Or how to not be a n00b on Left 4 Dead

1) First off, you are NOT Rambo or Chuck Norris, you can't hold off 1000 armed mercenaries with nothing more than 10mm pistol on your own or kick a zombie to the moon in a swift roundhouse kick, you are going to have to rely on your 3 other companions. Going it alone will only result in you getting your guts ripped out by a Hunter or being strangled to death by a Smoker, all while the common infected take a chunk out of important parts of your body and giving you a swift kick in the ribs. Instead, try working as a unit. Communicate and cover each other as they heal and when a comrade falls. I can think of many a sad tale of people who have died in such a way, memories that have led me to write these guidelines to how to survive the zombie apocalypse.

2) The Witch may look cool, but damn, is she pi$$ed. Looking at her too long will send her into a rage and everyone will groan when you get knocked down and destroyed by her. Why is she so angry you may be asking, well I'm afraid there are only theories on such things like that. Maybe she's seen you naked and that's why she's so upset, again, who knows? Just don't shoot/ look at her if you can help it unless you know what you're doing (i.e. if you know how to get the achievement).

3) Never panic! Yes, a Tank looks pretty intimidating when it's charging at you and has just thrown a concrete block at you, flinging you you around the room like a rag doll, but it's really pretty easy to kill. Just shoot at it. Simple! Just make sure all 4 of you shoot at the same time, otherwise you'll do next to no damage to it at all! Setting it on fire is a good idea too, nothing like a good ol' Tank-eque. I like mine crispy...

4) Melee is your friend, always remember. Stuck in a corner? Melee! Blinded by Boomer puke? Melee! Saving a team-mate in close quarters where you can easily shoot them instead of the zombies? Melee!! Despite whacking them full force in the face, you will never harm your pals, but a few strikes on a decomposing noggin will put them down for good! So, it saves ammo and stops you from team-killing everyone!

5) Remember points 1, 2, 3 and 4. Simple yes? Now go and survive the apocalypse, now!