Hey there loyal fans, I'm back with yet another review. Only this time I not reviewing or anime/manga. Well I sort of am.

This reviews subject is:

That's right, Dragonball Evolution.

I tracked down a bootleg of it online, the entire thing was low quality and a few chunks of seconds were cut out of various scenes but I got the overall jist of it.

Now before you freak out and go into pure hatred mode, let me say this. I fully intend to give this movie the same chance as I have every other anime/movie/manga/book/etc. that I have ever watched or read.

Now without further ado:

Dragonball Evolution

2000 years ago the dark lord Picollo and the giant ape Oozaru battled and as a result of their conflict, the entire human race was almost wiped out. Seven monks managed to seal away Picollo at the cost of their own lives.

Back to modern day, we meet a young Goku. A high school student with superhuman abilities that lives with his grandfather Gohan. He's an awkward kid who doesn't fit in at school and doesn't have any friends. On his birthday, his grandfather gives him the four-star dragonball and tells him the legend. There are seven dragonballs scattered across the world and if you gather them all you are granted one perfect with.

Meanwhile, Picollo has broken free from the seal that held him somehow and is now hunting for the dragonballs around the world and eliminating anyone who gets in his way. He eventually comes to Gohan in search of the four-star ball but when he discovers that it isn't there he kills Gohan. Goku, who had been at a party, rushes back home in time to be with his grandfather in the last few seconds of his life.

What follows is a journey to search for the dragonballs and to defeat Piccolo. Along the way, Goku gains allies such as Bulma, the daughter of the Capsule Corporation CEO. Master Roshi, who trains Goku. And Yamcha, a goofy thief.

Together they mus......

You know what? No!

I tried, I really did but that sentence is where my patience ran out. This movie SUCKS! S-U-C-K-S!

I can forgive them for not making Bulma's hair blue. I can forgive them for turning Piccolo yellow. I can even forgive them for getting rid of Krillin.

But I can not forgive them for turning Goku into some whiny, awkward, social outcast high school student that no one seems to understand!

This is not Dragonball, this is Hollywood's latest attempt to churn a buck out of a popular franchise at the expense of the fans.

The scenes have absolutely no flow. The entire thing is rushed. One minute Goku is at a party beating up some bullies and ten minutes later Bulma is trying to shoot him. They tried to take the first few story arcs of the original series and compress it into an hour and a half of stupid jokes, cheap special effects, crappy fight scenes, and a story so pathetically slapped together that it leaves the viewer wondering what the heck they just saw?

What really ticks me off is that this was supposed to a movie for the fans yet it doesn't even seem like they made any attempts to keep the original material. Sure the dragonballs are in there and it's the same basic plot.

But if you take away the dragonballs and replace them with some other all powerful ancient artifact and change the character names then there is no way that anyone could recognize this as Dragonball.

Fans new this was going to happen. They've been doing it to comic books for years and now they've moved on to anime. I died a little inside when I saw this movie. They managed to do what everyone knew they were going to do when they first heard this movie was going to be made.

Way to go FOX! Thanks for angering fans across the globe!

I give this movie a:

-2/5

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I'm sorry, I really tried to give this movie a chance because I didn't want to be one of those whiny fans that gets mad whenever something like this happens. But this movie just made me mad. Half way through I wished that I actually drank, because alcohol is the only way I could have sat through this movie without getting mad.

*sigh*

To think, these are the people who will be making the Cowboy Bebop movie.

Well my rant is over, I leave you this little tidbit of information:

They implied at the end of the movie that there will be a sequel. And guess what? They're already talking about a script.

You hear that?

That's the sound of Dragonball fans all over the world facepalming themselves.