This blog entry was inspired by a topic someone posted entitled, If Genies Were Real What Would Your Three Wishes Be? Oh man, there are so many different things I'd want to try out. For example, for one set of wishes, I'd wish for:
- A time machine capable of going to July 3rd, 1875 and then returning back to my own time
- A map to Alexander Graham Bells workshop
- One of those electronic fart machines
With that equipment I could change the first words ever said across a telephone. Well, they wouldn't exactly be words... but yeah. Could you imagine reading in school, "The first telephone was invented in 1875 by Alexander Graham Bell, and the first sound transmitted across the phone line was a fart."
Another set of wishes:
- A time machine that could go back in time to July 20, 1969 and put me the moon with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and it also has the ability to get me back to my own time and place
- A spacesuit with a radio that works on the astronauts frequencies and a cloaking device so no one can see me
- One of those electronic fart machines
With that equipment, I would wait until Neil Armstrong started saying "That's one small step for man..." and that's when I'd press the button and interrupt. That way when we hear that same recorded quote nowadays (which we hear a lot 'cause it is epic) it would be a little funnier. It'd be, "That's one small step for man... *brrrrrr* one giant leap for mankind." Then you'd hear Buzz pipe in and go, "Neil, WTF was that?" Then you'd hear Michael Collins radio down to them from lunar orbit, "Is everything ok down there guys?"
Here's another set of wishes:
- Several billion dollars
- My own tv channel that has great popularity
- A Big Bacon Classic from Wendy's
I just said the Big Bacon Classic from Wendy's 'cause I only need the first 2 wishes for this one, and Wendy's got rid of that burger from their menu. For this one, I would make my own show where basically I run around and do stupid things. One of my most favorite segment would be where I go to a bank (videotaping the whole thing) and withdrawal a million dollars in cash in big bills. Then go to Walmart and purchase a 5 dollar toilet plunger. Then head to my home where I proceed to take the suitcase of cash and flush it down a toilet while we film it. Then I'd broadcast that on my television channel. I would also make sure that it was an international channel. During the time we roll the credits for that episode of my show I would make sure to list all the charities that we didn't donate to.