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Wednesday, Mar 18, 2009

hey guys! how has everyone been?
uhm yeah so anyways, i need help from evryone, its not like im in trouble or anything-- its more like an opinion.

so for english we wrote three beginnings for creative writing. not being up myself or anything, i think im an okay writer. what i need you guys to do for me, is to pick which one you like the best. im juts gonna name them one, two and three so just put a number in the comments and that would be greatly appreciated

ONE!

The room. I sit in its corner. It's dark. Clammy. Unrealistic. Fatal.
'Sweetie?' The robotic voice, it haunts me. 'Are you alright?'
It's a maze, seeking into the unknown with the ultimate goal of finding accomplishment. But they're everywhere. I can feel them. A seventh sense.
'It's time.' The chilling voice continues.
I hide. Desperately seeking for a means of escape. Fearing for my life. Panicking, I pivot my head. The art of reconaissance. Seeking the window. It's nowhere to be found.
I can feel it. Constricting. My air, ceasing. It's. Harder. Now.
My hands. Groping for everything. Anything. I'm struggling. There's nothing there.
My eyes. It's pitchblack. There's no window. No light. Nostalgia. There's nothing around me. I don't know where i am.
I'm alone. In its corner. I'm on my own.
I'm terrified

TWO!

I sit by the window everyday. There's not a lot of intriguing picturesque landscape. Although there is a barren patch of decomposed grass; A bunch of tablets sticking out of the ground; almost like soldiers in formation; A wire fence which segregates me from society.
Everyday I sit there thinking. What would it be like to be on the other side of this piece of glass? Would my life be any different if I was? Would i be the same?

THREE!

People see her in the window everyday. Not behind the window. Not in front of the window. Not even next to the window. She sits and stares, in the window. They always stare back at her. With intent to look subtle.
Unfortunately for them, she knows.
Everyday, as they pass, they all wonder why she sits there. She's not behind the window. Nor in front of the window. Not even next to the window. She's in the window.

thanks guys, this would really help me
love.

Category: Writing
Posted by emilylouise, 12:02am
20 Comments | Post a Comment

Comments

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Mmmmmm... Difficult choice... But I think I'm gonna say... TWO!!! Number one is great too, quite scary!

HUGE HUGS!!
Posted Mar 18, 2009 1:15 am PT
This is the best place to ask for help and / or advice Let’s see... *reads* Whoa! It's definitely number 3 for me, it's so intriguing and so very well written. Really catchy 3 no doubt, then 2 then 1. Huge huge hugs
Posted Mar 18, 2009 1:54 am PT
I like three the best too. Then 1, then 2.

They are all good though.
Posted Mar 18, 2009 2:47 am PT
I liked number 3 best, but all of them are really good!
Posted Mar 18, 2009 8:15 am PT
OMG I loooove the third one.
Posted Mar 18, 2009 10:40 am PT
Hmm, they are all three very good! But I have to go with 2 on this one. Good luck with the story, though you don't need it
Huge Hugs!
Posted Mar 18, 2009 10:58 am PT
I think two was the best. (Because I can relate to it)
Posted Mar 18, 2009 11:33 am PT
Hmm.. I Like them all but I'd go with the 3rd one.
Posted Mar 18, 2009 11:22 pm PT
thanks JJ! I gotta admit 1 is a bit scary *spooky music plays* :S lol
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:09 am PT
BM I figured thank you x
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:10 am PT
hey kath, thank you
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:10 am PT
daria: thank you so much
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:12 am PT
hey ivy thanks- muchly appreciated
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:15 am PT
thanks robin I hope so, fingers crossed
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:17 am PT
aww anne if you don't mind me asking, how?
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:20 am PT
charlotte thank you heaps heaps much
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:23 am PT
They are all really good hun
It is a tough choice between 1 and 3 for me Possibly 3 slightly swinging it
Huge hugs
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:28 am PT
hayley! thanks muchly
Posted Mar 19, 2009 2:49 am PT
You choose which one you are going to use hun?
Posted Mar 20, 2009 1:17 pm PT
Hey Em-Lou! Number 3 for me! Lots of love xx Hugs!
Posted Apr 14, 2009 4:26 pm PT
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  • emilylouise
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