Sunday, Aug 7, 2005
You can keep your characters in character and just with your imagination, create a hidden scene in an episode that explains things.
There is no excuse for caling something an error when you know we don't see everything that happens. Would we like to be told - yes. But, soemtimes the writers must be like the old fashioned storyteller who people would sit by the campfire and listen to. And, while some asked questions, they cannot here - it's true. But, they can still let their imaginations wander, like...
Well, like this scene from a Hogan's Heroes episode that explains why Kommandant Klink's steps were brick and then wood for the rest of the series, the bricks being painted gold bars that the Heroes used, replacing gold the Germans had stolen with regular bricks.
Only Wood Is Patriotic
Col. Robert Hogan caught the look of one of his men as he sat on the steps to Klink's office. He motioned the man over with his eyes, and instructed him to get some red paint.
Quickly, while other men played ball and milled around, the paint was applied tot he one little smidget of gold that was sticking out. Hogan breathed a sigh of relief - it looked like the men were simply being occupied so they wouldn't escape, making Klink look good. Hogan had explained that it was necessary, after all, what witht eh Gestapo in camp looking for the stolen gold. "It would make a great diversion,a nd I don't want my men getting ideas," he'd told Klink.
Now that the job was done, he ordered mustached Sergeant Kinchloe to prepare a memo. One he typed it up, Hogan snuck over and placed it in Klink's mail while necking with Klink's secretary.
Hogan followed Klink into his office, and watched as Klink read the proclamation. "Bad news, Sir?"
"Well...listen to this. 'Attention all prison camp kommandants. It has come to our attention that various camps are using brick instead of wood. This is an outrage and an affront! Only wood - the symbol of our illustrious Black Forest - shall be allowed in our camps, especially in the areas of steps to buildings. Therefore, it is ordered that all bricks be replaced with wood immediately, as only wood is a truly patriotic material!'"
"That's an outrage!" Hogan said loudly, feigning upset.
"Yes, yes, I know...but your men will work to replace those bricks with wood!"
"At what cost."
"An extra slice of bread per week?" asked the often noncommittal colonel.
"Two extra slices," Hogan insisted. "And an hour more rec hall time!" When Klink started to refuse, Hogan cried, "Where's your patriotic duty to your country!"
"I...Hogan, why are you so interested in my performing my patriotic duty? You're my enemy!"
"Just trying to protect you, Sir," Hogan said humbly.
"From what? My record is flawless!"
Hogan jabbed a finger at the letter. "And unpatriotic, according to Berlin! The Gestapo knew already,wbefore they came out here!"
"They said they were after..." Klink shuddered. "You don't suppose..."
"Come on, Kommandant, the Gestapo couldn't lose a shipment of gold. That's a tale fromt he American Wild West!" Hogan, having surreptitiously grabbed a cigar from Klink's box, pointed it at him. "They somehow knew you were replacing patriotic wood fromt he illustrious Black Forest with unpatriotic bricks! And there another word for unpatriotic." Klink gasped. "According to Berlin, those bricks are tantamount to treason!"
"Three extra slices of bread per week! And all red cross packages on time! Now, please, get those bricks out of here and replace them with wood today...!" Klink pleaded.
A few days later, General Burkhalter was making a routine inspection. The Heroes had gotten the gold out the previous evening.
Klink beamed as he opened the door of Burkhalter's vehicle. Almost before the general stepped out of his car, Klink declared, "Herr General, as you can see, I once again have the most patriotic building material, wood from the illustrious Black Forset, adoring my steps!"
Burkhalter stared at Klink like he was insane. "Klink! What on Earth are you babbling about!"
"Why, the wood, Herr General. I know, that bricks are tantamount to treason, and I will not tolerate them in my camp! I will only use wood fromt he illustrious Black Forest in constructing our buildings!"
Burkhalter simply sighed and shook his head. "If you are trying to get me to yearn for your bragging about your no escape record, you are getting close."
Hogan - who had joined the discussion as Burkhalter got out, couldn't help but make a jab at Klink. "Well, Sir, you know, Klink doesn't allow any gold bricks - you know, that's American lingo for lazy troops - on his staff." Grinning broadly, Hogan added "Instead, he just looks for blockheads." Burkhalter smirked dispite himself.
