So I am trying to take a break from acting at the moment. Trying to take care of my anxiety/paranoia problem, which has been draining me out. I even have trouble playing video games....but that little voice of insecurity is haunting me...telling me I am going to be missing great opportunities...I might miss my big chance...

But you know what...It doesn't matter...if all else fails, I will make my movie. I just have to be patient and make sure I enjoy the journey. From personal experience I learned that, when you truly let go and trust yourself...magical things happen.

So at this moment, I am trying to just go things that I really enjoy. It's been hard since I have been fighting depression and anxiety for a long time. So at this moment, I am not really enjoying anything. I will watch anime or try to play a game, when the anxiety is getting to me. Listening to music has helped as well.

Currently, It's been rought. I don't have any real good friends in LA...and the people I have met I have pretty much cut myself off from them...at this moment, I am very picky with the type of people I want to hang out with. I want to meet real secure people, who are truly happy, enjoying life, and spiritually connected. I need to be in a secure environment with people that I can truly trust.

But everyday I am growing stronger and learning more about myself. Despite the hard times, I am seeing light somehow. My therapist is a great person...though she couldn't help me much with therapy...I did learn a few things from her....and I am moving to the next step. I am now looking for a spiritual healer to help me release some of these emotional blocks I have located in my body...these blocks are most likely memories from the past....

So that's my first blog...kind of serious. I don't know why I decided to write it tonight...I just felt like sharing...maybe it's the start of something big. Who knows. But this site has helped me relaxed...mainly OT...as long as I don't caught in the arguments...At this moment I am also trying to appreciate the unique personalities on this site..because everyone is really unique in their own ways..which is what makes OT great.

Well..It almost 3 am...I guess I will get dressed since I had gotten out of the shower.

I guess you end these thing with a bye? Bye!