Last night I decided to leave GS.
There is nothing worse that can happen to an Agoraphobe than for her
to find the words
to speak
and then
have those words taken away. 
Because speaking again after being muted is near impossible.
I have been unable to speak in HAL0 since given my
2nd moderation in 2 days
and EVER for ( OMFG ) trolling. 
I'm nearing 2 years here and it took me prolly 16 months to find
my voice here at all. 
Now within 2 days I've been moderated for defending myself and
my union from a
jealous egotistical person who is upset because I have Top 100's in my union
that I named HAL0 for
High-scores And Leaderboards Organization
Yeah, apparently I'm not supposed to have Top GS whatever in
my Top 100
I should let someone else who THINKS he knows what he is doing
@ a Union that has
NOTHING to do with Leaderboards do it instead, not ALSO,
but INSTEAD.
It's also been argued I should change my union name. 
I say I can name it anything I want !
Does The Emblem Union produce GS's Emblems ? No
They talk about emblems....
It should be called The We Talk About The Emblems Union
Does Viennsories Cafe have real food, hunh ? NO
It should be called Viennsories Non-Cafe then.
( See accusations 2 blogs back if U need to understand this )
My response.....If U change Urs, I'll change mine. 
I can go on and on....but I think I made my point.
Back to my leaving GS
This person has followed me around with his friend (s)
making me feel attacked & helpless to do anything
because when I reply...it is deleted and moderated.
Admittedly the first issue, because of 1 line...was my own fault.
Here is the Ask The Mods Topic where it is discussed
and where I am given leave to reprint in full minus a few small edits.
But I find myself unable to speak there now.
I can't. I can't. I can't do it. 
I was going to, I made a couple topics in response to demands
but I had a migraine and went to bed.
When I came back I was moderated again for a comment
I made directly before
the one that was moderated 20 or so hours before.
I'm told it could have been seen as trolling. I disagree.
It was self-defense.
This person also has been making comments behind me with one of his alts...
and other things I can't quite prove yet so I won't add them here.
My voice is gone, I cannot speak there.
I can't even speak at my other union.
I have no desire to be where I'm muted in my own "home"
I don't want to even be on GS at all. I feel driven away by a selfish child.
I have been here every single day for 8 to 20 hours a day for over a year.
I'm sure there are records....check em.
I have WORKED to make GS a better place.
A safer, funner, more inviting, interesting, caring place. A home.
I feel driven from my home. Yet, I have no where else to go. Just my 360's blog, maybe.
I decide to leave GS
But last night, along with arguments from friends... this happened
A true short story for U....
Last night I was awakened by this awful screeching kind of blowhorn-like sound.
I thought the pack of wild dogs that roam my area had gotten one of my kittys
So I streaked outside to save my baby ! Barefoot and practically bare-assed. 
Well I was in a friggin hurry! 
I was gonna rip em apart with my bare hands !
What I found was this teeny tiny kitten...one eye still partly glued shut. He was screamin bloody murder cuz he couldnt find his mommy. He'd run up to my cats, who all accompanied me on my investigation, and all but Belly would hiss at him and take a swipe. Belly prolly wanted to eat him 
Anyways, I finally chased the lil screamin bugger down in my undies and across all kinds of thorns and ouchies. 
Caught him and got him inside and now if I move from his sight he screams more bloody murder 
Ok, no point too this story except that it reminded me how good it feels to rescue something or someone. And how awful I feel that I can't rescue so many other people here on GS. I can't even rescue myself apparently. But I AM going to keep trying.
Yesterday I was so upset I decided to leave GS. Today I decided to just take a break for a lil while.
Can't say for how long. I don't know.
I'll be back 
Bet on it.
I'll
NEVER QUIT, ONLY PAUSE.
I'm making Tyler leader of HAL0
Please help him as much as possible.
BooBS will survive without me for a lil while, everyone loves BooBS.
note - All linkys not here yet. I'll add them shortly.
Can't say when I'll be back.... But I WILL Be Back
My thoughts on the mods....Most are wonderful selfless hard-working
caring human beings. I'm not trashing the mods.
I respect and trust them while at
the same time I would never consider having such an awful
stressful job.
Linky to my 360's blog ~ I'll post there every day.
Comments
come back and face the horde It`s happened to me too
and i`m quite a sensible person (really ;P) and i`m still around Trolls have a short memory span, in a little while they`ll be somewhere else doing the same thing
So... hugs and kisses
and don`t let go!
@ Ice ~ Yes
@ tekmet ~ I am not weak. I am simply over-whelmed by this "person's" assault. He won't win. I promise U. HAL0 will survive and THRIVE. I can't seem to find words to speak there now. When I try, I just get more an more upset analyzing every word and I wind up saying / writing nothing. It's awful. I've had a migraine for three solid days now. I'm just taking a well-deserved GS break. I don't know when I'll be back, but I can guarantee I WILL BE BACK.
Please help Tyler if U can. I'll still be talking to him. Still giving ideas and input. And as soon as I can I'll be back to claw my way up the leaderboards again
@ Ice ~ I'll be back as soon as I can. Right now I can't spread cheer and positivity and e-hugs and smileys and crappy advice when I can't even speak. I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable in my own blog and if I don't take a break now, I may push myself into leaving forever. so, I just won't be here for a little while.
