeline (if he were getting his palm read) would be like 500 years! It's insane (not to mention he has the biggest thumb-area out of any teenager I've ever seen.) But he has an advantage to this: he could be really good at basketball (cause his large palms could catch the ball anytime, and the lines on them act like grippers, and since he has a lot of them, he'd never miss!), and his long fingers make for great hugging material (girls like it when boys can really grip you when your kissing, and with his fingers, it'd be like a dream come true, him corressing your body with his humungous hands!) So together, his gigantic palms for sports (meaning he'd be athletic) and long fingers for girls (a chick magnet) he'd be the ideal boyfriend. His huge hands, put together with his hot and sexy body, he's number one! So anyways, his hands aren't bad, (they're actually very useful...and gorgeous), I was just noting that they were bigger than the average 17 year old's (I hope after filming The Thirteenth Year Chez realized that) cause now everyone knows how those monstrously gynormous hands make him a model, and in all his modeling pictures he should be waving and saluting or something to let the teens of today know how attractive he can really be with those hands (he could grip a bowling ball all the way around when his large palms and long fingers team up together)...other scenes where you can see his hot hands are in the tidepool scene (when Jess shakes Cody's hand and notices the scales), when Cody shows Jess his palm in the testtaking scene, when Cody goes swimming in the ocean and looks at them (notcing that he may be "getting better"), when he's getting a glass of water at his party (first you see them when he's filling the glass at the sink, then you see them again when he touches his lip after kissing Sam), and there are other scenes, some not so noticeable (but keep looking, they're there!) Most of the time you just have to look at them when he's walking and they're hanging down at his side (cause when he's letting them just hang like that, he's not clutching them together, he just lets them hang there, so you can see how long his fingers are)...and whenever he's waving to Sam or raising his hand in class or reaching to turn on the waterfountain or holding the railing while walking upstairs or picking up a book or a picture or whenever you get a chance, or do like I do and pause the movie when on a close-up of them. Give my shout outs to Chez for having a great face, a great body, and really attractive hands!
