so im in love with this guy...his name is grady, and well he is one of my exes. my dad broke us up two weeks into our relationship due to him being an a$$ hole, because he said grady is too old but he is only 18...my dad is i think purposely trying to ruin my life because he cant have a love life(wife left him haha) he has to ruin mine, no i dont think so! grady and i started dating on 9-14-08 and lasted up until 10-1-08....i tried to hate him because he broke up with me through my friends, but apparently he tried to tell me through "riddles" and i was just blinded by love and didnt get it. i no what love is and when im in love, ive loved and ive been and still am in love! they say love is the sweetest feeling, but i say it is wrong. just recently i found out that one of my new bff's likes now really likes him, but since we are not dating anymore im not supposed to care, but for some reason i still do...i was playing truth or dare and asked hannah (my bff) if she loved grady and she said she doesnt know...she had to tell him that and he said "well only say it if you mean it" i dont think she does, but if it were me i would say it and mean it with all my heart the worst part of all, is i cant tell him i love him and it kills me, ive dealt with something like this happening to me already...my ex i loved fell for my bff and she started falling for him but she wouldnt date him because she knew it would kill me seeing them together...my absolute bff casey(ymonkey1592) knows how i feel about grady and she liked him then knew i liked him more and backed off...i swear she is the only one i dont have to be embarrassed to tell all of my secrets to, also i recall hearing of of a text that was sent as a chain leter to her, it said something like, the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love fall for someone else...that really hit me when i thought about it, we have these bracelets called waldo because they are red and white lol and we have both had ours for about a month, i was at my bff rachels house for the night and woke up to see mine was gone! i searched everywhere but couldnt find it, it didnt matter to me as much before as it does now though. he told me i have a month before he takes his off, i said okay and started freaking out wondering where mine was, still to this day cant find it, but hopefully i will soon...he forgot his at hannahs so i took it to him, he said he wanted it back and i said here it is come get it lol but in my own way, and he was like fine forget it dont give it to me and i thought he was just messing around so i was said whatever then took his hand and put it around his wrist then he took it off and said no its fine i dont want it its fine, then ignored me for the rest of the night, so i went home and cried because i thought he hated me, called casey then cried again, everyone thinks im obsessed with him, but if it were obsession i dont think i would have cried like i did, then i felt emo and wanted to die so i expressed it into poems. i dont know how to deal with this...does anyone know what i should do? plze? say anything im open to all suggestions...

p.s. here are two of the poems(beware they are kinda creepy)

Kill me slowly

break my bones

watch me die

all alone

please do not care

what happens to me

for i will soonbe set free

my life is a lie

makes me want to die

i sit in my room

all alone and i cry

i wish the wishes

i dream the dreams

you tear my body

from the seams

i ache in pain

thinking of you

wondering what

im going to do

cant tell you i love you

kills me everyday

to see you and hannah

acting this way

dedicated to the guy who hurts and makes me cry but in the end hes still my guy and i love him