You know what they say about not actually appreciating something until you've lost it? I think the same can be said for people. As much as we take our friends and family for granted and expect to wake up the next morning and know they're fine, it's not always a safe assumption.

I got a call last Monday night from my editorand he said that one of our photographers, Randy, had died committed suicide. It didn't hit me hard that night. I was shocked and upset, but nothing serious. Actually, that's not the right way to say it. It was serious, but I don't think that it had truly hit me the way it did a lot of people.

I'm not an emotional guy when it comes to things like that. One of my buddy's best friends killed himself about five years ago. Before that, two friends I had in school were killed seperately. My entire family is dead from some cause or another. So I'm not shocked by death as much as some people.

Going to work the next day, things were extremely awkward to say the least. No one really knew what to say or how to approach the subject. So we all kind of talked around the issue. For a bunch of people who's job involved communication, we were doing the opposite. Our newspaper staff is so tight that we're almost like a family. When something as tragic and shocking as this happens, it's hard to adjust and cope with it.

I almost felt like the callice one of the whole bunch. I had known Randy for close to five years. He helped me get the job I have and really went to bat for me numerous times. And I was walking around fairly stoic about the whole situation. I didn't talk much about what I felt because I really didn't feel anything.

I walked back to the photo lab the day after everyone found out and everything was sitting at his desk like it was normal. I could almost picture him sitting there looking on the Internet for something to do in between assignments. Nothing had been touched. It was kind of serene actually.

But what do you do in a situation like that? It's just so damn awkward for everyone involved that you don't know what to say. "It'll be okay." "We'll move past this." "He was a good man." All of these things can be said, but what do they mean? It's like we're going through the motions. We all knew what kind of a guy he was. At times, he was a pain to work with and you felt like punching him in the face. And other times, you would do anything he asked. There was no one like him up there.

About a day after I found out was when it really began to hit me. I finally began to realize that I would go upstairs every morning, expecting his laughter and his jokes, and he wouldn't be there. And the business can't stop. News doesn't stop for no person, so we had to move on. So we were all talking about how to divide up his assignments. And that's when it finally sunk in that he was gone.

Since then, I haven't slept at night very well. And it's not one thing in particular. But there's just that feeling hanging over my head. And to tell you the truth, I've never had this problem before. I've dealt with death before. But it's never been like this.

But I know Randy would not want any of us sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves or for him. He'd want us out therer doing what we do best. And in a way, writing this is kind of my measure of peace. It's been more than a week since everything happened. It is time to move on. But there was something I had to do before I could. I'm not one to talk about my feelings in a situation like that. But talking about it on here will hopefully let me move on.

Thanks Randy for the great times and the wonderful advice.

If the truth really is out there, it's a cold feeling for "X-Files" fans.

The truth is the franchise died six years ago when the final episode aired in 2002. Don't be fooled by the latest offering, "The X-Files: I Want to Believe," it's only a shell of its former self.

I wanted to believe in Chris Carter, the film's director and series creator. I wanted to believe the movie would return the franchise to its former glory and pave the way for a final resolution to the alien invasion mythos. Instead, it's nothing more than a mystery-of-the-week story that feels like an extended episode. Only, instead of having the suspense, the terror and the appeal of the original series, "I Want to Believe" drags on to an anti-climatic ending with little resolution and ham-fisted story telling.

The movie's story picks up six years after the final episode of the series. Former special agent Dana Scully is working as a doctor in a Catholic hospital while her ex-partner, Fox Mulder, has gone into hiding. The FBI is investigating the disappearance of an agent with the help of a former Catholic priest, Father Joe, a convicted pedophile who claims a psychic connection to the missing victim.

Skepticism of Father Joe leads the FBI to seek out Mulder for his beliefs in the paranormal. Mulder's continued guilt over the loss of his sister compels him to join the hunt for the missing agent, even with Scully's protests.

The duo's relationship is strained even more by a young patient Scully is treating. The patient has a rare brain disease that's untreatable by conventional methods. The only option is a series of painful operations with stem cells, which the hospital balks at. Scully refuses to stop believing she can save the child while Mulder refuses to stop believing he can find the missing agent and vindicate Father Joe.

