ok. so i sat down at the computer today after mike left amd i started typing this out.

I hate it when people try to sympathize with me about him being gone by saying, "I know how you feel." No you don't! And I hope that you never have to. But you don't know what its like to have the love of your life taken away from you and not knowing the next time you will get to see him again. Not knowing the next time you will get to hear his voice, see his face, or touch his hand. It is the hardest thing in the world to watch him walk away from you. Knowing good and well its will be the last time you get to hold him in your arms for awhile. Knowing that every second you spend together you will have to spend another apart. The nights are restless because you have no one there next to you to hold you, and make you feel safer. And those pillows never seem to be as good as him. No matter how hard you try or how many ways you arrange them, nothing beats having him lying next to you. And when he is, you never want to let him go. Time never seems to move slow enough when you are with him. And it never seems to move fast enough when you are thousands of miles apart. But no matter the distance or the time, nothing can stop you from loving him. Some people have asked me why I'm waiting for him. And all I can tell them is that I love him too much not to. We fight all the time over the stupidest things. And then make up 2 min later. He will drive me crazy, but then he will find some way to make me laugh, and fall for him all over again. I miss him more and more each day he is gone. I usually can make it thru the day with out a breakdown. But there are some days that I can't help but to just go home and cry. And then the next day I'll wake up and fight like hell just to survive. But I'll put a smile on my face just to make everyone think that I'm fine. So I count the days till he is home for good. And I patiently wait for him. I wouldn't trade this for a simpler life. If I couldn't handle it, it wouldn't have been given to me.

I am a member of the silent ranks. I have no official role in the army. But I do have an official role with my soldier. I am the one he has left behind to go fight for your right to even read this. I will always support my soldier in every way I can. I would go thru heaven and hell just to have him back in my arms again.

Remember when you go to sleep tonight that there are soldiers all over the world fighting for you. If only we had more men and women like them

Baby, I love you so much. I can't wait till you come back to me for good. You are my hero always and forever.