Last night I had a dream that my family came to see me. I miss them a lot and I wish they existed in the real world. For those of you who don't know, in my dreams my wife Ally is played by Reese Witherspoon, she's beautiful, smart, funny and knows what I need even if I don't know. My eldest daughter Samantha played by Jessica Simpson is smart, sweet and caring, loves animals and wants to be a vet. She just got a scholarship to college. Lisa is played by Britney Spears; she's quiet, unassuming and wants to be an actress. Her best friend, Christina, has the biggest boobs I've ever seen for a girl her size. Tricia my youngest is played by Ashley Tisdale, and, well... if she doesn't get her head on straight, she's going to be pregnant and homeless and I won't let her live here.