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Sunday, May 21, 2006
NOTE: LOWEST MARK IS A D WE DO NOT GIVE OUT Fs
Major Contributors: Coolblue2


Xbox 360
Teacher comment: 360 was one of my best students, I was able to inspire effective online capabilities and connectivity, with a fair hardware output and fair price. He was the first one to come out into the market and apply himself. Everything about him is fair and fine. Good luck and keep ut the good work 360! YOU'VE GRADUATED!

Price - B (premium package: good deal), C (retarded package: bad deal)
Online - A- (Xbox Live makes all online go poof, but costs money)
Hardware - B (less than PS3, better than Wii)
Multimedia - A (Windows Media center connectivity, download and gameplay trailers, HD-DVD attachment)
First party support - B (good games, just not very often)
Third party support - B+ (good games, a little sparse but good)

Wii
Teacher comment: Wii was one of the more peculiar students. He always preferred to spend his time developing new ideas and innovations and he encouraged the class to think outside the box. He lacked the muscle to excel in sports as the others, but he was easily a cut above the rest in the arts. Change the world Wii. YOU'VE GRADUATED!

Price - A (you can't get better than the cheapest console on the market)
Online - B (good connectivity, however a sparse amount of features, long friend code)
Hardware - B- (hardware fails miserably, but has good gameply potential)
Multimedia - C- (DVD playback attachment but it seriously wasn't made for anything except games)
First party support - A (Mario, Zelda, end of story)
Third party support - B (it's actually BETTER THAN the GC this time around, so we're seeing developers like Ubisoft step up to the plate to experiment)

PS3
Teacher comment: PS3 was one of our best athletes, he could render any amount of polygons in lickety split. He was a bit greedy this time around though, needing some more money then necessary. Caught a few times copying from some of the other students. Sometimes he would bring in a new feature for show-and-tell and nobody would be interested. All in all though, he's a good student. PS3 GRADUATED!

Price - D (all fanboys let out a collective 'omg' when they saw it, unfair pricing scheme)
Online - B+ (you'll get cool friends lists and Xbox-like marketplace, but as previous experience indicates, not quite as good as Xbox Live)
Hardware - A- (can't argue with that, but NO RUMBLE)
Multimedia - B (Blu-Ray, support for music, pictures, and web which you can just go on your dam PC , but just because Sony took the risk with a new format, I give them a B)
First party support - C (Sony doesn't make much, case closed)
Third party support - A- (Not all of them are good, but hey, selection is for smart people)

PSP
Teacher comment: PSP was overly ambitious. When he was in the science fair he created the UMD and won universal approval, but when it came time to marketing, it's failure hurt him badly. Many liked him because he tried to help everyone by showing photos, keeping music, surfing the web, and watching videos with his friends, though he wasn't skilled in any of those. Thanks to your helpful attittude, YOU'VE GRADUATED!

Price - B (Game-wise, not as good as DS price)
Online - A (Good solid interent connection and downloadable content, full fledged online anywhere)
Hardware - A- (Good firm hardware, constantly updated protection which always gets cracked somehow though)
Multimedia - C+ (Failed UMD format without support, however it can do other things like play music. It's kinda sad you can already do that with a smaller screen on a cell phone.)
First party support - C (Again, sony doesn't make much, case closed)
Third party support - B- (Not many games, but most of them are enjoyable.)

DS
Teacher comment: DS, like the Wii, was also very peculiar. He liked to have people touch him in his lower screen. This proved useful because thsoe around him realized it was fun to touch him. So, while those around him focused on a broad range of subject, DS refined his skills in the art of touching and making games that involved touching, and boy did he do it well. For making touching satisfying again, YOU'VE GRADUATED!
(if the above comment sounds wrong get your head out of the gutter)

Price - A (excellent price for what you want: games)
Online - B- (internet connection somewhat unstable, long friend codes, no downloadable content, but at least there's a gamer card to track everything online)
Hardware - B- (weak hardware with poor graphics, but touch screen is new and fresh)
Multimedia - C- (cant' hold as much as other handhelds and 3rd party attachments required for multmedia playback, that's fine for a game console though)
First party support - A (Mario, Zelda, again, case closed)
Third party support - A- (A solid amount of games, most of them are enjoyable.)
Posted by billyea, 3:51pm
19 Comments | Post a Comment

Comments

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Quite enjoyable text, I'd say...
Posted May 22, 2006 1:41 am PT
all I can say is wow!
Posted May 22, 2006 1:03 pm PT
Awesome, an enjoyable read.
Posted May 23, 2006 2:40 pm PT
That was so cool. Thanks for putting the link in your sig, otherwise I would never have seen this.
Posted May 24, 2006 9:59 pm PT
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
Posted May 26, 2006 2:33 pm PT
lol.....thats not awkward
Posted May 26, 2006 11:55 pm PT
Pretty good symbolism you got going there.
Posted May 27, 2006 12:34 am PT
Great, enjoyable reading!
Posted May 27, 2006 12:46 am PT
That's pretty good. thanks!
Posted May 27, 2006 8:34 am PT
We don't know if they are going to use friend codes on the wii, if they do well then I will be disapointed.
Posted May 27, 2006 8:37 am PT
on IGN they posted an interview with Nintendo in which they said a 'friend code' system for the Wii would be implemented
Posted May 27, 2006 11:26 am PT
Heh, that was pretty interesting, the way you put things.
Posted May 29, 2006 7:48 am PT
Go DS! That was some pretty fun reading.
Posted May 30, 2006 3:16 pm PT
i actually fear the ps3 might not have as much 3rd party support as many might think.
i feel many companies might shy away after they announced their price plan
Posted Jun 4, 2006 12:13 am PT
The PSP report could've been better, but other than that, it was pretty good.
Posted Jul 12, 2006 8:38 pm PT
That was pretty well thought out andclever. I enjoyed it.
Posted Jul 15, 2006 11:48 pm PT
WOW that was amazing!
Posted Jul 25, 2006 3:14 pm PT
Thats NICE!!!!!
Posted Aug 11, 2006 1:41 pm PT
Totally biased against Microsoft.
Posted Jun 19, 2007 3:01 pm PT
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  • billyea
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