And I WANT the comments there to remind me what he is and so others can see them also.
Of course he'll prolly go delete them now that I said that, but I have screenshots @ Lance ~ I've always been very emotional....my heart tends to rule my head. I can't seem to change that. I don't think I would be "me" if I did. I'll just have to learn to deal and outsmart them when I get back.
Maybe I'll get lucky and by the time I come back he will have hung himself with all the rope GS has given him.
@ Ice ~ Really ? Could be the PM lag glitch...try going to the other cnet sites and checking Ur PM's there.
@ Tekmet ~ I'll advise.
Since I already resigned I can't do anything now. I'm sure ya'll can work something out.
You could tell earlier and we could have campaign against them!!! Well, I know how stressful it can be, being afraid to write something knowing that there is some creep on your back, stalking and reporting you...
As how much I wanted to roar on them, I used to have control-just ignore those creeps who have no lives beside this virtual one!
Wait, are we talking about me?
@ Dana ~ Speaking of Stalkers, I had two at one time once
They actually werent stalkers ( ok, one was, one wasnt )
Long Story Anyway, We called them Stalker Number One and Stalker Number Two. My friends would come tell me when one of them arrived where we were and I would dive under tables and make my way to the door asap. No, Ur not a stalker....U have NO idea.
You have 551 unread PM's? Ohoh... So, that is why you haven't replied on my love letters!
Those 558 unopened ones are mostly Union Invites
and people tracking me. I saved almost every single one since there is no limit of PM's U can keep and a lot of em have smileys or kitty pics my friends sent to me.
If I could transfer them to another program, I would, but I don't know how.
LOL, U eviled me
@ Ice ~ Lalalaaaa
@ devilreyes ~ Nope, he was just the beginning of the headaches, hasnt bothered me since ya'll last know ( as far as I know )
@ Ice ~ not any more , he's not bothered me since, so I rarely give him a second thought.
@ Dana ~
Converse with other people in mah bloggy all U want. Seriously. @ Ice ~ U too, LilFace.
Stay here, don't go... just set your profile and blog entries to "private". That way people who are already your friends will still be able to interact with you. Besides, where else am I going to be able to get all those wonderful song links from?
chevrons?
I'm not a good person for emotions, I've never really felt them much, barring anger and rage. But I must say this stirs up a mix of them, even in my scarred and beaten soul. While it will seem much less interesting to be on Gamespot, I hope this might give you a bit of a break for gaming, and perhaps other things in your life, and hope can be a good emotion. It also stirs up the beast of hate inside me towards those who have made it come to this, and that's not something they should relish, and don't you even tell me to control it, because I can only do what I can. They are merely lucky that I cannot express my rage in the way I once did, because I do not know where they live. Take as much time as you need away from Gamespot, and come back whenever you would like, for as little or as much as you see fit, I would hate to think of a good friend being bound to something, to anything. As for stalkers, yeah, I've had them before in my wonderful life as well, oh so very fun. I will continue to do my little things I can in the aid of Tyler, the first of which will be a union update telling our less involved members the very basics of the switch in leaders. As for any and all knuckleheads above me, you don't get the messages because you, at some point in time, disabled automatic PM's. Also, CNET will make money from our "viewing" of banner ads, its not like they put them there to be nice. I won't be deleting anytime soon, but I have considered moving my union and it's activities off-site.
I stick to my own blog and the friends I can trust and even then I got reported for something that wasn't offensive or obscene it was just someone who didn't like me and wanted to play "GS cop " People are the same all over the world......I only bother with the worthy ones
@ tekmet ~ of course there is ! I love him.
@ Chef ~ It won't be forever, just til I get over the GS anxietys I'm havin right now. I get all upset and stressed out an then I get migraines....just goes downhill from there. I've had 3 this week already.
When I come back we'll start another Coke-Pepsi War. That was the best @ devilreyes ~ Please don't do that.
GS is a great place, there are just a few people who are not great here. Keep Ur account. U can hang out on my 360's blog with me if U want tho. I'll put a linky in the blog up there in a lil while. She blogs daily. Besides, ya'll gotta keep HAL0 and BooBS alive while I'm gone. Hopefully it won't be long @ Ice ~ Sure, chat away
@ devilreyes ~ My blog is Ur blog, chat all U want
I want my friends to feel safe an comfortable here. @ Taz ~ I'll just be gone long enough to recharge. I don't know how long it'll be. Havent been off GS for a whole day since before I was using my cell phone her
I love GS, just some aspects of GS I don't love. @ Ice ~ Mine was private for a long time. It was stuck on friends only when I used the cell phone. I couldnt change it. That sucked
Chevronsare the lil gold and silver arrow thingys that show Ur a gold member or whatever its called.
@ John ~ TEXT WALL ! Comin back for that
I know this is kinda short but... i`ll check my blog so drop a line there if you have something to say
Take a nice long break and come back whenever you're ready. Have fun with your games n kittahs!
I'm tha leadah of HALO? I don't know if that was a good choice... hopefully the place won't be in shambles when you return. I'll re-leaderize you whenever you're ready. Take care, kittykat!
Gs would be boring without you.
tekmet