In a sense, the entire movie is a reflection of the title: "I Want to Believe." Both Mulder and Scully want to believe the course of action they are taking is the correct one, despite all opposition. And while it would make a compelling theme for a single hour-long episode, the viewer is hit over the head again and again.

"I Want to Believe" has a few problems, but there's nothing too detrimental to the experience. However, it's greatest strength is its greatest weakness. Many people, including myself, have great expectations of quality for the "X-Files" franchise when it pairs David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson with Carter. Six years after a cliffhanger ending to one of the greatest shows to ever grace television, I expected more from an "X-Files" movie than a 105-minute soul search with commentary on faith in general, which is what "I Want to Believe" supplies.

The acting and direction are both solid and the dialogue is the same quality one could expect from "The X-Files." But the mystery, the suspense and especially the supernatural are all missing. If you replaced Mulder and Scully with different characters, no one could ever tell the movie was intended to be an "X-Files" film. It lacks any of the feeling of the series. Instead, it feels like a fan-fiction piece thrown together at the last minute to satisfy those of us who have clamoring for a sequel. It's a by-the-book noir mystery without the noir or misdirection. Even the famous music theme from the television show has been replaced with an upbeat remix.

Carter wanted to make a movie that was seperate from the mythos so newcomers wouldn't get confused. In fact, the movie has no connection with the series at all with the exception of Mulder and Scully and the cameo appearance of an old character from the show. There is one thing Carter succeeded at doing: he made a movie so bland that only "X-Files" fans would like because of the title and the characters, while somehow alienating many fans of the show who were wanting something with more substance.

Was able to snag tickets to the press screening last night. After an hour-and-a-half of sitting and waiting, the curtains were pulled back. And when the LucasArts emblem came up on the screen, I knew I was in for something special.

It's been nearly 20 years in the making, but the man in the fedora is back.

An aged Harrison Ford returns to the role that made him a Hollywood icon in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." This time, instead of hunting for ancient religious artifacts and fighting Nazis, Indy faces a new enemy, a red enemy.

The world has progressed 19 years since Indiana drank from the Holy Grail. World War II has come and gone and the country is in the grips of the Red Scare. Much like the Nazis of old, the Russians are looking for a supernatural source of power to help them rule the world. The plot of the "Indiana Jones" movies have never veered too far from the 1930s pulp storylines they were originally based on.

The artifact, an in-human-shaped crystal skull, isn't as interesting as the Ark of the Covenant or the Holy Grail, but it still provides enough mystery to keep the movie progressing at a steady pace.

Shia LaBeouf enters this picture as Mutt Williams, a greaser who's searching for Indy to rescue his mother from the Russians. This is LaBeouf's strongest performance yet in his career and proves that he can act in a character beyond the stereotypical teenager that he's played in movies like "Transformers" and "Disturbia." The chemistry between LaBeouf and Ford on screen is similar to the interaction between Ford and Sean Connery in "The Last Crusade."

The globe-trotting action is still some of the best in Hollywood. And even in his twilight years, Indy can throw a mean punch. Perhaps the best thing about the movie is how he still handles himself, like on his previous adventures, but still shows his age. He feels more human than in the previous films, even when flying through the desert in a led-plated refrigerator.

Most of the humor comes from Indy's age and his previous experiences during the war. At some parts of the movie, it feels a little too heavy-handed and too tongue-in-cheek. Mutt constantly pokes fun at Indy's age, often calling him "grandpa" and "old man." And Indy answers back, still trying to prove to himself that he hasn't gone over the hill yet.

But in fact, "Indiana Jones" has gone over the hill. "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" just lacked that little charm that the previous three movies had, perhaps, because it's been nearly 20 years since we've seen an "Indiana Jones" film on the big screen. It was great to see Ford don the fedora and the whip one last time. But he should hang them up and look back on the legacy that changed the adventure genre forever. There's nothing more to prove and no more adventures to go on without feeling forced and appearing to milk the franchise.

Even so, the movie is excellent due to the breath-taking action scenes and the great performances from the entire cast, including a returning Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood. The cinematography is beautiful and it looks just like an "Indiana Jones" film, even with the technical advances in modern film. Spielberg was able to capture the feel of the previous films and make one last great send-off for the famous archaeologist.