"Learning to Swim"
Stacey beats the boys away with a stick
Jason is jazzing on his sax
Huey's hugs are more popular than ever
Kids flew the coop and Mom is starting to relax
Finding ourselves and staying the same
Following the rules to win the game
Every river has its rapids
Every summer has its fall
Every desert, its oasis
Here's a balance after all
Life is precious, doesn't last long
Savor every note in every song
Follow advice and give out our own
Pay all our dues and our loans
Ramley trains for his second marathon
Scholary Amir writes his first thesis
Kasey bravely tries soy cheese
And Dana is still picking up the pieces
Staying ourselves, making the name
Bending the rules and staking our claim
Every road has its bumps
Every car, its dent
Every rough has its diamond
It's not what's said but what's meant
Laugh and joke, and play along
Forgive when we're right and when they're wrong
Reap the fruit of the seeds we've sown
The mirror reflects how much we've grown
Greg takes off at a running start
Holly pulls off an Ollie at the rim
Emmett dies into the deep end
And I'm still learning to swim
Practicing hard, improving our aim
Our hearts endure through batter and maim
Every soul has its ache
Every heart, its hole
We are in the midst of life
We must step into the role
At the end of the journey, we are old and strong
At the end of the quest, we'll be where we belong
Whether or not, we'll have a happy ever after...
We'll remember the smiles, the tears, and the laughter
All that accompanies good friends and friendships
And all the growth that follows strife and hardships...
Emmitt dives into the deep endAnd I'm still learning to swim
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.
Chapter Two
I glanced at the mirror once more and smooth out nonexistent
wrinkles in my hakama. I looked presentable. My hair was in its formal topknot,
and my attire was of a black silk material with dark blue accent, in imitation
of the night. Cool, collected, like the beauty I would marry.
Now if only my nerves would cooperate.
“Why are you so nervous, master?” asked En, in his bored,
deep drone, a voice that made me wish my own were more mature and toned. He
came in front of the mirror as well and gave my appearance his pleased
approval. At least I managed to impress someone close to me tonight. “You know
she’ll accept.”
Yes I do. And yet… “Remind me why that is again, will you?”
My voice sounded as nervous as I felt and looked.
My servant sighed and gripped my shoulders. Recognizing this
particular ritual of ours, I sat down, almost apologetic for putting En through
the torture of dealing with a spineless me. Then I looked in the mirror and saw
his amused grin. He rolled my muscles and loosened the knots caused by my
stress. “We’ve been through this too many times. I’m surprised you haven’t
memorized what I’m about to say.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t memorized what a hopeless
moron I am.”
“Oh, I have.”
“That’s comforting.”
“It isn’t to me.”
I laughed. En merely shook his head, wearing that knowing
half smile on his face. A moment of companionable silence passed as En finished
massaging my shoulders. As he stood up, I half-heartedly sought his reassurance
once more. “So, what’s the plan for tonight again?”
He slid open the shoji and as he faced me to slide it
closed, he replied, “If you don’t know it by now, you really are hopeless.”
/
He’s going to propose to me tonight, I can feel it. I pulled
on a kimono with a simple, floral design. I was never very involved in
elaborate clothing designs, never in the financial situation to be. Never in
the right state of mind or heart to be. Tonight, I wish I could be, just
tonight, just to show him that marrying him would mean something to me.
I looked for jewelry, and expected and found none. I asked
one of my father’s friend’s wives for cosmetics, only to be told with
admiration and a hint of resentfulness in her voice my complexion was perfect.
Perfect. Bah.
I needed something to speak for me, show for me, that I did,
I did care that I would be his wife. I needed something to do it for me because
I knew my heart would not.
/
I took her hand and walked us to our seats. We’d arrived
with a spare few minutes before the play, a few minutes I hoped I could use as
time for conversation. I also hoped I wouldn’t fumble those few minutes as my
fingers were fumbling the hairpin in my sleeve.
I probed my memory for En’s advice about sparking a
conversation. “Only catch eye contact when you mean to. Don’t ever
blush from something she says. Make her blush. If you can’t think of
something to say, pretend to admire the sky, the scenery, or whatever is around
you at the moment. Wait for something to come to you. And whatever happens,
don’t clear your throat in the middle of a silence. Did you hear me master? I
said, do not clear your throat. Ever.”
“W-why not?”
“That callous, crude, disgusting action not only alerts
the female that you have a buildup of… mucus… in your throat, but also may be
mistaken as a sign that you are bored with whatever activity you are
participating in and she will then undoubtedly look to you for a
conversation you are not prepared for.”
“…All that from a cough?”
“Yes. So don’t do it.”
It was just that moment I felt a buildup of phlegm along my
Adam’s apple.
I cursed En as thoughtfully as I could. It was the middle of
the cold season, and he expected me not to clear my damn throat? I felt my
throat tighten and produce more phlegm as my face reddened. Still, I didn’t
clear my throat.
Damn you En!
/
I wondered why his face was so red. He couldn’t have been
blushing… could he? He was never very nervous around me. We were always very
natural around each other, as natural as I can be. Was it because of the
proposal?
I gently touched his hand. “Is something the matter
Kiyosato-sama?”
