A co-worker of mine named Stephen has some minor medical issues that prevent him from attending work on occasion. No one knows exactly what is wrong with him as the Medical Department treats Doctor - Patient confidentiality seriously. It has something to do with Headaches and his sinuses and just plain old nuttiness.
He even passed out at his desk on one occasion. When we told his Mother that we were going to take him to the Hospital she asked "Why ? ".
Coincidentally, most of his episodes seem to occur after he is up all night watching a west coast sporting event. I attribute most of his ills to a combination of fatigue mixed in with whatever Meds/ Booze he is ingesting. He has been out of work for almost 4 of the last 5 months and he is still employed. Apparently the Medical staff will not let Human Resources fire him.
I thought it would be funny to share a few of his "Excuses" with you. Keep in mind that my Friend is 40 years old and he is NOT mentally challenged. He is ac tually quite bright.
Please keep in mind that these are all true stories.
Why he will not be in today:
1- His Mothers in the Hospital - ( Yet she Calls Me and says she is Home and asks if I have seen her Son )
2- His Apartment is Flooded. ( Okay this may be legit but it gets worse )
3- ( next day ) Landlord sucked up his Metro Card while vacuuming the water from his flooded Apartment and he has no way to get to Work.
3- Diarrhea ( These calls are usually voice messages made at 2 or 3 in the morning that last over 5 minutes..Describing in grisly detail his Intestinal woes ).
4- Lost his Wallet and he has no $ to get to work.
5- After a minor Nose operation - He cant come in because it is too cold outside ( Maybe his Nose will fall off just like Michael Jacksons ).
6- His Mother says he cant come in because it is too cold outside. ( I'd have to be near death to allow my Mom to call in sick for me)
7- He had to break into his Apartment but now he can't get out. ( I still can't figure this one out. No hands ? Maybe he ate too much and now he cant climb out the window he previously climbed in ? )
8- The Bus driver would not let him off at his stop. ( Possible I guess. I saw Speed to )
Why he will be Late today:
1- His Mother calls Me and says " Stephen will be a little late today and he couldn't call you himself as he is stuck on the Bridge and his Cell Phone is dead".. ( Hmmm,, How did you know this Mom ? Telepathy perhaps ? )
2- Fell Down and Couldn't get up. ( I sware this is true )
3- His Car broke down and he is going to pull the Transmission. ( Wow, he can do a Transmission job and still come to work but he can't get up after he falls down. )
4- An Old lady fell down and he had to take her to the Hospital. ( Why not, we bought the last one )
5- Someone found his Wallet and he had to go get it. ( Truth is he really found it in the Laundry )
6- After being warned that he is on probation he came in 30 minutes late the very next day. The guys got Balls the size of a Rhinos.
These are only a few of the many excuses he has used over the past few Years. Needless to say he keeps us all in stitches at the Office.
76 Year Old Teacher Liviu Librescu gave his life by barricading the door against crazed student Cho Seung-hui. Even while shot he continued to repel the attacker while at least 20 Students escaped through windows. He is a Hero in the truest sense of the word.
Here is his Wikipedia Biography:
Firstly. I personally do not condone what Don Imus said about the Woman of the Rutgers Basketball Team. It was a very harsh racial and sexist affront about Woman He knew absolutely nothing about. They have every right to demand an apology and the right to confront Imus for the horrible things He said.
But why has this become a Witch hunt against one venom spewing Man ? Is Don Imus the only Media Personality who's trademark is based on insults, and racist and sexist slurs ? Hell, if People of all ethnicities and creeds lined up to complain about some form of slur against them by some Person of status or the Media, there would be a line to the Moon and back.
Imus just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and now his career is on hold. Should we care that this millionaire is presently unemployed ? Not really. But why stop now ? Dont just burn one Witch because He has the biggest Mouth, burn the whole damned Coven.
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