I've always believed that my preferences in women run a bit different. I mean, busty women don't really intrue me that much, possibly because I've seen unattractive women with big boobs. I would much rather date Reese Witherspoon, Sara Michelle Gellar or Melissa Joan Hart for being svelte and attractive over Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz or Pamela Anderson for being busomy and alledgedly attractive because some else tells me they're hot. I mean, I've had crushes on Elizabeth Montgomery, Cyndi Lauper, Lynsey Bartilson from "Grounded For Life," Erin Moran from "Happy Days," Nancy Barrett from "Dark Shadows" and Beverley Owens from "The Munsters," and several of them have never really been credited with being notable sex symbols. Although, in my dreams, Lauper has a sexual appetite that would make Madonna blush, and Liz Montgomery uses witchcraft to do very weird things. I guess what I'm saying is - don't tell me who is supposed to be a sex symbol, because I have my own ideas on who is.

I'm the dark reflection of your soul
I follow you wherever you go
You can find me at day or in fog
Whether you runor whether you jog
I'm always after your feet
And near you where you sleep...

Last night I had a dream that my family came to see me. I miss them a lot and I wish they existed in the real world. For those of you who don't know, in my dreams my wife Ally is played by Reese Witherspoon, she's beautiful, smart, funny and knows what I need even if I don't know. My eldest daughter Samantha played by Jessica Simpson is smart, sweet and caring, loves animals and wants to be a vet. She just got a scholarship to college. Lisa is played by Britney Spears; she's quiet, unassuming and wants to be an actress. Her best friend, Christina, has the biggest boobs I've ever seen for a girl her size. Tricia my youngest is played by Ashley Tisdale, and, well... if she doesn't get her head on straight, she's going to be pregnant and homeless and I won't let her live here.