I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,

and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, 

my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one 

thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty 

years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would 

regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view 

of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day my finance's little sister called and asked me to come over to

check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She

whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings

and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want 

to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once

before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total

shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and 

if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them

down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went 

straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. 

I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that 

you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man

for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

& another joke  

***SPOILER***
            

A little word from Johnny to start the day..

During one of her daily ****s a teacher trying to teach good manners, 
asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry, 
but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at 
the dinner table

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us your
good manners?"

I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have 
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.

            

            
& another joke

***SPOILER***
    
Just a reminder........
Why Parents Have Gray Hair
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the 
bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. 
It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle
clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, 
she's pregnant.
Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a 
dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt 
anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune 
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS 
so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care 
of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the 
report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!
    

    
xox and they are my 3 jokes that i found  
sorry if u found them lame or boring..
(only coz i have a friend who once did the same sort of thing the note to parents on the bed.. )