He stared at me as if I were the most frightening thing he’d
ever seen. I pulled my lips into a subtle frown, something only he could
detect. He quickly shook his head.
What was wrong with him?
/
Just a little one. Maybe she wouldn’t notice. I swallowed as
roughly as I could, which relieved the tension before multiplying it by an
ungodly number. Just a little one…
And then the play started.
...
The play, as the brochure had read, was a tragedy of some
sorts, involving a man gone off to war, leaving his wife and son behind. The
war had gone on and on, and when the husband finally returned home, he found
two statues in the shape of a woman and infant. His wife and son had turned to
stone waiting for him.
Or at least, that was what the brochure said. Not that I
was paying attention. Oh, no. I was busy trying to figure out what would
be the best time to sneak in a cough.
I glanced over at Tomoe, hoping she would be too engrossed
in the play to notice one callous, crude, disgusting action from the man hoping
to become her husband. Instead, her normally politely interested eyes seemed to
strain to stay open.
She was bored. The timeless, beautiful, tragic play was boring
her. I was boring her!
Oh, just hit me over the head with a sword right now.
/
He looked so uncomfortable. I couldn’t blame him. He was
sitting next to me, after all, the only woman in the audience not
struggling to hold herself together, and thus the attention of many glaring,
teary-eyed glares. It was a tragic play, but I was too engrossed with the
anticipation that when the play was over, I was to be a bride. Or at least, I
hoped so.
The end of the play was approaching. The soldier began a
tearful lament for his lost family and the horrors caused by war. Akira began
coughing.
I turned to him worriedly. His eyes were as wide as the full
moon, his hands covering his mouth in a futile attempt to muffle the sound. The
stage troupe continued, politely ignoring Akira’s plight.
Cough cough
I patted his back as gently and firmly as I could. How was
it that his face was getting even redder? “Kiyosato-sama, would you care for
some water?”
He shook his head. I doubted I could locate any in the first
place. I rubbed his shoulders in a motion focusing my energy on my lower palm,
a technique I used to soothe Enishi when he had a cold.
“The behavior of these lower class citizens is enough to
make me start choking!” said a voice that clearly wanted to be heard. I
turned my head to meet the eyes of a handsome young man in his crowd of lady
friends. There was no doubt in my mind he wanted to show off, his male ego
demanding he do so. Well, there was no need for him to use Akira to impress
those giggling airheads. And what was wrong with coughing? It was the middle of
the cold season!
I gave him my coldest, most emotionless glare, all knowing
and uncaring. He shivered and looked away.
I turned my attention back to Akira, who had calmed down and
was holding his head in shame and dejection. Now it was my turn to shake my
head. I held my arms just open enough for him to take me into his. He sighed as
he pressed his nose into my nape. “I hate plays.”
He couldn’t see my smile, could he?
/
Well, that was a disaster. But I must move onward!
We walked back to her home. The streets of Edo were quietly
being engulfed by night. I knew in a distant part of the country, this time of
day was the prime for the escalating war between the Shogun and the rebels.
What were they called again? The Ishin Shishi? Well, no matter. War… Seems so
far away. Love, comfort, and peace, was walking by my side, arm in arm.
We arrived, and I was surprised to see Enishi not waiting
for Tomoe’s return. Thankful, but surprised.
She hesitated before stepping forward and placing a hand on
the gate.
“Wait.” Now or never. Or maybe tomorrow. No. Mustn’t think
that. “Tomoe.”
She turned around and placed her hands by her side, an
expectant look in those deep eyes of hers. That little cat. She knew.
With that weight off my shoulders, I relaxed. She wasn’t
running, which had to be a good sign. I hoped. Shrugging on my boyish smile, I
stepped forward and dipped my hand into my sleeve. Suddenly, or maybe not so
suddenly, wishing I was a bit richer, a bit handsomer, a bit more of a catch, I
pulled out a hairpin En had helped me pick out. Ah En, I hope your tastes are
good enough for Tomoe.
“Yes, Kiyosato-sama?”
My hands were shaking, but I focused only on her. I think
that only made things worse. I took a deep breath. “No need to drag things
out,” I murmured. “Yukishiro Tomoe… Joy of my life, night of my day…” Damn! The
words sounded so much better when En was saying them! “Will you marry me?” I
finished, taking the care to lower my tone on the last word.
I looked at her and saw nothing. I held out the pathetic
hairpin in both hands and saw nothing. She placed her hands over mine.
Was that a blush? No, it couldn’t be. No matter how I tried,
I could never make Tomoe blush.
“Yes,” she said, barely a whisper.
I smiled and drew her into my arms the second time that
evening. It was a light embrace, nothing too personal, too invasive. A hug
between childhood friends, not lovers. No, not lovers.
I savored it and let her go. I looked at her again, and I
saw nothing.
Nothing.
/
He proposed to me. I accepted. We’re going to be married. Is
the world spinning as fast as I think it is?
I calmed myself down. If Akira could remain nonchalant, so
could I.
What?
I studied the face of my fiancé (Was it right to refer to
him that way now? I sound like a brainless chit.). He was smiling, but it
wasn’t the warm, caring smile I’d grown so fond of seeing.
Why wasn’t he happy? We’re to be married. Married. So
why…?
Why?
///
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