There is no excuse for caling something an error when you know we don't see everything that happens. Would we like to be told - yes. But, soemtimes the writers must be like the old fashioned storyteller who people would sit by the campfire and listen to. And, while some asked questions, they cannot here - it's true. But, they can still let their imaginations wander, like...
Well, like this scene from a Hogan's Heroes episode that explains why Kommandant Klink's steps were brick and then wood for the rest of the series, the bricks being painted gold bars that the Heroes used, replacing gold the Germans had stolen with regular bricks.
Only Wood Is Patriotic
Col. Robert Hogan caught the look of one of his men as he sat on the steps to Klink's office. He motioned the man over with his eyes, and instructed him to get some red paint.
Quickly, while other men played ball and milled around, the paint was applied tot he one little smidget of gold that was sticking out. Hogan breathed a sigh of relief - it looked like the men were simply being occupied so they wouldn't escape, making Klink look good. Hogan had explained that it was necessary, after all, what witht eh Gestapo in camp looking for the stolen gold. "It would make a great diversion,a nd I don't want my men getting ideas," he'd told Klink.
Now that the job was done, he ordered mustached Sergeant Kinchloe to prepare a memo. One he typed it up, Hogan snuck over and placed it in Klink's mail while necking with Klink's secretary.
Hogan followed Klink into his office, and watched as Klink read the proclamation. "Bad news, Sir?"
"Well...listen to this. 'Attention all prison camp kommandants. It has come to our attention that various camps are using brick instead of wood. This is an outrage and an affront! Only wood - the symbol of our illustrious Black Forest - shall be allowed in our camps, especially in the areas of steps to buildings. Therefore, it is ordered that all bricks be replaced with wood immediately, as only wood is a truly patriotic material!'"
"That's an outrage!" Hogan said loudly, feigning upset.
"Yes, yes, I know...but your men will work to replace those bricks with wood!"
"At what cost."
"An extra slice of bread per week?" asked the often noncommittal colonel.
"Two extra slices," Hogan insisted. "And an hour more rec hall time!" When Klink started to refuse, Hogan cried, "Where's your patriotic duty to your country!"
"I...Hogan, why are you so interested in my performing my patriotic duty? You're my enemy!"
"Just trying to protect you, Sir," Hogan said humbly.
"From what? My record is flawless!"
Hogan jabbed a finger at the letter. "And unpatriotic, according to Berlin! The Gestapo knew already,wbefore they came out here!"
"They said they were after..." Klink shuddered. "You don't suppose..."
"Come on, Kommandant, the Gestapo couldn't lose a shipment of gold. That's a tale fromt he American Wild West!" Hogan, having surreptitiously grabbed a cigar from Klink's box, pointed it at him. "They somehow knew you were replacing patriotic wood fromt he illustrious Black Forest with unpatriotic bricks! And there another word for unpatriotic." Klink gasped. "According to Berlin, those bricks are tantamount to treason!"
"Three extra slices of bread per week! And all red cross packages on time! Now, please, get those bricks out of here and replace them with wood today...!" Klink pleaded.
A few days later, General Burkhalter was making a routine inspection. The Heroes had gotten the gold out the previous evening.
Klink beamed as he opened the door of Burkhalter's vehicle. Almost before the general stepped out of his car, Klink declared, "Herr General, as you can see, I once again have the most patriotic building material, wood from the illustrious Black Forset, adoring my steps!"
Burkhalter stared at Klink like he was insane. "Klink! What on Earth are you babbling about!"
"Why, the wood, Herr General. I know, that bricks are tantamount to treason, and I will not tolerate them in my camp! I will only use wood fromt he illustrious Black Forest in constructing our buildings!"
Burkhalter simply sighed and shook his head. "If you are trying to get me to yearn for your bragging about your no escape record, you are getting close."
Hogan - who had joined the discussion as Burkhalter got out, couldn't help but make a jab at Klink. "Well, Sir, you know, Klink doesn't allow any gold bricks - you know, that's American lingo for lazy troops - on his staff." Grinning broadly, Hogan added "Instead, he just looks for blockheads." Burkhalter smirked dispite himself.
Posted by dtf955, 6:20pm
